Traffic Report for September 1994

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. HumorList Information
  3. Traffic Report
  4. Contribution of Humor
  5. Month Index
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Dear HUMOR members:

This is a traffic report for the HUMOR list. Contributors receive a
report each week, so they can gauge the amount of traffic. Once a
month I send this report to the readers. Contributors agree to
support the list goal of a maximum daily average of 20.0 posts. For
the last four months HUMOR has averaged 16.4 posts per day. Contri-
butors give a clear subject label and a sensitivity warning when there
is possible offense.
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To become a contributor you should first request the *Contributor's
Guide* by sending the command GET HUMOR GUIDE to the LISTSERV@
UGA.CC.UGA.EDU address. After reading that document, you will need to
send me your numbered answers to a questionnaire (one of which
includes an opportunity to present a bit of humor--testing your
ability to write an appropriate subject line). I suggest that each
contributor post something at least once a year, but no more than
three times a week.

If you receive HUMOR at a commercial, military, or government site,
please be prudent with whom and how you share our humor. Your
immediate supervisor should be tolerant of your subscription. There
are humorless people embedded in our bureaucracies. If your
subscription to HUMOR is not supported by your supervisor, you can
download HUMOR LOGs from our archives without having to be a
subscriber. You can be a contributor without being a HUMOR subscriber
(However, you must be on HUMOR's contributor's list).

Much of HUMORs recent gains in readership has been because of the
positive response from teachers of English as a second language.
Several TESL members have joined the list. They have suggested that
some of their better students join the list. I very much want HUMOR to
become a world-wide list. I encourage contributors who hear, read, or
compose humor in a non-English language to include along with an
English version the non-English version of the humor. When there is a
untranslatable pun or an allusion unlikely to be know to English
speakers, please provide a brief footnote to explain.

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Here is the current weekly traffic report:

         Traffic Report for HUMOR, 25 September-1 October
              (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks   3 Weeks    2 Weeks   1 Week     Last
Date   Day          Back      Back      Back      Back      Week

 25  Sunday          14         6         6        10         8
 26  Monday          30        12        24        23        10
 27  Tuesday         20        20        23        28        16
 28  Wednesday       19        12        16        19        22
 29  Thursday        11        22        23        22        19
 30  Friday          13        15        21        16        10
  1  Saturday        16        10        16         7         6

  Averages          17.6      13.9      18.4      17.9      13.0

Subscriptions      3,349     3,377     3,396     3,503     3,623
Countries            50        49        47        53        52
Contributors        362       371       375       381       376
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Here is some Lincoln humor via Carl Sandburg

A fuddy-duddy judge corrected Lincoln's pronunciation of the word
"lien" as "lean" saying it should be as "lion." In a minute or two
Lincoln again pronounced the word his way, and again being corrected
apologized, "As ;you please, your honor." And slipping again and the
judge again correcting, he replied, "If my client had known there was
a *lion* on his form he wouldn't have stayed there long enough to
bring this suit."
When the  Supreme Court, made up of three judges, all
from Onedia County, New York, ruled against Lincoln so he lost his
case, he was asked by S.T. Logan, "How did you like the decision?" and
answered, "It's all that can be expected from a Oneida (one-idea)
"If three pigeons sit on a fence and you shoot and kill one of them,
how many will be left?" he asked. The answer was, "Two, of course." To
which Lincoln responded, "No, there won't, for the other two will fly
And it was told that once when Lincoln heard a farmer bragging too big
about the size of a hay crop that year, Lincoln said that he had once
helped to raise hay one year, and when it came harvest time, "We
stacked all we could outdoors, and then we put the rest of it in the
barn." On a paper written by a lawyer, with too many words and pages,
he remarked, "It's like the lazy preacher that used to write long
sermons, and the explanation was, he got to writin' and was too lazy
to stop."

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1994 Indexes

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May June July August
September October November December
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