Traffic Report For September 2013
If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: email@example.com On any reports, the totals are for 'days submitted' and not for the actual number of jokes submitted. Submission dates are based upon Eastern Time. Although more than one joke may be submitted per day, for the 'Daily Submission' count, only one submission per day is countable for these totals.
The number of jokes per day has been down the last couple months. It is probably because the number of contributors is also lower. Come on people, it is not hart to send in jokes. All you have to do is send them. Even some of our inactive contributors need to do it. (I am urging one of our most prolific contributors here, I know you are on FB, get back to us.)
For those of you who do want to send jokes, look at The Rules on our website, www.thehumorlist.com. If you haven't contributed before, once your jokes are submitted, it might be a couple days until they are approved, since new contibutors's jokes must meet The Rules.
Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Anyone subscribing to HumorList may post if they wish. Send your humor to
Doug Harter, Assistant Admin, Archivist and Traffic Reporter
Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus HUMOR GOALS A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor. A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects. Freedom of expression for contributors. Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning requirement). HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version) Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor. Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive. One contribution per day. Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted. Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted. No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions. Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max). Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or sig file. A contributor who violates the rules may be suspended. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Subscribe to The Humor List by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Subscribing to Humorlist' and filling in the information. OR Sending an email to
with 'subscribe' (no quotes) in the Subject or Body of the email. Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Making Changes by The Web Each Subscriber gets a Membership Configuration Page where you must sign in with the password you were given when you subscribed. You get to it by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Unsubscribe or edit options' (Under 'Humorlist Subscribers') and filling in your email address. This will take you to another page where you enter your password to get to your Membership Configuration Page. Here are some things that may be done on that page: o Unsubscribe from HumorList o Turn Mail Delivery On/Off o Turn Digest On/Off (Off sends individual postings). o Set a Name for your email address o Change your email address o Change your password 0 Get a password reminder Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You may also make changes by Email by sending an email to
with one of the following in the Subject or Body of the email (words in () are not needed, they just explain what you can do): o unsubscribe (from HumorList) o set show (Show your current option settings) o help (Returns help on email commands) o set help (Returns help on the Set options) o password (Returns your current password) There are several other things which may be done, but they require that you include your password in the email. Use these options with caution. o password oldpassword newpassword (Changes password) The following must be preceded by the following command: set authenticate password (password is the password you got when you subscribed) o set digest plain (Get Digests in plain text format) o set digest mime (Get Digests in MIME format) o set digest off (Get individual postings o set delivery off (Stops postings or Digests) o set delivery on (Starts postings or Digests again) o set reminders off (Turns off monthly password reminder) o set reminders on (Turns on monthly password reminder) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of all Digests, it will point to the joke itself. My contribution of Humor from the Archives:
From: Paul Benoit Subject:How Many.... <adult, off. to lawyers, women> Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb... -------------------------------- Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. -------------------------------- Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark. -------------------------------- Q: How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder. -------------------------------- Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: 1) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable. 2) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes. 3) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership." ******************************************************* "If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared not only to retract it, but also to deny under oath that I ever said it." --T. Lehrer ------------------------------= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archiver
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