The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR JUNE 2018

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: JUNE 2018
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our eleventh month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors are doing a fantastic job each month!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug: I hope you are enjoying my trip down memory lane with Burma-Shave signs. Around 1950 we were doing a lot of travelling around the US because of my asthma. At that time there were no medicines for asthma and the only thing that would help was to move to a drier climate. My brother Tom and I were always looking for the signs and trying to guess the punch lines.

Now I'M issuing a challenge to our Contributors. We had 488 posts in June, a NEW record for the subscriber-supported list. I am going to have 46 posts in July as opposed to 10 in June. If all our Contributors and our new Contributor Leonard Topolski can help, we can go WELL over 500 posts for July. Let's see if we can do it.

Sandy: A BIG "Welcome Back" to a contributor we haven't seen for awhile. Great to have Leonard P Topolski back and posting humor again!!

If you haven't checked out our new "History" folder, spend a few minutes walking down Memory Lane and take a look! It's a summary of yearly statistics AND a listing of anniversary dates for our past and current contributors. Seeing as Doug's records contain 2,700 members that obtained the status of "Contributor" - the website list is not a complete listing - it just lists contributors that had a major impact on the UGA/The Humor List. If you find a contributor that is missing from our list, and you feel they should be added, let us know! <Please Add>

It's the little things that makes a website. Take a quick look at The Humor List's tab on the main portion of our website (at the top of your browser). We now have our own icon (favicon) on both that section of our site and the Humoress1 site. Unfortunately, without editing every single page on the Archives, I wasn't able to include the icon there.
 

* WOW!  June 3rd was our one year anniversary, publishing with SimpleLists! A lot has changed - we became a subscriber-supported group August 2017, multiple years of our website have been upgraded, we added a search program, and a second site was created for our contributors to use for searching recent posts. Been a busy year!!
The Humor List Anniversaries
The Humor List Exciting Event

** A very special mention to the 6 Contributors that posted daily for JUNE 2018   - and the 3 Contributors that have hit the halfway mark with 6 months of daily posts for 2018!    
    Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 16th Consecutive Month
    Humoress1 - 10th Consecutive Month
    Paul "PBen" Benoit - 6th Consecutive Month
    Bill Eagle - 3rd Full Month
    George Matyjewicz - 2nd Full Month
    Roger Hyman - 1st Full Month

The Humor List Exceptional Posting

***   It continues being quite impressive what our dedicated contributors are doing again this month! What a remarkable job with 488 posts for June! Our average for the first 6 months of 2018 is at 15.25 jokes per day - ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!
The Humor List Amazing Event

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: JUNE 2018 )
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF:  
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
WHAT ARE THE CURRENT POSTING RESTRICTIONS?
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at no more than 3 posts, per email address, per "posting day".

LESS is BETTER!
Though testing methods and results are questionable, it is generally agreed that attention spans are getting shorter. After putting in all that effort to find, organize, and post jokes - you don't want your efforts to go unread because the post was just too long. Try not to post excessively long jokes and limit lists to +/- 20 sets (Q&A/riddles, quotes, taglines, etc.). Try breaking larger lists into multiple posts or sending smaller portions on multiple days (1 of 2, 2 of 2, etc.).

POLITICAL POSTS
While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES!
What does the Admin Staff consider a "duplicate"? Any joke that was contributed within the past 6 months - and reformatting an old joke does not change the basic punchline and make it a non-duplicate.  Remember, a duplicate post will count towards the daily posting totals, but unless you've submitted multiple, non-duplicated jokes that day, you will not have a post that counts towards 
 "Days Contributed" total.

To provide a tool for searching recent posts, there's a new website for contributors only. For the URL and/or assistance with the new searching ability, contact the Admin Staff. It seems to be working as we monitor the search program's statistics - that and the fact the number of duplicates is considerably lower this month!!

Posting restrictions and suspensions WILL RESULT for continued duplicate posting!! Need we say more?

PLEASE - BE CONSIDERATE

The purpose of "Warning Labels" is to warn readers of material that they might find offensive. Please remember to use them appropriately.

Archive for Tips and Tricks
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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month 488
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           15 17
#2 16 19 17 15 16 21 12
#3 14 16 16 14 16 24 15
#4 21 15 15 17 18 15 15
#5 14 14 16 16 15 18 16

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1           9 11
#2 9 11 11 9 11 11 7
#3 9 9 9 9 8 12 10
#4 12 9 10 11 11 10 9
#5 9 8 9 9 10 10 10

Statistical Comparisons
  Jun 2018 May 2018 Jun 2017 Jun 2016
# Jokes for the Month: 488 459 156 119
# Submission Days for the Month: 30 31 30 30
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 16.3 14.8 5.2 4.0
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 24 23 0 0
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 12 13 0 0
# Contributors for the Month: 19 17 15 8
# Total Contributors: 23 23 21 11
# New Subscribers for the Month: 0 0 147 0
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 0 3 67 3
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 331 331 1243 1469

