Traffic Report for December 1995

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. HumorList Information
  5. Contribution of Humor
  6. Commonly Used ListServ Commands
  7. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by

Hello everyone and welcome to 1996!  This is Jim, with this week's
traffic report for the HUMOR List.  Once a month it is my
responsibility to post to the entire list.

The HUMOR List is as successful as it is because of its
contributors, who share all forms of contemporary HUMOR with
everyone who has subscribed.  I can't speak for anyone else, but I
know that without laughter, there is little else worth looking
forward to (at least in public.)  If you are reading these words,
and are not a contributor, but would like to become one, all you
need to do is send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command GET HUMOR
GUIDE.  It will tell you everything you need to know about becoming
a contributor.

Even if you don't want to become a contributor, but would still
like to know how to access archived files of past digests, or to
temporarily suspend delivery of HUMOR to your mailbox (whatever
your reason may be), that, too, can be found in the wealth of
information we all know as the HUMOR Guide.

If you have any questions or problems, feel free to email me at or check out my web page at .
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            Traffic Report for HUMOR, 31 December - 6 January
                   (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

 31  Sunday          11        5        9        8        7
  1  Monday          15       13       10        5        5
  2  Tuesday         13       19       17        7        9
  3  Wednesday       14       11        8        6       13
  4  Thursday        11       21       17        3       15
  5  Friday          15       13        6       10        8
  6  Saturday        11        6       12        8        4

  Averages          12.8     12.6     11.3      6.7      8.7

Subscriptions       8,125    8,115    8,060    8,035    8,042
Countries             66       68       68       68       68
Contributors         658      662      668      666      665
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  Here is a list of all the countries registered to our listserver.
 (If your country is not listed here, please let me know.)

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria,
Canada, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Czech Republic,
Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Fiji, Finland, France, Germany,
Great Britain, Greece, Guam, Hongkong, Hungary, Iceland, India,
Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Korea, Kuwait,
Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico,
Mozambique, Northern Ireland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway,
Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi-Arabia,
Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden,  Switzerland,
Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, USA, Venezuela

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.
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The purpose of the Posters list is to protect our readers from
careless, quarrelsome, and selfish contributors. To become a
member request the instructions by sending the command GET HUMOR

** The following are the goals of HUMOR:

To provide a daily average of 10-20 substantial examples of humor.

To provide a diversity of humor: sources, forms, and subjects. To
provide freedom of expression for contributors and protection of
sensitivities for readers.

** The following are the brief version of HUMOR's rules:

1) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
  Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
  Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
  A contributor who violates rules may be suspended.

2) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
  Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
  Discussion, requests, and criticisms should not be posted
  One contribution per day.
  No personal attacks, no apologies, and no reactions.
  Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max).
  Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII art.
  No signature file.
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And now for my usual contribution of humor:

Subject:  All In the Family 

The proud father gave his son twenty bucks on his sixteenth
birthday and sent him off to the local whorehouse.  His
grandmother's house was on the way, and when she waved him inside
to wish him a happy birthday, he explained where he was off to.
She insisted that he save the money and make love to her.

The boy returned home with a big smile on his face.  "It was great,
Dad, and I saved the twenty bucks!"

"How's that?" asked his father.

"I did it with Grandma."

"What!" screamed his father.  "You mean you screwed my mother?"

 "Cool out, Dad, why not?  You've been sleeping with mine."

Jim Goldman, Traffic Reporter
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To leave the contributors list send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the
HUMOR. To subscribe send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
SUBSCRIBE HUMOR Call-name FamilyName.
A command goes in the 1st line of the message field.

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1995 Indexes

January February March April
May June July August
September October November December
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