Traffic Report for July 1994

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Traffic Report
  3. Contribution of Humor
  4. Month Index
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Dear HUMOR members:

This is a traffic report for the HUMOR list. Contributors receive a 
report each week, so they can gauge the amount of traffic. Once a 
month I send this report to readers, too. Contributors agree to
support the list goal of a maximum daily average of 20.0 posts. Last
week we averaged 17.9 posts per day. We also include a clear subject
label and a sensitivity warning when there is possible offense.

I continue to invite list readers to register as contributors. You can
request the *Contributor's Guide* by sending the command GET HUMOR
GUIDE to the LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU address. After reading that
document, you will need to send me numbered answers (one of which 
includes an opportunity to present a bit of humor--testing your 
ability to write an appropriate subject line). There is no expectation 
that contributors post on a regular basis. 

BAD NEWS: The UGA HUMOR list has been banned from major system. The
Department of Veterans Affairs (US Government) banned HUMOR beginning 
in July. What happened? One of our VA subscribers forwarded a number
of our more "offensive" examples of humor to others. Some of the 
people did not welcome this humor. These political correct people 
complained to the "wrong" people and HUMOR was banned. VA's
Information Management isn't going to reverse this decision. They are
now using the bogus criterion "not related to VA business." The real 
issue was one person's offensive conduct. Now readers from at least 
five other VA sites cannot read HUMOR, including one site which had a
re-distribution list. If you receive HUMOR at a commercial, military, 
or government site, please be prudent with whom and how you share our 
humor. There are humorless people embedded in our bureaucracies. 

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Here is the current weekly traffic report: 

           Traffic Report for HUMOR, July 31-August 6 
              (Number of articles posted each day)

                  4 Weeks   3 Weeks    2 Weeks   1 Week     Last
Date   Day          Back      Back      Back      Back      Week

 31  Sunday           6         9         3        12         5
  1  Monday           8        20        19        16        24
  2  Tuesday         17        25        28        18        27 
  3  Wednesday       18        19        21        18        25 
  4  Thursday        19        25        23        30        23
  5  Friday          22        14        22        14        14
  6  Saturday        11         9         9        10         7

  Averages          14.4      17.3      17.9      16.9      17.9 

Subscriptions      3,097     3,161     3,252     3,326     3,347
Countries            51        50        50        50        51 
Contributors        302       310       311       323       336

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Here are a few cartoon jokes I have seen lately: 

Doctor to interns: "This patient has a rare form of medical 

Boss to junior exec: "Hewes, it's come to my attention that you've 
been using our Internet access to troll for babes." 

Female boss to male junior exec: "You look tired and peaky, Anderson. 
Why don't you put on some makeup?"

Witness who is being sworn: "Wait a minute! This is a copy of TV

Witness to judge: "Your Honor, I've already answered that question on 
Maury Povich's show." 

"The President's really doing the best he can with this Haitian mess. 
The problem is sorting out the economic refugees from those who are
afraid of being shot! Which still doesn't explain why anyone afraid of
being shot would flee to Miami."

To loan official: "It's for a television so we can watch the Home 
Shopping Network." 

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all 
the extra years come at the end, when you're old." 

Hate has a reason for everything, but love is unreasonable.

Bill Edwards, HUMOR listowner, BEDWARDS@UGA.BITNET ( 
To subscribe send LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU the command SUB HUMOR Call- 
name FamilyName. A command goes in the 1st line of the message field.
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1994 Indexes

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May June July August
September October November December
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