(1) The past statistics are based on addresses registered to our Listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
(2) While the information was interesting, because of the way mailing programs have become so universal, there's no way to accurately track the number of countries currently receiving The Humor List. We have discontinued reporting "Countries" in our monthly statistics.
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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 6/1/2018 - 6/30/2018
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 30
* Humoress1 30
* Paul Benoit (PBen) 30
* Bill Eagle 30
* George Matyjewicz 30
* Roger Hyman (A/Dodger) 30
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 22
March Warn 21
Lee Bradley (T.O.P.) 15
Anna Welander 14
Grady Lacy 13
Doug Harter 10
Phil G 4
Ray Powell 4
Randall Woodman 4
Lanny Julian 3
1 Submission Each: Admin1, Leonard P Topolski
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, posting limit is now NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to the "Rule Cop": admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form. If you encounter any problems, contact Admin1.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-August 2017 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-August 2017 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is # 6 in the Digest for
Link: archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digests/H0707030.php#Joke6

From: Paul Benoit
Subject: Join Us Tomorrow For ...

Joke: GLORIOUS 4TH OF JULY CELEBRATION!!!
Remember the days of yesteryear when the Fourth of July meant more than just blowing things up? It meant community togetherness, family gatherings, patriotism, simple joys, AND blowing things up. We at Amalgamated Humor remember those days. That's why every Fourth of July, we sponsor An Old-Fashioned Fourth in the small town that is the home of our corporate headquarters. For those of you planning to attend or those who wish you could, we thought we'd post the schedule of events. Sure, some little details may not be 100% traditional, but we think we've got the spirit down right.

9 a.m., Town Square: Sousapalooza
Local High School bandleader Mark Thyme leads high school band members, former high school band members, and a guy who taught himself the cymbals in all the marches you'll want to hear (plus several more).

10:30 a.m., Outside City Hall: Stone a Commie
This year we bring back this popular event from celebrations in the 1950s. The mayor, or some other high-placed local politician identifies someone they believe to be a communist (or communist sympathizer). Patriotic townspeople then gather round and hurl stones at them. The first person to hit the Pinko in the head wins one of Gertie Wilson's scrumptious apple pies. Yum!

11 a.m., Sheky Field: Civil War Reenactment
Sure, we could've reenacted a famous battle, the surrender at Appomattox, or the Gettysburg Address, but we decided to do something you won't see anywhere else. Bring the kids for fun and education as we re-enact Civil War amputations, all done in traditional costume and using the correct period surgical tools.

11:30 a.m. - 3 p.m., Flimminhoffer Middle School: Ethnic Food Fest
Taste bland, Americanized versions of specialty dishes from around the world. See cooks and servers dressed in caricatures of foreign dress that nobody actually wears anymore. Laugh at the customs of others while forgetting that your ancestors came from somewhere else too.

11:45 a.m. (repeats every 45 min.), Rialto Theater: "Get 'Em Boys!"- Patriotic Shorts of WWII
Amalgamated Humor didn't just make novelty items for our boys in World War II. They also produced several short films to get folks on the home front behind the war effort. This program features the best of these works: "Joy Buzzers for Combat," "Two Hungry Guys Join Up," "Two Hungry Guys Make the Sergeant Very Angry," "Bombs Away, Two Hungry Guys" and the Academy Award-nominated 1945 cartoon "Dresden Go Der Boom!"

1p.m., Ichabod Lancaster Park: Three-legged Race
Thankfully, our good friend Judge Francis White determined that our refuse wasn't responsible, but there sure are a lot of kids born with three legs in our home town. Boy, do they look forward to strutting their stuff at this annual race. Come on out and gawk at them, won't you?

2 p.m., Cap'n Wacky Avenue: Parade
Locals businesses and organizations are encouraged to build their own floats for fun and competition in this event. Whichever float bests conveys the spirits and ideals of Amalgamated Humor wins a $5 gift certificate.

Day-long event: WWII Remembered
To commemorate the events of the Second World War, all locals of Asian lineage will be rounded up and locked in the high school gymnasium.

6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Midge Memorial Field: Annual Charity Softball Game
Yes, its the fine constabulatory of our fair town playing the executive staff of Amalgamated Humor. Get your biannual glimpse of the presidents of our most distinguished corporate benefactor as they coach from their limousines. Will they keep up their twenty-six year winning streak? Who knows, but our money's not on the boys in blue!

10:00 p.m.- Display Grounds, Amalgamated Humor Main Plant: Amalgamated Humor's Fireworks Spectacular
Due to increased safety concerns, rising insurance costs and complaints from parents that the traditional fireworks show may be too violent for children there won't be a regular show this year. Instead, we will instead be showing a video on the AH:2000 JumboTron, (traditionally used to show Amalgamated Humor promotional material 24 hours a day), of the Young Americans For Freedom Choir with their stunning synchronized red, white and blue flashlight routine. Fun for all!

(via capnwacky.com)

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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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