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Traffic Report For February 2012

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Archive Information
  3. Traffic Report
  4. Countries Information
  5. Number Submissions by Hour
  6. Top 15 Contributors
  7. HumorList Information
  8. Contribution of Humor
  9. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995

Hi, everyone, this is Doug, with this month's traffic report. Once a month, during the first part of the month, I send the report to the entire HUMOR list. Welcome to the month of February, 2012.

Looks like the number of jokes is up from what it was a year ago. Good job, Contributors.


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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Subscribe to the UGA Humor List by sending an e-mail to
listserv@listserv.uga.edu and in the BODY of the e-mail put:
sub humor Joe Smith   (Use your name instead of Joe Smith)
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
These are the current sites for the archives:
  • archive.thehumorlist.com (HTML copies of Digests and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Traffic Report for February 2012 Week Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 7 5 5 6 2 5 6 5 8 4 7 5 3 5 6 5 5 7 6 7 4 5 7 9 6 5 5 7 5 7 7 8 5 Feb Jan Feb Feb 2012 2012 2011 2010 # Jokes for the Month: 176 195 130 193 # days of submissions for the Month: 29 31 28 28 # Average Jokes per day for the Month: 6 6 5 7 # Contributors for the Month: 12 14 12 13 # New Subscribers for the Month: 6 5 9 13 # Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 16 26 21 18 # ** Subscribers as of end of the Month: 2105 2109 2204 2386 # Contributors as of end of the Month: 30 29 30 31 # Countries as of end of the month: 53 53 53 56 ** - Only Non-Concealed subscribers The above statistics are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include concealed/non-concealed subscribers Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The HumorList is sent daily to the following countries: Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile, Cocos (Keeling) Islands, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Lebanon, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Mauritius, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Romania, Russian Federation, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Soviet Union, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Tonga, Turkey, Tuvalu, USA, The countries list is generated from the last part of your email address. If your address doesn't end with a country name, it is assumed to be from the USA. Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Number Submissions By Hour -------------------------- 00 to 11 32 2 3 1 2 6 9 27 11 4 4 1 12 to 23 11 21 9 4 3 5 7 3 5 1 2 2 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And now, the Top 15 Contributors. This will show you which Contributors are sending the most contributions of Humor each month. Those who are posting every day are noted. Top 12 Contributors from 2/1/2012 to 2/29/2012 Contributor # Posts *Paul Benoit 29 *Bill Stebbins 29 Sandy (AKA MsSam) 28 Maurizio Mariotti 24 Mickey Hennigan 20 Phil G. 17 Stan Kegel 6 Richard 6 Topolski, Leonard P. 5 Lee Bradley 3 Gerry Skau 3 Emko Witteveen 3 * - Contributed Every Digest/Day Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The Humor staff is comprised of: Jay Harman, Listowner
    and temporary Examiner & Rules Enforcer
    Doug Harter, Archivist and Traffic Reporter
    Sandy (AKA Ms Sam), Member Projects Coordinator
    Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus HUMOR GOALS A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor. A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects. Freedom of expression for contributors. Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning requirement). HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version) Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor. Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive. One contribution per day. Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted. Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted. No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions. Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max). Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or sig file. A contributor who violates the rules may be suspended. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = To Subscribe to the Humor List: Send an e-mail to:
    leave the subject area blank; in the BODY of the letter, type: SUB HUMOR yourfirstname yourlastname - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A few of the more widely used commands: Send an e-mail to:
    leave the subject area blank; in the BODY of the letter, type: GET HUMOR GUIDE become a contributor QUERY HUMOR check your settings SIGNOFF HUMOR leave the main list (unsubscribe) SIGNOFF HUMOR-P leave the contributor's list SET HUMOR NOMAIL stop all mail for a temporary period SET HUMOR MAIL receive humor as it is posted SET HUMOR DIGEST daily collections of humor (default) SET HUMOR CONCEAL conceal your address from spammers Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of all Digests, it will point to the joke itself. My contribution of Humor from the Archives:
    • This joke is joke # 4 in the Digest For 3/2/2000
    • The title of the Joke is: Prayers of Children
    From: Les Pourciau
    Subject:Prayers of Children
    
    
     A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
     as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible
     class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't
     let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
     late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on
     a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing
     her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
     started running again. As she ran she once again began
     to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be
     late!...But don't shove me either."
     --------------------------------------------------------------------------
     One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer: "Now I
     lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test,
     If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I
     have to take."
     --------------------------------------------------------------------------
     A little boy's prayer: "Dear God, please take care of
     my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and
     my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself,
     God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a
     big mess."
     --------------------------------------------------------------------------
     A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night.
     "Dear God, thank you for these pancakes..."  When he
     concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God
     for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled
     and said, "I thought I'd see if He was paying
     attention tonight."
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
     Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
     After a while he emerged and informed his mother that
     he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine",
     said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you
     not misbehave, He will help you." "Oh, I didn't ask
     Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked
     Him to help you put up with me."
     --------------------------------------------------------------------------
     A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned
     that his students might be a little confused about
     Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis
     on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood
     that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked
     his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his
     hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on
     and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny,
     waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I
     know! He's in our bathroom!!!"  The whole class got very
     quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a
     response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a
     few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits
     and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little
     Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up,
     bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are
     you still in there?!"
    
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    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Doug Harter, Traffic Reporter and Archiver
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    UPDATED: 1/11/2013