Traffic Report for May 1997

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. Contribution of Humor
  5. Month Index
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This is Jim, and I sure have been quiet lately.

It is my responsibility to keep track of the traffic coursing daily
through the Internet converging on the HUMOR list.  Once a week, I let
all of the contributors know what's going on (and I exploit my position
to help keep the contributors as in-line as possible.)  Once a month --
I have chosen the first Sunday of each month -- I send the numbers to the
entire list.  (So I can keep *everybody* in line.)

And June of 1997 (if you follow this calendar) has begun.  Three weeks
ago I announced that I would be moving, and therefore found myself off the
Internet until early this week.  I would like to take this time to publicly
thank Jay Harman, fellow listowner and HUMOR's error handler,for picking up
the slack while I changed my physical, geographic locale.  I am now fully
recovered from the move, and partially recovered from the housewarming bash
I threw last night.  (There will be more in the future, and you're all
hereby formally invited.  We can always set up another cot for you.)

I was lucky.  I moved, and didn't need to change my email address
(, my personal home page address
( or HUMOR's website
(  I realize, as we in the
Northern Hemisphere approach Summer, and as we in the Southern Hemisphere
approach Winter, that many people will be losing email and internet access,
either because they'll be moving somewhere else, as I did, or because
school is letting out, or because they plan on taking that two-to-three
month (well-deserved, of course) vacation from work.

So if any of these scenarios applies to you, how about thanking Jay on my
behalf (and on behalf of the entire list), by taking the time to sign off
of the list before you leave?  Send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
SIGNOFF HUMOR.  When you come back, you can easily resubscribe by sending
that same address the command SUBSCRIBE HUMOR followed by your full name.
(This procedure also works if you're changing email addresses.)  We'll
leave the light on for you.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me.  I should be back into
the swing of things more thoroughly as the week progresses. And I'll be
back next month with the July report.

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               Traffic Report for HUMOR, 25 May - 31 May
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

  25  Sunday          6        9        9        8       10
  26  Monday         12       13       11       13       12
  27  Tuesday        13       12       11        8       10
  28  Wednesday      15       12        9       13       14
  29  Thursday       12        8       15       17       18
  30  Friday         11       18       17       12       15
  31  Saturday        7        7        5       15        5

   Average          10.9     11.3     11.0     12.3     12.0

Subscriptions     10,478   10,342   10,301   10,290   10,222
Countries            100      100      101      101      100
Contributors         843      846      858      851      792

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.

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             HUMOR is dispatched daily to the following countries:

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belarus, Belgium, Belize,
Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia,
Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark,
Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Estonia, Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, Fiji,
Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Guatemala,
Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy,
Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Korea, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon,
Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova,
Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Northern Ireland,
Norway, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia,
Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka,
Suriname, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey,
Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Zambia,

                              Total countries: 100
                  Email me if your country is not listed here.
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And now for my usual contribution of humor:
Subject:  The *real* way to plan zero population growth

Excerpted from the book _Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest,_ (c) 1996 by John J Kohut
and Roland Sweet

In China, 404 people died and 1028 were injured in traffic accidents during
the first year's operation of a 164-mile expressway linking Beijing and
Shijiazhuang.  Authorities blamed the high fatality rate on a middle lane
that allows cars on both sides of the road to pass, making head-on
collisions almost inevitable if two drivers going in opposite directions
decide to pass at the same time.

   Jim Goldman,  HUMOR list Traffic Reporter and Webmaster
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1997 Indexes

January February March April
May June July August
September October November December
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