The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR JANUARY 2018

TRAFFIC REPORT MENU
1. Welcome And Comments

2. Humor List Staff
3. Contributors' Tips
4. Become A Contributor
5. Traffic Report
6. Contributors' Daily Submission Counts
7. Humor List Goals
8. The 10 Basic Rules
9. Subscribing Instructions
10. Navigating Simplelists
11. Finding the Archives
12. Follow us on Social Media
13. Doug's Traditional Humor Contribution
14. The Humor List Website Navigation

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF: JANUARY 2018
Hi, everyone, this is Sandy (for Doug), with this month's Traffic Report - our sixth month as a subscriber-supported group. Our wonderful contributors continue to break daily posting records with a fury - they are the best!! If you read a post that you particularly liked - a little "fan mail" to the contributor is always welcomed! Just remember to hit the "Reply:" on the email and do not send your personal message to the whole group!

Once a month, during the first part of the month, the Traffic Report is usually posted to the entire humor list. We're doing something a little different - posting the monthly Traffic Report directly to our website and providing everyone a link.

Doug is doing much better, but has been spending his time tweaking programs to be compatible with SimpleLists and catching up with past statistics. With luck, we should see him back at the Traffic Reports next month!!

* Welcoming a new contributor: Hi Verchal (a Hearing-Impaired, VERtically-CHAllenged Leprechaun), known in real life as Earl Hall.

** A very special mention to the 5 Contributors that posted daily for January 2018
     Sandy (AKA MsSam) -11th Consecutive Month
     Admin1 - 5th Consecutive Month
     Roger "ADodger" Hyman - 1st Month
     Paul "PBen" Benoit - 1st Month
     Earl "Hi Verchal" Hall - 1st Month (Became a contributor Jan 2, 2018)

*** The Contributors reached a near record high of 462 posts this month! Here's where our record 462 high puts us (Remember, in the earlier years, they had 100+ contributors!):
01/1997 had 476
01/2018 had 462
01/1996 had 454
04/1997 had 415
02/1997 had 404

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
If you have a complaint or comment regarding the Traffic Report - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us
(This report updated with current information: February 2018)
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THE HUMOR LIST STAFF IS COMPRISED OF: 
Sandy (AKA MsSam): Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop" - admin1@thehumorlist.us
Doug Harter: Assistant Admin, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter - traffic@thehumorlist.us
Maurizio Mariotti: Twitter Account Management - twitter@thehumorlist.us
Bill Edwards: Founder and List-Owner Emeritus 
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** CONTRIBUTORS' TIPS **
HOW ARE "POSTING DAYS" DETERMINED?
Since we stated using SimpleLists as our email service, there have been minor changes to what constitutes a "Posting Day". The time when a Digest is created, as well as switching from Eastern Times to Pacific Times for calculating dates.

1 - Using Pacific Daylight Saving Time (PDT), Digests are created ending at midnight, of contributions posted the following 24 hours. (Usually a date in March through a date in November)

2 - Using Pacific Standard Time (PST), Digests are created ending at 2300 (11:00 PM), of contributions posted the following 24 hours. (Usually a date in November through a date in March) Any post sent between 2300 PST (11:00 PM) and 2400 PST (midnight) will not be included in that day's Digest, and will be counted as contributed the following day.

Because of this "Twilight Zone" between 2300 (11:00 PM) and 2400 (midnight), it is possible for some Digests to contain 2 posts from a contributor with differing dates. Digest's posting dates will trump contributor's calendar dates in those situations.

Most of us set our clocks back 1 hour when Daylight Saving Time ends - but the server we utilize does not. This results in posting times that appearing to change. The best way to save grief and frustration is to use your time zone to calculate equivalent times for 2300 (11:00 PM) and 2400 (midnight) Pacific Standard Time - then don't post during that questionable hour.

Posting times are always included at the bottom of each Digest sent out by SimpleLists.

WHAT ARE THE CURRENT POSTING RESTRICTIONS?
Originally The Humor List "Rules" stated that only 1 post per day was allowed. Since then, that restriction was lifted and multiple posts were allowed. It has been noted that recently some contributors are overly zealous in their desire to share humorous posts - creating massive Digests for subscribers. Doug and I have discussed a reasonable compromise and now have set limits at no more than 3 posts, per email address, per "posting day".

POLITICAL POSTS
While there is nothing specifically restricting the topic of politics in The Rules, the Admin Staff is requesting contributors avoid posting political-oriented jokes, specifically those that are a direct affront to any political party, political ideologies (i.e. Liberals, Conservatives, etc.), or elected officials. We are requesting this moratorium because of the increasing level of complaints we've been receiving. Most subscribers enjoy reading the posts because it's a brief and entertaining escape from the depressing, 24/7 exposure to political news. Contributors and subscribers who wish to read, post or share politically themed items are welcome to do so on the many social media sites designed for just that purpose.

