Traffic Report for July 1997

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. Contribution of Humor
  5. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by

1997 is now 2/3 of the way over.
Do you know where YOUR HUMOR list owners are?

Hi, everyone.  This is Jim, with this week's, er, month's Traffic Report.
I send this message to the contributors of the HUMOR list every week, and
on the first Sunday of the month, I send the numbers to the entire list.
First off, in the past few months I have been a bit lax in my duties, for
which I humbly apologize to the entire list.  I will be on vacation for the
next couple of weeks, but as soon as I return, I will be much more vigilant
about updating the HUMOR website and keeping the traffic report up-to-date,
sending the reports out the way I did when I first took over this job.  I
learned my lesson this morning, when my hard disk crashed, and I needed to
reboot all of my files from scratch.  It is for this reason that there is a
possibility that the numbers listed here for the subscribers and
contributors may not be wholly accurate for the "1 Week Ago" line.
Furthermore, if you sent me an email in the past week, and I didn't answer
it, it has been lost, and I therefore request that you send it to me again.

One issue that seems to be coming up every once in a while, is people are
receiving notices from the listserver that they need to renew their
subscription to the list, but then when they try to respond to the renewal
request, they receive a message that says that they are not subscribed to
the HUMOR list.

The instructions say to reply to the message with the command SUB HUMOR.
The problem lies in one of two areas: the first is that there is a
communications gap between your email software and the listserver software
that does not recognize that SUB is a shortened version of the command
SUBSCRIBE.  The second possibility is that the listserver cannot match your
name to your email address.

If you get a renewal request, and you follow the directions exactly, but
still receive a rejection notice, we ask that you do exactly what you did
to subscribe to the list in the first place.  Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU
the command (in the body of the email, not the subject) SUBSCRIBE HUMOR
firstname lastname.

Should you continue to have problems with this, feel free to email me or
Jay Harman ( and we'll manually renew your

This procedure ONLY applies to receiving the list itself.  If you are a
contributor and receive a request to renew your subscription to HUMOR-P
(the contributors' list), you must go through either me or Larry Randall
(  As of right now, all mail to Larry is
bouncing back, because he is going through an email conversion.  Larry is
also the person in charge of granting new people the right to become
posters.  Be patient with this; everything should be working with Larry
again by the end of this week.

And here's an added nugget of information for those of you who might be
interested in this.  The most recent update of my Traffic Report that I had
at my disposal was posted two weeks ago.  I was able to piece together the
numbers of posts each day since then (up to and including today) by sending
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command INDEX HUMOR.  This will give a list of
all of the available archives of the list's traffic.  So I got the current
NOTEBOOK and the most recent complete LOG and manually counted each day's
postings.  If you miss something, and want to search HUMOR's archives
(which purge themselves approximately every six months...) use this
command.  Each log is at least 3000 lines long.  In the time before it
becomes a log, it is in the archives as the notebook.

I'm going to miss the next two week's worth of traffic reports, as I will
be on vacation, but I'll be back, fully rested, and with a much more
consistent tan.  I'm actually going to be leaving this coming Thursday, so
if you have any questions between now and then, feel free to email me at, visit my home page at, or visit HUMOR's website at

I'll see those of you who are contributors in a couple o' weeks, and all of
you next month!

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               Traffic Report for HUMOR, 27 July - 2 August
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

  27  Sunday          6        8        4        7       12
  28  Monday         12       16       13       12       16
  29  Tuesday        16       12       10        9       12
  30  Wednesday      10        9        8       10       15
  31  Thursday       16       13       12       15        5
   1  Friday          8       12       11       11        9
   2  Saturday        6        7        6        6        5

   Average          10.6     11.0      9.1     10.0     10.6

Subscriptions      9,877    9,844    9,797    9,742    9,589
Countries            100      100      100      100      100
Contributors         805      807      811      813      816

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.

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HUMOR is dispatched daily to the following countries:

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Belgium,
Belize, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile,
China, Colombia, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, Cyprus, Czech
Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Estonia, Federal Republic
of Yugoslavia, Fiji,
Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Guatemala,
Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel,
Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Korea, Kuwait, Latvia,
Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mauritius,
Mexico, Moldova, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Netherlands, New Zealand,
Northern Ireland, Norway, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal,
Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Singapore, Slovakia, South
Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Suriname, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand,
Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates,
Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Zambia, Zimbabwe

                             Total countries: 100
                    Email me if your country is not listed here.
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And now for my usual contribution of humor:
Subject:  Makes you wonder if anyone else got caught...

Excerpted from the book _Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest,_ (c) 1996 by John J Kohut
and Roland Sweet

After nine police officers on a narcotics raid at an apartment building in
Coventry, England, squeezed into an elevator made for eight, it stalled.
The officers wound up being trapped for 45 minutes until resident Eddie
Laidle heard their cries for help.  "I told them I would get the police,"
he said, "and they shouted, 'We are the bloody police -- get the fire
brigade!' "

   Jim Goldman,  HUMOR list Traffic Reporter and Webmaster
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1997 Indexes

January February March April
May June July August
September October November December
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