Traffic Report for January 1996

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. HumorList Information
  5. Contribution of Humor
  6. Commonly Used ListServ Commands
  7. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by

Hi everyone!  This is Jim, the traffic reporter for the HUMOR list.
It is my responsibility to track the number of daily posts to the
list, and the number of subscribers, and keep a record of them.
Once a month I send the numbers to the entire list.

In the last month, we have seen the number of subscribers grow by
more than one thousand.  This is due, in part, to the fact that we
were mentioned on the "how to surf the internet list" TOURBUS
(TOURBUS@LISTSERV.AOL.COM) by Patrick Crispen.  I would like to
take this moment to thank him for his mention of us.  I would like
to make one minor clarification to his article.  He stated that, to
become a contributor, you must pass a "test" of your humor.

It is not incorrect that there is a short exam to become a
contributor, however, we do not test your sense of humor.  We just
want to make sure a potential contributor understands the rules of
posting, and is aware that a violation of the rules (summarized
below) can be cause for suspension. If you are interested in
becoming a contributor, send

Earlier this week, there was an alert about someone SPAMMING the
list, seemingly at random.  I do not have the right to remove
someone who got your name from this list because he or she sent you
a piece of unsolicited email.  There are several ways, however, of
protecting yourself.

This first way can be applied to any mailing list running
LISTSERV software.  If you send the listserver (in our case,
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU) the command SET the mailing list (HUMOR,
or for contributors, HUMOR-P) CONCEAL your email address is safe
from anyone who would try to get into the list, and see who,
exactly, receives the list.

Also, most service providers do not look kindly upon their users
sending other people unsolicited email.  If you forward the
unsolicited email, headers included, back to the provider from
which the SPAM originated (usually SUPPORT@whatever the domain of
the email is.  In the case of America Online, the email address is, some form of "punishment" will be incurred.
The SPAM which a subscriber received that initiated the alert saw
its sender removed from that system.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me
at, or visit my web page at  Have a great day!
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            Traffic Report for HUMOR, 28 January - 3 February
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

 28  Sunday           7        7        8       12       10
 29  Monday           5       10       22       21       18
 30  Tuesday          9       10       18       20       17
 31  Wednesday       13       11       17       14       22
  1  Thursday        15       14       18       15       15
  2  Friday           8       15       10       24       13
  3  Saturday         4       12        6        7        7

  Averages           8.7     11.3     14.1     16.1     14.6

Subscriptions       8,042    8,137    8,246    9,181    9,296
Countries             68       68       68       70       69
Contributors         665      690      694      708      714
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Here is a list of the non-concealed countries subscribing to HUMOR
(if your country is not listed here, please let me know):

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria,
Canada, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Czech Republic,
Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Fiji, Finland, France, Germany,
Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Hongkong, Hungary, Iceland, India,
Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Korea, Kuwait,
Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico,
Mozambique, Netherlands, New Zealand, Northern Ireland, Norway,
Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi-Arabia,
Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Soviet Union, Spain, Sweden,
Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, USA,

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.
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The purpose of the Posters list is to protect our readers from
careless, quarrelsome, and selfish contributors. To become a
member request the instructions by sending the command GET HUMOR

** The following are the goals of HUMOR:

To provide a daily average of 10-20 substantial examples of humor.
To provide a diversity of humor: sources, forms, and subjects.
To provide freedom of expression for contributors and protection
   of sensitivities for readers.

** The following are the brief version of HUMOR's rules:

1) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
     Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
     Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
     A contributor who violates rules may be suspended.

2) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
   Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
   Discussion, requests, and criticisms should not be posted
   One contribution per day.
   No personal attacks, no apologies, and no reactions.
   Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max)
   Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII art.
   No signature file.

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And now for my usual contribution of humor:

Subject:  Rough and Ready?

"Where did you get all these ugly bruises on your hips?" asked
the doctor of the young woman.

"We were... uh... you know, having sex, and..." she stuttered,

"Hmmm, I see," said the doctor, as he gave the sore spots a
closer inspection.  "Please take my advice and switch positions
for a couple of weeks until these bruises heal a bit."

"Oh, doctor, must I?" pleaded the woman.  "My horse's breath

Jim Goldman, Traffic Reporter
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To leave the contributors list:

To leave HUMOR send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command

To subscribe send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
SUBSCRIBE HUMOR Call-name FamilyName.

A command goes in the 1st line of the message field.

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