Traffic Report for 1994

  1. Introductory Comments
  2. Annual Statistics Jan Thru Jun
  3. Annual Statistics Jul Thru Dec
  4. Yearly Totals
  5. Number Submissions By Hour
  6. Top 25 Contributors
  7. Humor List Archives
  8. Contribution of Humor
  9. Year Index
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995 Hi, everyone. This is Doug with the Annual Traffic Report for 1994 . Below the summary data for this year, I have included the corresponding data for last year, if it is available.


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                     Annual Traffic Report for HUMOR, 1994
                     (Average Number of Articles Posted)
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
                 Jan       Feb       Mar       Apr       May       Jun
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Sunday             7         9         8         8         4         7
Monday            22        19        23        18        14        22
Tuesday           22        23        29        18        11        17
Wednesday         23        25        33        24        18        19
Thursday          20        26        18        16        16        21
Friday            23        27        25        17        13        18
Saturday           9         8         8         7         4         6
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Total            536       547       658       454       352       479
[1993]             0         0         0       394       371       346
Average           17        20        21        15        11        16
[1993]            17        20        21        15        11        16

Subscribe          0         0         0         0         0      3036
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Countries          0         0         0         0         0        52
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Contribs           0         0         0         0         0         0
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Mon Contr        229       267       294       135       115       143
[1993]             0         0         0         0       149       139

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                     Annual Traffic Report for HUMOR, 1994
                     (Average Number of Articles Posted)
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
                 Jul       Aug       Sep       Oct       Nov       Dec
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Sunday             7        12         0         7         6         7
Monday            16        22         9        14        23        10
Tuesday           22        22         8        10        11        12
Wednesday         19        25        12        14        16        12
Thursday          24        23         8         9        14        10
Friday            19        18         9        13        16        11
Saturday           8        10         4         8         6         6
          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Total            497       598       216       327       392       302
[1993]           356       489       375       574       470       461
Average           16        19         7        11        13        10
[1993]            16        19         7        11        13        10

Subscribe       3347      3349      3623      3988         0         0
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Countries         51        50        52        50         0         0
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Contribs         336       362       376       385         0         0
[1993]             0         0         0         0         0         0

Mon Contr        134       174        98       115       127       109
[1993]           142       181       143       210       203       207

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Yearly Totals 
-------------

Total Postings for 1994: 5358
Average Postings per day for 1994: 15
Total Postings for 1993: 3836
Average Postings per day for 1993: 11

Average Subscribers for 1994: 3469
Average Subscribers for 1993: 0

Average Countries for 1994: 51
Average Countries for 1993: 0

Average Contributors for 1994: 292
Average Contributors for 1993: 0

Average Month Contributors for 1994: 388
Average Month Contributors for 1993: 1374

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Number Submissions By Hour
--------------------------

00 to 11    119   90   57   34   30   29   62  166  344  488  439  415
12 to 23    400  355  377  358  345  269  178  154  134  205  138  171

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And now, the Top 25 Contributors for the year. This will let you know who
our most prolific posters are. Give each of them a round of applause.
     Top 25 Contributors from 1/1/1994 to 12/31/1994(365 days)


Contributor                                      # Posts

Bill Edwards                                     113
Ian Chai                                         104
Sara Rummelhart                                  79
James Bologna                                    78
HCate.OSBU_North                                 75
Tommy Hughes                                     73
Sim Webster                                      73
Clarity Hands                                    68
Bob Lennard                                      64
Angel Dey                                        59
Lee Bradley                                      54
DNA                                              51
Timothy Abicht                                   50
Jim Harris                                       50
Charlie Hill                                     50
Les Pourciau                                     49
JOHN STONE                                       49
cate3.OSBU_North                                 47
Altar Ariel                                      43
Brian Peek, w/ A. Rauch (CABBS)                  40
Jack Kolb                                        39
Adina Sobo                                       39
Joe Mole                                         38
Mike Robertshaw                                  37
Tom Dixon                                        36



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These are the current sites for the archives:
  • archive.thehumorlist.us (HTML copies of Digests and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports) Back to Top = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of all Digests, it will point to the joke itself. My contribution of Humor from the Archives:
    From: Stan Kegel
    Subject:Recent Groaners
    
