The Humor List Postings for April 2003

Updated on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 09:35 AM
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995

This is both an index of the text and zip files for the month and a day by day listing of the joke titles. If you are looking for a particular joke, search for the words in its title using the browser find command.

Below is a list of the links for each day. Each link will bring you to the Topics for that day. Each day will also have a link to the .txt, .zip and HTML files for that day

Topics for April
1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th
6th 7th 8th 9th 10th
11th 12th 13th 14th 15th
16th 17th 18th 19th 20th
21st 22nd 23rd 24th 25th
26th 27th 28th 29th 30th

At the end of all the topics is a table of links to all the months for the year of this index.
1st of April Topics of the day:
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  1. The Vatican Against Cloning In Programming Languages
  2. "That is remarkable!" remarked The Old Perfesser.
  3. <No subject given>
  4. The Way To A Wifes Heart.....
  5. Denominations explained
  6. 4-1-03
  7. Wheres your beard? (May be offensive to Talmud students or their families0
  8. Damn (Dam) Builders!, The Response - Part 2 of 2
  9. Flight
  10. TUESDAY ~ April 1st ~ National Daffynitions Month
  11. Sugar
  12. Dating hints
  13. This Weeks News In Brief < adult language>
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2nd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. U.S. Troops having a hard time keeping up with advancing Starbucks
  2. A simple introduction to work ...
  3. CANCELLED!!!!!
  4. With Whom Would You Speak?
  5. ADVISE FROM A RETIREE
  6. The prison quartet
  7. The Three Samurai
  8. Signs On A Dairy Farm.....
  9. Interesting Application
  10. A golfer
  11. WEDNESDAY ~ April 2nd ~ Great Lovers Day <ADULT>
  12. Politeness
  13. With Friends Like These...
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3rd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Military jargon explained
  2. Medical Marijuana Use
  3. Mass Masturbation of Liberators Reaches Climax
  4. Gentlemen, GENTLEMEN!!!!!
  5. Her first mammogram
  6. Horsing Around
  7. TYWS and T.O.P.
  8. THURSDAY ~ April 3rd ~ Dont Go To Work Unless Its Fun Day!
  9. A classic 3 wishes tale - of a different color
  10. Solve me tender
  11. MidNight
  12. Proclamation by the President
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4th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. The Latest From Central Command
  2. LAWYERS
  3. Billy Joe.....
  4. Brown paper Pete
  5. Tonys A Good Man
  6. What kind of sex do you have? <adultish>
  7. Never late for 30 years
  8. FRIDAY ~ April 4th ~ Plan Your Epitaph Day
  9. Las Vegas Hooker
  10. Sunday Morning <adultish>
  11. This Senator Knows What It Is When She Merely Hears About It
  12. Energy consumption
  13. This Weeks Horoscopes < adult >
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5th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Bush Launches "Operation Freedom from Dion"
  2. Vegetarian
  3. Presidential Daily Prayer (Off to religious bushist)
  4. GET YOURS NOW!!!!
  5. The Golden Phone.....
  6. The 8th grade in 1895
  7. From The Cynics Dictionary
  8. SATURDAY ~ April 5th ~ Noahs Ark Day
  9. Old women <adult>
  10. More Rumination
  11. The annual physical (possible offensive to forgetful people?)
  12. something to think about new ending
  13. Birthday gift
  14. Sunday Happenings at the Church Of Chuckles <prob. blasphemous>
  15. Statement by the President to the Military Personnel and Their Families
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6th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Today On Iraqi Television
  2. Daylight Saving Time
  3. The lonely female brain cell
  4. The Cork.....
  5. Todays Episcopalian
  6. The Helicopter (Possibly offensive to co-pilots0
  7. SUNDAY ~ April 6th ~ Day Light Savings Begins
  8. Dog Pet Peeves
  9. More Daylight Saving Time
  10. sexual power<adult>
  11. Waiting in line
  12. Medical Study
  13. Prescription-Drug Safety < adult >
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7th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Roman Senate Upset at Slow Pace of 2nd Punic War
  2. Gone, But Not Forgotten
  3. Shopping
  4. The Is Inevitable...
  5. Alexander Graham Bells laboratory
  6. April Fool <adultish>
  7. Ask the Aussie Tourism Website
  8. Things to Ponder
  9. MONDAY ~ April 7th ~ No Housework Day
  10. Mike echo delta india alpha
  11. Radio Address by the President
  12. Military Jargon Explained:
Return to day index
