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Traffic Report For November 2013

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. How to Contribute
  3. Archive Information
  4. Traffic Report
  5. Countries Information
  6. Number Submissions By Hour
  7. Top 15 Contributors
  8. HumorList Information
  9. Subscribing To HumorList
  10. Making Changes By Web
  11. Making Changes By Email
  12. Contribution of Humor
  13. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995

Hi, everyone, this is Doug, with this month's traffic report. Once a month, during the first part of the month, I send the report to the entire HUMOR list. Welcome to the month of November, 2013.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.com On any reports, the totals are for 'days submitted' and not for the actual number of jokes submitted. Submission dates are based upon Eastern Time. Although more than one joke may be submitted per day, for the 'Daily Submission' count, only one submission per day is countable for these totals.

Happy Holidays to all our Contributors and subscribers.


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Anyone subscribing to HumorList may post if they wish. Send your humor
to 



. Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until you can abide by The Rules . You will not see your posts (if you get individual postings) until they are approved. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = These are the current sites for the archives:
  • archive.thehumorlist.com (HTML copies of Digests and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Traffic Report for November 2013 Week Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 7 3 2 3 2 4 4 5 5 5 3 5 5 6 7 5 3 4 4 3 4 8 4 4 2 6 5 3 3 4 7 5 2 5 Nov Oct Nov Nov 2013 2013 2012 2011 # Jokes for the Month: 132 159 235 172 # days of submissions for the Month: 30 31 30 30 # Average Jokes per day for the Month: 4 5 8 6 # Contributors for the Month: 14 14 18 13 # New Subscribers for the Month: 3 2 3 4 # Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 9 12 6 13 # ** Subscribers as of end of the Month: 1555 1561 1669 2130 # Contributors as of end of the Month: 17 17 19 29 # Countries as of end of the month: 44 45 48 53 ** - Only Non-Concealed subscribers The above statistics are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The HumorList is sent daily to the following countries: Argentine, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile, Cocos Islands, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Isreal, Italy, Japan, Luzembourg, Malaysia, Mexico, Micronesia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africia, Sweden, Taiwan, Turkey, Tuvalu, United Kingdom, USA, The countries list is generated from the last part of your email address. If your address doesn't end with a country name, it is assumed to be from the USA. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Number Submissions By Hour -------------------------- 00 to 11 1 2 1 1 1 0 13 13 5 14 8 6 12 to 23 13 5 7 4 7 12 7 5 3 3 0 2 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And now, the Top 15 Contributors. This will show you which Contributors are sending the most contributions of Humor each month. Those who are posting every day are noted. Top 14 Contributors from 11/1/2013 to 11/30/2013 Contributor # Posts *Paul Benoit 28 George Matyjewicz 26 Maurizio Mariotti 18 Lee Bradley 13 Phil G. 10 Grady Lacy 8 Stan Kegel 4 Richard 4 Lanny Julian 4 Joe Whalen 4 rlb 1 Wendell Gragg 1 Renaud OLGIATI 1 Mickey Hennigan 1 * - Contributed Every Digest/Day Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The Humor staff is comprised of: Sandy (AKA Ms Sam), Administrator and Support
    Doug Harter, Assistant Admin, Archivist and Traffic Reporter
    Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus HUMOR GOALS A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor. A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects. Freedom of expression for contributors. Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning requirement). HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version) Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor. Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive. One contribution per day. Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted. Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted. No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions. Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max). Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or sig file. A contributor who violates the rules may be suspended. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Subscribe to The Humor List by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Subscribing to Humorlist' and filling in the information. OR Sending an email to
    with 'subscribe' (no quotes) in the Subject or Body of the email. Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Making Changes by The Web Each Subscriber gets a Membership Configuration Page where you must sign in with the password you were given when you subscribed. You get to it by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Unsubscribe or edit options' (Under 'Humorlist Subscribers') and filling in your email address. This will take you to another page where you enter your password to get to your Membership Configuration Page. Here are some things that may be done on that page: o Unsubscribe from HumorList o Turn Mail Delivery On/Off o Turn Digest On/Off (Off sends individual postings). o Set a Name for your email address o Change your email address o Change your password 0 Get a password reminder Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You may also make changes by Email by sending an email to
    with one of the following in the Subject or Body of the email (words in () are not needed, they just explain what you can do): o unsubscribe (from HumorList) o set show (Show your current option settings) o help (Returns help on email commands) o set help (Returns help on the Set options) o password (Returns your current password) There are several other things which may be done, but they require that you include your password in the email. Use these options with caution. o password oldpassword newpassword (Changes password) The following must be preceded by the following command: set authenticate password (password is the password you got when you subscribed) o set digest plain (Get Digests in plain text format) o set digest mime (Get Digests in MIME format) o set digest off (Get individual postings o set delivery off (Stops postings or Digests) o set delivery on (Starts postings or Digests again) o set reminders off (Turns off monthly password reminder) o set reminders on (Turns on monthly password reminder) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of all Digests, it will point to the joke itself. My contribution of Humor from the Archives:
    • This joke is joke # 7 in the Digest For 12/21/1999
    • The title of the Joke is: Some Seasonal Puns
    From: Stan Kegel
    Subject:Some Seasonal Puns
    