    
     Christmas Eve: From: Original Sins 
    
            Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves
    at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. Upon entering they are told
    by Saint Peter that they must present something "Christmassy" in order
    to get into heaven.
            The first man searches his pockets, and finds some pine needles from
    the family's Christmas tree. He is let into Heaven.
            The second man presents a bow and some ribbon from presents that were
    opened earlier in that night. So he is also allowed into Heaven.
            The third man pulls out a pair of black lace panties.
            Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter says in a booming voice, "I
    fail to see the relevance. How do *these* represent Christmas?"
            To which the third man sheepishly replies, "Oh... They're Carol's."
    
    The Sea: From:  Clynch Varnadore 
    
            One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Alfred Werner, clinical
    psychologist. The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages.
    "Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?"
            "Swell," replied the Sea saltily.
            "Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?"
            "Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just going in and
    out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--"
            "I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear there's
    nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you're just fit to
    be tide." (By Clynch Varnadore)
    
    The Housing Grant: From: Dogbyte 
    
            Recently, our town received a grant to build housing for midgets.
    According to our demographics, they figured that we should have six
    midgets living here. They sent enough money so that we could finance the
    building of homes and let the "little people" pay less than the going
    rate for rent.  Since we have only one "little person" living here it
    turns out that he won't have to pay anything for the only house we
    built, the subsidy covers everything. We call it a Stay Free Mini Pad.
    
     Guts: From: The Hallock Entity 
    
            The job description called for "A man with guts." The field was
    narrowed down to the final applicants who were given a written exam
    consisting of 7 questions worth 6 points each. This process should have
    narrow it down to one final candidate but each man who took the exam
    scored a perfect score. What do you know? Intestinal fortitude! (By Gary Hallock)
    
    Candy In Xanth: From: Mary Alexander 
    
            You see, I was walking along in Xanth the other day when I saw a white
    square in front of me on the path. Well, I heard it first, because it
    was shouting the most vile insults I had ever heard. I knew immediately
    that it was abase, so naturally I flipped it over and looked under it.
    Sure enough, there was my favorite kind of candy, ... a base mint. (By
    Mary Alexander)
    
    The Talent Scout: From: "futhman" 
    
            Shelley, a talent scout for a large recording studio, was walking by a
    convent when he heard someone singing in a voice so beautiful he
    couldn't believe his ears. He rang the bell and asked to speak to the
    woman with the amazing voice. Soon a young nun appeared.
            "Sister," Shelley said, "I represent Euphonics, Inc., and I'd like you
    to make a tape of hymns. Your fee could be donated to charity."
            "I'd be delighted," she replied, "but first I must get written
    permission from our Mother Superior."
            "Okay, Sister, just give me a call."
            Shelley rushed back to the office and described his find to his boss.
    Then he asked for a raise.
            Replied the boss, "Wait 'til the nun signs, Shelley.
    
    Going Out: From: Clynch_Varnadore@selinc.com
    
            Well, my wife hates fishing. Doesn't understand it a bit. If she even
    thinks about me fishing, she gets red in the face and starts shouting,
    "How can a full grown man take pleasure in shoving a piece of metal
    through the mouth of a living creature?".She won't even eat fish.
            However, she doesn't mind if I go play poker. I was able to use this to
    my advantage one time (and one time only!). I wanted to go fishing on
    the half-day boat, which goes out to a part of the kelp beds off the
    coast of San Diego. The beds are marked with floats which are anchored
    to the bottom of the ocean, so that boaters won't go into the beds and
    snarl their screws.
            I hit upon the perfect idea and told her I was going out. She assumed I
    was going to play poker, so she was pretty upset when I came back
    smelling like fish. "Where have you been?" she started, "I told you I
    don't like you going fishing!"
            "Honey," I responded, "I told you where I was going and you said that
    was no problem and I should have a good time!"
            She started screaming, "What? You said you were going out with your friends!"
            "No!" I answered, managing not to smile, "I said I was ... 'going out
    with the bouys'" (By Clynch Varnadore)
    
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    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Doug Harter, Traffic Reporter and Archiver
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