Archive for Tips and Tricks

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BECOME A CONTRIBUTOR
We have the best group of contributors - some posting every day and some posting multiple times daily. If you'd like information on how to join this elite group of merry men (and women) - send one of the Admin staff an email and we'll gladly answer all your questions. Everyone subscribing to The Humor List is encouraged to become a Contributor. Send your humor to thehumorlist@simplelists.com.
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until they can demonstrate an understanding and compliance of The Rules.
- You will not immediately see your posts (if you receive individual postings) until they are approved by Doug or Sandy.
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TRAFFIC REPORT
Total Jokes Submitted This Month (462)
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1 - 19 15 12 13 10 12
#2 14 9 15 13 15 15 17
#3 14 13 15 14 15 15 12
#4 13 13 15 16 13 13 23
#5 19 16 16 28 - - -

Total Contributors Submitting
WEEK SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
#1 - 13 11 10 9 8 8
#2 11 9 11 8 10 10 11
#3 11 10 10 10 10 12 10
#4 10 10 12 12 10 10 13
#5 11 12 11 13 - - -

Statistical Comparisons
  Jan 2018 Dec 2017 Jan 2017 Jan 2016
# Jokes for the Month: 462 391 167 139
# Submission Days for the Month: 31 31 31 31
# Average Jokes Per Day for the Month: 14.9 12.6 5 4
# Highest Joke Count in 1 Day 28 19 N/A N/A
# Highest Contributor Count in 1 Day 13 12 N/A N/A
# Contributors for the Month: 21 18 12 13
# Total Contributors: 23 23 5 7
# New Subscribers for the Month: 3 66 2 3
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 0 0 1 3
# Total Subscribers at end of the Month: 310 307 1461 1477

(1) The past statistics are based on addresses registered to our Listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
(2) While the information was interesting, because of the way mailing programs have become so universal, there's no way to accurately track the number of countries currently receiving The Humor List. We will be discontinuing the reporting of "Countries" in our monthly statistics.
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CONTRIBUTORS' DAILY SUBMISSION COUNTS
* Contributed every day of the available month!.
On the "Daily Submission Counts", although more than one joke may be submitted per day, only one (non-duplicate) submission per day is countable for those totals. Submission dates are currently based upon Pacific Standard Time (2300-2259).
Contributor Posting Order From 01/01/2018 to 01/31/2018
* Sandy (AKA MsSam) 31
* Admin1 31
*  Roger Hyman (ADodger) 31
Paul Benoit (PBen) 31
Earl Hall (Hi Verchal) 30
George Matyjewicz 30
Bill Eagle 30
Maurizio Mariotti (Maury) 23
March Warn 20
Lee Bradley (T.O.P.) 16
Anna Welander 11
Grady Lacy 10
Ray Powell 9
Doug Harter 6
Lanny Julian 5
Mickey Hennigan 3
Larry Randall 3
Jim Mica 2
Phil G 2
1 Submission Each: Traffic Report, Robert (RLB) Bragner
Monthly Data
Yearly Data
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HUMOR GOALS:
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (Subject Line Warning Requirement).
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THE HUMOR LIST 10 BASIC RULES (here's the simplified version):
(1) Seven rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
- Only substantial examples of humor should be posted.
- Discussion, requests, criticisms, questions should not be posted.
- No personal attacks.
- Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII files. No signature file preferred.
- While multiple posts are allowed, limit posts to NO MORE THAN 3 per day.
- NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
- NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

(2) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
- Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
- Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
- A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES ANY OF THESE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: admin1@thehumorlist.us
Full list of Rules: http://thehumorlist.us/rules.htm
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SUBSCRIBING INSTRUCTIONS THROUGH SIMPLELISTS:
1) http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

2) The one-time subscriber fee is now $14.95 for one email address or $19.95 for two email addresses.

3) After payment through PayPal, you will be directed back to the Humor List website. Because PayPal and SIMPLELISTS are not directly connected, there is a second step that must be completed. Please continue by adding your subscription information to the SimpleLists form.

4) One of the factors in deciding to allow SIMPLELISTS to become our new mailing list service was their strict anti-spamming policy. After completing the SIMPLELIST form, you will be sent a "Request to join mailing list thehumorlist@simplelists.com" email with a confirmation link. Be sure to confirm your email address. If a subscriber has not "confirmed" their email address - SIMPLELISTS will not allow us to include their email address for daily mailings.
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NAVIGATING SIMPLELISTS
Effective August 1, 2017, The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SIMPLELISTS. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. You will also find all of this information on every post you receive.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm

TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/

TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link is included on every email that subscribers received.

24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).
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FINDING THE ARCHIVES
These are the current sites for the archives:
Daily Humor Posts, Digests, and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports
Pre-August 2017 (Available to the public)
http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1

Daily Humor Posts
Post-August 2017 (Members only)
https://archives.simplelists.com/thehumorlist
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FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA
The Humor List on Facebook US ON FACEBOOK: 
https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/

FOLLOW US ON The Humor List on Twitter
https://twitter.com/The_Humor_List
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DOUG'S TRADITIONAL HUMOR CONTRIBUTION
And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is # 6 in the Digest for: 02/15/2002
Link: http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/Digests/H0202150.php#Joke6

From: Randall Woodman
Subject: Happy Valentine's Day

Joke:
Here's to Corporate Holidays
This past weekend, I was rushing around trying to do some Valentine's Day shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the weather right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance. As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing.

The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.

Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His Mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children some Valentine's Day presents (since she didn't manage to get them anything on Christmas).

The young boy had been dropped off, by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.

"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.

The boy said, "I did."

"And nobody came to help you?" I queried.

The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I inquired.

The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"

I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help! So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Signed,
Kenneth Lay
Enron CEO
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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist
Submitted in Doug's absence by: Sandy (AKA MsSam) - Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop"
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2018 TRAFFIC REPORTS
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