Traffic Report For April 2013
If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: firstname.lastname@example.org On any reports, the totals are for 'days submitted' and not for the actual number of jokes submitted. Submission dates are based upon Eastern Time. Although more than one joke may be submitted per day, for the 'Daily Submission' count, only one submission per day is countable for these totals.
I am really sorry to all the subscribers for the slowness of updating everything. I lost my hard drive on March 20. The main problem was when I got it back, I also upgraded to Windows 7. It took me until the end of May to get necessary files back from the old hard drive, upgrade necessary programs, and get the program that does all this back in shape. I can't work on all that 24/7.
I will start about the end of May and get the Digests and Traffic Reports for each month out a week at a time. I should be back up-to-date by the end of June. Until then you will be seeing this every month in the Traffic Report.
Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Anyone subscribing to HumorList may post if they wish. Send your humor to
Doug Harter, Assistant Admin, Archivist and Traffic Reporter
Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus HUMOR GOALS A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor. A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects. Freedom of expression for contributors. Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning requirement). HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version) Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor. Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive. One contribution per day. Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted. Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted. No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions. Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max). Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or sig file. A contributor who violates the rules may be suspended. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Subscribe to The Humor List by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Subscribing to Humorlist' and filling in the information. OR Sending an email to
with 'subscribe' (no quotes) in the Subject or Body of the email. Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Making Changes by The Web Each Subscriber gets a Membership Configuration Page where you must sign in with the password you were given when you subscribed. You get to it by going to The Humor List Mailing Group , scrolling down to 'Unsubscribe or edit options' (Under 'Humorlist Subscribers') and filling in your email address. This will take you to another page where you enter your password to get to your Membership Configuration Page. Here are some things that may be done on that page: o Unsubscribe from HumorList o Turn Mail Delivery On/Off o Turn Digest On/Off (Off sends individual postings). o Set a Name for your email address o Change your email address o Change your password 0 Get a password reminder Back to Top - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You may also make changes by Email by sending an email to
with one of the following in the Subject or Body of the email (words in () are not needed, they just explain what you can do): o unsubscribe (from HumorList) o set show (Show your current option settings) o help (Returns help on email commands) o set help (Returns help on the Set options) o password (Returns your current password) There are several other things which may be done, but they require that you include your password in the email. Use these options with caution. o password oldpassword newpassword (Changes password) The following must be preceded by the following command: set authenticate password (password is the password you got when you subscribed) o set digest plain (Get Digests in plain text format) o set digest mime (Get Digests in MIME format) o set digest off (Get individual postings o set delivery off (Stops postings or Digests) o set delivery on (Starts postings or Digests again) o set reminders off (Turns off monthly password reminder) o set reminders on (Turns on monthly password reminder) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of all Digests, it will point to the joke itself. My contribution of Humor from the Archives:
From: Sandy - AKA Ms Sam Subject:October 31st - Halloween Today is the 305th day of the year, with only 61 days remaining in 2004. =20 October 31st - Halloween The word Halloween actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. In = the 7th century the church celebrated All Saints' Day in May, but by the 9th century the = date had been changed to November 1st. Another name for All Saints' Day was All Hallows' Eve, = which was later shortened to Halloween. In the 10th century the church named November = 2nd as All Souls' Day in memory of all dead souls. Halloween, All Saints' Day, and All = Souls' Day come so close together and are so similar that in some countries they tend to = merge together. =20 Since this is the time for goblins and bats,=20 Halloween spirits and ghosts and cats, Weird happenings and witches brew, These are the things I wish for you: May the only ghost that comes to stay, Be the Holy Ghost to guide your way. May the only spirit you chance to meet,=20 =20 Be the spirit of love and warm friends sweet, =20 May the only tricks=20 you are asked to do,=20 =20 Be the trick of getting a friend or two. =20 Happy Halloween, All Soul's Day and All Saint's Day! =20 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ =20 TOP 18 LEAST POPULAR HORROR MOVIES 18 Tapeworm! 17 The Texas Chainsaw Macarena 16 Dorf on Beating Someone to Death With a Golf Club 15 Invasion of the Potty Snatchers 14 Iraqnophobia 13 Mittens Visits the Asthma Ward 12 Mr. Dole Goes to Washington 11 101 Mutilations 10 Attack of the Receding Hairline 9 The Island of Dr. Perot 8 An American Werewolf in Therapy 7 Winnie The Pooh In Tigger's Stew 6 First Wives Clubbed 5 The Miami Beach Chainsaw Massacre: "That shrub's gotta go!" 4 You're an Axe Murderer, Charlie Brown 3 The Methane Monsters of Fraternity Row 2 April The 15th - Jason's Audit =20 and the Number 1 Least Popular Horror Movie... 1 She's Wearing White After Labor Day! =20 [ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ] [ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ] [ The Top Five List email@example.com www.topfive.com ] =20 =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =20 BIRTHDAYS: ACTING -=20 1912 Dale Evans, cowgirl (Roy Rogers Show)=20 1931 Dan Rather, news anchor (CBS Evening News, 60 Minutes)=20 1937 Michael Landon, actor (Bonanza, Highway to Heaven)=20 1942 David Ogden Stiers, actor (Winchester-M*A*S*H, Doc)=20 1947 Deidre Hall, actress (Days of our Life, Our House)=20 1950 John Candy, comedian (SCTV, Uncle Buck)=20 1950 Jane Pauley, newscaster (Today, NBC Weekend)=20 =20 ARTISTIC -=20 1795 John Keats, romantic poet (Ode to a Grecian Urn)=20 =20 HISTORIC -=20 1860 Juliette Gordon Low, Girl Scout founder=20 1887 Chiang Kai-shek, President of Nationalist China=20 1888 Sir George Hubert Wilkins, polar explorer (Flying the Arctic)=20 1923 Hicks B Waldron, CEO (Avon)=20 =20 MUSIC -=20 1937 Tom Paxton, folk singer/songwriter (Forest Lawn)=20 1966 Ad-Rock [Adam Horowitz], rocker (Beastie Boys-You Gotta Fight)=20 1968 Vanilla Ice [Robert Van Winkle], rapper (Ice Ice Baby)=20 =20 SCIENCE -=20 1815 Karl Weierstrass, mathematician (theory of functions)=20 1930 Michael Collins, Mjr Gen USAF/astronaut (Gemini 10, Apollo 11)=20 1949 Terrence W Wilcutt, Major USMC/astronaut=20 =20 SPORTS -=20 1902 Willie Shaw, race car driver (Indy 500-1937, 39, 40)=20 1947 Frank Shorter, US, marathon runner (Olympic-gold-1972)=20 1953 John Lucas NBA guard (Houston Rockets, Milwaukee Bucks)=20 =20 Sandy (AKA Ms Sam) Jest-A-Day Journal http://jestaday.com ------------------------------= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archiver
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