    
            It was Chanukah and the Tiny Village was in fear of not having any
    latkes because they had run out of flour. Rudi, the Rabbi was called
    upon to help solve the problem. He said, "Don't worry. You can
    substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"
    
            Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Morty...you think it'll work?"
    
            "Of course! As everybody knows...Rudolph, the Reb, knows grain, dear!""
    
    
    
            I was travelling to Seattle on business. Knowing how the weather is up
    there (and lacking the proper clothing), I went to a local outdoor shop
    for a inclement weather clothing. Not finding what I was looking for, I
    went to another. Then another. Finally, a salesman suggested that I go
    to Rudolph's.
    
            "Rudolph's?" I said, surprised. "Do you mean the Russian specialty store?"
    
            To which the salesman answered, "Rudolph the Red know rain gear."  (By
    Dave Christian)
    
    
    
            Once Horace Gold [my editor] went too far. He rejected a story of mine
    which he called "meretricious." The word is from the Latin meretrix,
    meaning "prostitute," so that the implication was that I was
    prostituting my talent and was writing a bad story that would get by on
    my name alone because I was too lazy to write a good one. (This was not
    true, by the way. This particular story was sold elsewhere and received
    considerable acclaim.)
    
            Swallowing my annoyance, I said mildly, "What was that word you used?"
    
            Obviously proud at knowing a word he felt I didn't know, Horace
    enunciated carefully, "Meretricious!"
    
            Whereupon I said, "And a Happy New Year to you." (By Isaac Asimov)
    
    
    
            This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long
    line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As
    I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all the others. I
    knew my friend had no daughters or young relatives, so I figured he must
    like the dolls himself.
    
            "Bill," I said going up to him, "I didn't know you were a collector!"
    
            "I'm not," he replied.
    
            "Oh," I said, "You're buying a gift, then."
    
            "No, not at all," my friend responded.
    
            "If you don't mind my asking then Bill," I said, "Why are you standing
    in this line?"
    
            "Oh that," he answered. "It's like this," my friend stated, . . .
    "I've never been able to resist a barbie queue!"
    
    
    
            Little Wendy is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up
    on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas"?
    
            Little Wendy replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe".
    
            Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie
    comes with Ken".
    
            "No", said Wendy, "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken"
    
    
    
            I have a friend named Stanley Chan who owns a Chinese bistro. The other
    day I was there and Michael Hart came by. He started to come over to see
    me, but just as he got near me, he tripped and fell toward me; I had to
    jump over him in order to avoid getting knocked down myself.
    
            That's right: I leapt Mike Hart in Stan Chan's Bistro. (By Perfect Tommy)
    
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    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archiver
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    UPDATED: 1/8/2014