The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR SEPTEMBER 2018

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: SEPTEMBER 2018
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our fourteenth month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors are doing a fantastic job each month!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug:  Just a reminder to our Contributors. Rule 9. Links/Graphics/Attachments: Usage of links (personal, business, other humor sites, etc.), graphics, and attachments expose members to potential and unnecessary Internet risks, and they are not allowed. The Humor List members are paying for bandwidth usage and the addition of personal links, graphics, and attachments add up to costs that those subscribing members will unfairly have to pay. Only administrative staff will use links or graphics - and then for official Humor List business only.
Effective November 1, any posts using graphics will be deleted from the Digest for that day.


Sandy: On October 1, all of the October 2017 archived posts from SimpleLists will be permanently moved to our website and will no longer be available through SimpleLists. Posts from November 2017-October 2018 will remain available on SimpleLists. Every month we will be adding the current month to our website and deleting it from SimpleLists - maintaining 1 year of archived files on SimpleLists available to subscribing members ONLY!

Files are currently being re-organized on our website, The Humor List Archive. If you find a broken link, let Sandy know what page you were attempting to reach so she can repair those links she missed. Thank you!!

Holy Guacamole! What a busy month!! As some of you already know, I returned to college after a brief sabbatical - about 40 years worth! With all the extra tasks on my plate, have patience if the website isn't up to date. It's getting there - just need a clone to assist. :)

WOW:    Several times this past year we challenged our contributors to break records and they more than succeeded!! Now for a much deserved rest, we are going back to "normal" posting - and we still managed 418 posts this month!! We will not be planning any more challenges for 2018.
The Humor List Exciting Event

** A very special mention to the 4 Contributors that posted daily for August 2018! A special congratulations to Humoress1 for completing 12 full months of posts!
    Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 19th Consecutive Month
    Humoress1 - 13th Consecutive Month
    Bill Eagle - 6th Consecutive Month
    George Matyjewicz - 5th Consecutive Month
   
The Humor List Exceptional Posting

*** It continues being quite impressive what our dedicated contributors are doing again this month! What a remarkable job with 418 posts for September! Our average for the first 9 months of 2018 is at 15.3 jokes per day. Our daily average for September was 13.9 jokes per day. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!

The Humor List Amazing Event

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: SEPTEMBER 2018 )
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF:  
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
&DUPLICATES
As mentioned in the July Traffic Report, Doug and I wanted to update and clarify "The Rules". The reasons for these modifications are:
1) To keep the quality of The Humor List at the top of available joke lists.
2) Subscriber enjoyment.
3) Clarity of The Rules for Contributors.
4) With only 2 Admin Staff, reduce the daily time required to monitor and enforce The Rules

Because duplicates have been a continued issue, this is the first area we're going to address. A "DUPLICATE" is defined as joke that has been posted within the past 6 months. Different set-ups, but a nearly identical punch lines, will also be considered a "duplicate" post. Same day posting or computer errors will be managed on an individual basis by the Admin Staff.

Due to technical and available time problems with both Sandy and Doug, modifications will be added to "The Rules" and become effective November 1, 2018


Archive for Tips and Tricks
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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month 418
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1             16
#2 10 14 14 13 11 15 22
#3 14 18 14 14 13 14 15
#4 13 13 14 14 14 16 13
#5 11 14 14 12 14 13 13
#6 13            

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1             10
#2 6 9 9 8 7 10 10
#3 10 10 9 10 9 9 9
#4 9 7 9 8 9 10 7
#5 7 9 9 7 9 8 9
#6 10            

Statistical Comparisons
  SEPTEMBER 2018 AUGUST 2018 SEPTEMBER 2017 SEPTEMBER 2016
# Jokes for the Month: 418 472 299 138
# Submission Days for the Month: 30  31 10 30
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 13.9 15.2 10 5
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 22 20 17 0
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 11 12 12 0
# Contributors for the Month: 16 17 19 0
# Total Contributors: 23 23 23 16
# New Subscribers for the Month: 0 0 5 4
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 0 0 1 4
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 331 331 242 1467

(1) The past statistics are based on addresses registered to our Listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
(2) While the information was interesting, because of the way mailing programs have become so universal, there's no way to accurately track the number of countries currently receiving The Humor List. We have discontinued reporting "Countries" in our monthly statistics.
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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 9/1/2018 - 9/30/2018
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 30
* Humoress1 30
* Bill Eagle 30
* George Matyjewicz 30
Roger Hyman 29
Paul Benoit 29
Maurizio Mariotti 21
March Warn 21
Lee Bradley 17
Grady Lacy 4
Anna Welander 4
Randall Woodman 4
Phil G 3
Lanny Julian 3
Doug Harter 2
Leonard P Tolopski 2
1 Submission Each: Admin1
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, posting limit is now NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to the "Rule Cop": admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form. If you encounter any problems, contact Admin1.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-August 2017 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-August 2017 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is # 4 in the Digest for 10/31/2009
Link: archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digest/H0910310.php#Joke4


From: Marsha in Texas
Subject: Halloween Groaners

Joke:
What type of horse loves Halloween the most?
Night Mares

What do you hear when a snowman enters a haunted house?
Ice Screams

Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?
To have his ghoul stones removed !

What do boney people use to get into their homes ?
Skeleton keys !

What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
It came back with a skeleton crew !

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

Speaking ill of the dead is a grave mistake. (Tiff Wimberly)

A vampire joined the police force so he could learn the correct way to get a stakeout. (Richard Lederer and P. C. Swanson)

Why did the baby ghost go to the doctor before Halloween?
To get a BOOster shot.

What kind of ghost haunts a hen house?
A poultry-geist.

Why do ghosts go to baseball games?
Because they like to boo the umpire.

What did the doctor say to the witch in the rehab facility?
With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!


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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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