Traffic Report for February 1996

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. HumorList Information
  5. Contribution of Humor
  6. Commonly Used ListServ Commands
  7. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by

Hi, everyone!  This is Jim, with the traffic report.  Once a month
I share it with the entire list.  I have great news for the HUMOR
list this week, too.  I was on a very tight deadline (self-imposed,
mind you) to have everything in order by the time I send this out
to you, and, I am pleased to say that, as I type these words
HUMOR's new website is fully functional and operational.  The URL

What, you may be asking yourself, is the purpose of this website?
It contains an overview of the list on the main page, plus a
hypertext version of the HUMOR GUIDE (which you can still get by
links (including the home pages of contributors.  Note to all
contributors: if you have a home page and would like to be linked,
let me know...), a sampling of posts over the course of the week,
and, of course, the weekly traffic report.

I have been discussing the possibility of creating this page with
Bill Edwards since I first set up my own home page last year.
Early this week, I informed the contributors that the prototype
version of the website of its existence.  To all who visited
earlier this week, you will notice MANY changes to it, style-wise,
since you last visited.

And I would like to keep the page open for suggestions.  If you
feel as though something belongs on there, but is not there -- let
me know.  I'll see what I can do about putting it on.  I have
mentioned this to Bill, but this should come as a surprise to the
other listowners.  I want to know the desires of the entire list on
this one.  Would you like to see what the four of us listowners
look like?  (You can already see a picture of me by following a
less-than-visible path from my home page.)  But would you like to
see .gifs (no nudes, ladies.  Sorry.) of me, Bill, Paul, and Larry?

As always, I'm here for you, so if you have any questions, you can
email me at, visit my own home page at OR visit the HUMOR home page at
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            Traffic Report for HUMOR, 25 February - 2 March
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

 25  Sunday          10        7        8       11        5
 26  Monday          18       10       20       19       21
 27  Tuesday         17       15       19       17       23
 28  Wednesday       22       18       20       18       16
 29  Thursday        15       16       17       17       12
  1  Friday          13       15       19       15       10
  2  Saturday         7        9        8        8       10

  Averages          14.6     12.9     15.9     15.0     13.9

Subscriptions       9,296    9,367    9,394    9,531    9,583
Countries             69       69       69       73       73
Contributors         714      727      728      728      737

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.
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Here is a list of all non-concealed countries receiving HUMOR.  If
your country is not listed here, email me.

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Belize, Brazil,
Bulgaria, Canada, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Czech
Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Fiji, Finland, France,
Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Hongkong, Hungary, Iceland,
India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Korea,
Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia,
Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Mozambique, Netherlands, New Zealand,
Northern Ireland, Norway, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland,
Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi-Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South
Africa, Soviet Union, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand,
Turkey, United Arab Emirates, USA, Venezuela

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The purpose of the Posters list is to protect our readers from
careless, quarrelsome, and selfish contributors. To become a
member request the instructions by sending the command GET HUMOR

** The following are the goals of HUMOR:

  To provide a daily average of 10-20 substantial examples of
  To provide a diversity of humor: sources, forms, and subjects.
  To provide freedom of expression for contributors and protection
  of sensitivities for readers.

** The following are the brief version of HUMOR's rules:

1) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
   Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
   Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
   A contributor who violates rules may be suspended.

2) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
   Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
   Discussion, requests, and criticisms should not be posted
   One contribution per day.
   No personal attacks, no apologies, and no reactions.
   Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines
   (99 lines max).
   Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII art.
   No signature file.

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And now for my usual contribution of humor:

Subject:  It's the size that counts 

   Swallowing his pride, Fred finally made an appointment with
the great foreign specialist and told him he wanted his penis
enlarged.  After examining him, the doctor prescribed a bottle
of pills.  "Every time you take one, say 'Wee,'" the doctor
instructed solemnly, "and you penis will actually grow."
   Fred was barely out of the parking lot before he popped ten of
the pills.  Unfortunately he was so excited that he lost control
of the car, and as it plunged over a cliff his squeal of terror --
"Weeeeeee" was heard loud and clear.
  Not long afterwards, a couple was driving down the same road.
"Look, honey," observed the woman, "there's the hairiest telephone
pole I've ever seen."

Jim Goldman, Traffic Reporter and Webmaster
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To leave the contributors list send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the
To leave HUMOR send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
To subscribe send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
SUBSCRIBE HUMOR Call-name FamilyName.

A command goes in the 1st line of the message field.
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1996 Indexes

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May June July August
September October November December
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