The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR MAY 2018

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: MAY 2018
Hi, everyone, this is Doug and Sandy, with this month's Traffic Report - our tenth month as a subscriber-supported group and our wonderful contributors continue to break records with a fury!! Our Contributors are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is posted to the entire humor list. We hope that you have found that posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link, has been easier to follow our progress.

Doug: It took a while to get things together, but I am starting a series called 'Memories of Burma-Shave signs'. Postings will start slowly on June 5th and continue through the end of July. July will be at least 1 post a day. Enjoy.

Sandy: Always trying to improve our website, we've added a new "History" folder last month, with a summary of yearly statistics (finally completed) AND a listing of anniversary dates for our past and current contributors. Seeing as Doug's records contain 2,700 members that obtained the status of "Contributor" - the website list is not a complete listing - it just lists contributors that had a major impact on the UGA/The Humor List. If you find a contributor that is missing from our list, and you feel they should be added, please let us know! <Please Add>

* WOW! June 3rd will be our one year anniversary, publishing with SimpleLists! A lot has changed - we became a subscriber-supported group August 2017, multiple years of our website have been upgraded, we added a search program, and a second site was created for our contributors. Been a busy year!!
The Humor List Anniversaries
** A very special mention to the 5 Contributors that posted daily for May 2018!
    Sandy (AKA MsSam) - 15th Consecutive Month
    Humoress1 - 9th Consecutive Month
    Paul "PBen" Benoit - 5th Consecutive Month
    Bill Eagle - 2nd Full Month
    George Matyjewicz - 1st Full Month


*** It continues being quite impressive what our dedicated contributors are doing again this month!  What a remarkable job with 459 posts for May! Our yearly average for the first 5 months of 2018 is at 15.0 jokes per day - ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!


If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: May 2018)
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF: 
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus 
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
WHAT ARE THE CURRENT POSTING RESTRICTIONS?
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at no more than 3 posts, per email address, per "posting day".

POLITICAL POSTS
While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES, DUPLICATES!
What does the Admin Staff consider a "duplicate"? Any joke that was contributed within the past 6 months - and reformatting an old joke does not change the basic punchline and make it a non-duplicate.  Remember, a duplicate post will count towards the daily posting totals, but unless you've submitted multiple, non-duplicated jokes that day, you will not have a post that counts towards 
 "Days Contributed" total.

To provide a tool for searching recent posts, there's a new website for contributors only. For the URL and/or assistance with the new searching ability, contact the Admin Staff. It seems to be working as we monitor the search program's statistics - that and the fact the number of duplicates is considerably lower this month!!

Posting restrictions and suspensions WILL RESULT for continued duplicate posting!! Need we say more?

PLEASE - BE CONSIDERATE

- Recently, we have been enjoying a larger number of daily posts, so our nightly Digests are longer than usual. Please do not post large files. Limit lists to +/- 20 sets (Q&A/riddles, quotes, taglines, etc.). Break larger lists and try sending on multiple days.
- The purpose of "Warning Labels" is to warn readers of material that they might find offensive. Please remember to use them appropriately.

Archive for Tips and Tricks

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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month (459)
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1 - - 21 22 18 22 23
#2 14 21 13 13 12 16 13
#3 15 17 11 14 15 10 11
#4 12 14 12 10 14 12 13
#5 15 14 13 17 12 - -

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1 - - 13 11 12 12 12
#2 8 11 9 9 9 10 9
#3 10 9 7 9 10 7 7
#4 8 8 7 8 9 8 7
#5 9 9 8 10 7 - -

Statistical Comparisons
  May 2018 April 2018 May 2017 May 2016
# Jokes for the Month: 459 452 44 149
# Submission Days for the Month: 31 30 9 31
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 14.8 15.1 4.9 4.8
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 23 20 N/A N/A
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 13 15 N/A N/A
# Contributors for the Month: 17 21 7 10
# Total Contributors: 23 23 10 12
# New Subscribers for the Month: 0 22 0 0
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 3 1 3 4
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 331 334 1461 1472

(1) The past statistics are based on addresses registered to our Listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
(2) While the information was interesting, because of the way mailing programs have become so universal, there's no way to accurately track the number of countries currently receiving The Humor List. We will be discontinuing the reporting of "Countries" in our monthly statistics.
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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one (non-duplicate) submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Daylight Saving Time (2400-2400).
Contributor Posting Order From 05/01/2018 to 05/31/2018
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 31
* Humoress1 31
* Paul Benoit (PBen) 31
* Bill Eagle 31
* George Matyjewicz 31
Roger Hyman (A/Dodger) 23
March Warn 23
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 20
Lee Bradley (T.O.P.) 18
Anna Welander 14
Grady Lacy 9
Admin1 7
Ray Powell 5
Earl Hall (Hi VerChaL) 4
Phil G 2
1 Submission Each: Lanny Julian, Randall Woodman
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Seven rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, limit posts to NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-August 2017 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-August 2017 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK: 
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is #1 in the Digest for: 10/20/2016
Link: http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digests/H1610200.html#Message:_1

From: Sandy (AKA MsSam)
Subject: October 20th - FREEDOM OF SPEECH WEEK

Joke:
-----CLIP-----
FUNNY GRADUATION SPEECHES
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. - ELLEN DEGENERES

And don't worry if we do not approve of your choices. In our benign self-absorption, I believe we have given you a gift; a particular form of independence, for you do not owe the previous generation anything. Thanks to us, you owe it to the Chinese. - STEPHEN COLBERT

Remember that there's no one way of doing things. You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open. - FRED ARMISEN

Even though, as a class, you are smart, you are still allowed to say, "I don't know." Just because you are in high demand, you are still allowed to say, "Let me get back to you." This will come in handy when your parents ask when you plan to move out of their basement and you answer, "I don't know. Let me get back to you." - AMY POEHLER

Let's talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I.I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don't really know to put this, so I'll be blunt. We broke it. - JON STEWART

From where I stand from an outsider's perspective, here's the truth: You are all nerds, all of you, except here's the difference. You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today . to marry the best-looking amongst you. - MINDY KALING

Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have. - LEWIS BLACK
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-----CLIP-----
THE SNEEZE
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears.

This class would not pray during the commencements - not by choice but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families. The speeches were nice, but they were routine ... until the final speech received a standing ovation.

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then he delivered his speech ... an astounding SNEEZE!

The rest of the students rose immediately to their feet, and in unison they said, "GOD BLESS YOU."

The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future .... with or without the court's approval.

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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter, and Archivist
Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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