Traffic Report for August 1995

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Countries Information
  4. HumorList Information
  5. Contribution of Humor
  6. Commonly Used ListServ Commands
  7. Month Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by

Greetings and salutations everyone!  This is Jim Goldman, the Traffic
Reporter for the HUMOR list.  It's basically my job to let the readership
of this list know how we're lookin', numbers wise that is.  Once a month I
post this message to the entire list, and every week, I bless (or curse,
depending on your point of view) the contributors with the traffic report.
  As subscribers to this list, there are two ways of receiving it: as a
message is posted ("MAIL" format) and as a conglomeration of all of the day's
posts at the end of the day ("DIGEST" format.)  A couple of weeks ago there
was a brief exchange regarding the attachment of documents on the humor list.
What I'm about to say is true for all internet mailing lists (as best as I
know it, anyway).  If you receive it in DIGEST format, you will not receive
attached documents.  There are advantages and disadvantages to each format.
You have the right to decide and change it as you see fit...  Either way send
a command to the listserver at LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU.  You would use the
command SET HUMOR MAIL for the mail format, and SET HUMOR DIGEST for digest
format.  A command goes in the body of the text.
  If you have a message to get out to our contributors, I am always willing
to listen to any concerns you may have.  I will in turn, pass along what you
have to say to the contributors with the report.  Those of you who remember
my last traffic report may notice that this is coming from a different
address than last time.  I HAVE in fact changed my primary email to  You can reach me there any time.  I'm still keeping
my old AOL account (JimGPhynn) and I'll usually check that mail about once a
week.  Also, if you're interested in seeing the files that I use to assemble
this report, email me.  I'll show you how I do it...  (I keep the files on my
hard drive for one week, until I get the new week's files...)
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Here is the traffic report:

                Traffic Report for HUMOR, 27 August - 2 September
                  (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks  3 Weeks  2 Weeks   1 Week    Last
Date   Day          Back     Back     Back     Back     Week

 27  Sunday          11       16        9        9        6
 28  Monday          16       14       13       14       18
 29  Tuesday         11       12       15       11       15
 30  Wednesday       12       11       20       11       16
 31  Thursday        14        9       15       16       11
  1  Friday          14       16       13       16       13
  2  Saturday         6        9       12       11       10

  Averages          12.0     12.4     13.8     12.6     12.7

Subscriptions       6,677    6,695    6,711    6,825    6,898
Countries             60       60       60       60       62
Contributors         554      562      562      565      568

These are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It does
not include addresses which receive HUMOR via local bulletin board,
area distribution lists, etc.  These numbers include both concealed
and non-concealed subscribers.
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  The countries that HUMOR goes out to are:
Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Brazi, Bulgaria, Canada,
China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia,
Finland, France, Germany, Great Britain, Greece, Hongkong, Hungary, Iceland,
India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Korea, Kuwait,
Latvia, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Mozambique, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway,
Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi-Arabia, Singapore,
South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Uruguay,
USA, Venezuela
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The purpose of the Posters list is to protect our readers from
careless, quarrelsome, and selfish contributors. To become a
member request the instructions by sending the command GET HUMOR

** The following are the goals of HUMOR:

To provide a daily average of 10-20 substantial examples of
To provide a diversity of humor: sources, forms, and subjects.
To provide freedom of expression for contributors and protection
of sensitivities for readers.

** The following are the brief version of HUMOR's rules:

1) Three rules protect HUMOR from complaints.
  Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
  Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
  A contributor who violates rules may be suspended.

2) Six rules protect HUMOR members from excessive traffic.
  Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
  Discussion, requests, and criticisms should not be posted
  One contribution per day.
  No personal attacks, no apologies, and no reactions.
  Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines
  Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines. No ASCII art. No
signature file.
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And now for my obligatory humor sampling:
Subject: God comes down >offensive to evangelists<

  With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a
visit to earth to check things out.  He strolled into a bar
and approached the first man he saw.  "If you believe in me
enough to give me $50, I will grant you eternal life."
  "Sorry, I'm an atheist," the fellow replied, "and have never
believed in God."
  God walked up to another man and made the same offer.  "Well,
I'm an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or not,"
the guy said, "but here's fifty bucks just in case."
  As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him.  "I'm 
and I don't really care whether you're God or not," he said excitedly.
"Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and I'll give
you $100."

Jim Goldman, Traffic Reporter   (
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To leave the contributors list send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
To subscribe send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command
SUBSCRIBE HUMOR Call-name FamilyName.
A command goes in the 1st line of the message field.

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