8th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Iraqi Information Ministry Apologizes For String Of Embarrassing Goofs
  2. "What comes before cocious?" The Old Perfesser asked precociously.
  3. The New Lexus.....
  4. Little boys
  5. TUESDAY ~ April 8th ~ American Synagogue Day
  6. Angels?!
  7. Iraqi jokes
  8. How bad is it?
  9. Too young to get married
  10. This Weeks News In Brief
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9th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. ConAgra Foods Selected as Official Sponsor of Operation Iraqi Freedom
  2. Where are we? When is it?
  3. How The IRS Got Their Name
  4. Experiment< Adult>
  5. Did You Ever Need A Reason?
  6. Attack On Baghdad.....
  7. A news report
  8. Baptism
  9. The Fiancée
  10. UK forces invade UK in shock move
  11. Top5 Parenting - 4/9/03
  12. Hot medium mild
  13. Oxy-mo-ron \ ockcee-mor-on \
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10th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Suthified Histry Skoolin
  2. Statement by the President
  3. The dynamite kid [Adultish]
  4. THURSDAY ~ April 10th ~ Viagra On-Sale Day <ADULT>
  5. Ask the Australian Tourism website, part deux
  6. Hay There!
  7. A Nebraska Brothel.....
  8. Good news and bad news
  9. Shemp Fans Boycott Curly Fries
  10. Thought for the day:
  11. Bush Subconsciously Sizes Up Spain For Invasion
Return to day index
11th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. How to Explain War to Your Retarded Children
  2. Its Always Something!!!
  3. His camping trip
  4. How Often?
  5. Hell Win That Darwin Yet!
  6. FRIDAY ~ April 11th ~ M&Ms Crisis Day
  7. Top Ten Reasons......
  8. hiring<lang>
  9. New Implant <Adult>
  10. Mess
  11. Warning
  12. My Accountant
  13. Radio Statement by the President to the People of Iraq
Return to day index
12th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Coalition Troops Find Cache of Missing G.I. Joe Pants in Iraq
  2. Advice for damyankees
  3. Golf
  4. Help Needed!
  5. SATURDAY ~ April 12th ~ Spam the Internet Day
  6. Mustard
  7. Removed from reality
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13th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. This Weeks Horoscopes
  2. Not long to live
  3. Iraqis Topple Giant Statue Of Saddam Look-Alike
  4. Woodpeckers <adultish>
  5. Kids during the Easter season
  6. the magic can
  7. Sunday Sermon at the Church Of Chuckles <prob. blasphemous>
  8. The Early Bird Gets the Worm
  9. SUNDAY ~ April 13th ~ U.S. Elephant Day
  10. Donald and Daisy <Mildly adultish. Silly, too>
  11. [Fwd: Smart Kids.....
  12. true story
  13. Them good old days prices
  14. Oscar Wilde
  15. Absolute Bottom 50s Euphemisms For Doin It < adult >
Return to day index
14th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. U.S. Troops Perplexed by British Foreskins < adult >
  2. Famous Quotes . . .
  3. Signs that youre not a kid anymore
  4. The Woodcutter and his Axe
  5. Todays Episcopalian.....
  6. Dont worry
  7. Where is it?
  8. Hymns Of The Lukewarm Church
  9. MONDAY ~ April 14th ~ National Go Fishing Day
  10. No wonder we get so confused!???
  11. Tax time
  12. Jim Mullens Hot Sheet
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15th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. "That just dont add up," said The Old Perfesser, nonplussed.
  2. New towns in Iraq
  3. TUESDAY ~ April 15th ~ U.S. Federal Income Taxes Due
  4. Oysters.....]
  5. American and Iraqi
  6. Duhdays duh day
  7. Tax tip <a groaner>
  8. Perfume
  9. Which sort of taxation is fairest?
  10. The Middle-Aged Whipper-Snapper
  11. The one in the middle - interpretive humor
  12. Landing gear is up!
  13. instant winner
  14. This Weeks News In Brief
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16th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. War Beleaguered Americans Yearn for Idyllic Days of Whos the Boss
  2. WEDNESDAY ~ April 16th ~ First Auction Day
  3. SEDER PICKUP LINES <offensive to Jews without a sense-of-humor>
  4. Contacts
  5. The Popes Visit
  6. Aging gracefully
  7. Politically Correct Terms For Her
  8. failed plan
  9. Traffic Report for March 2003
  10. 45 More Legislators Lose Jobs To Increased Congressional Automation
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17th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Back From Relapse, Bush Discovers He Started A War
  2. Laughter and Sex <offensive to 1.3 out of every 3846 list-members>
  3. THURSDAY ~ April 17th ~ Daffy Ducks Birthday <ADULT>
  4. Au Pair
  5. 32 TRUTHS ABOUT GOLF.....
  6. Texas talk
  7. Musically Inclined!!!
  8. Moms Prayer
  9. Getting into the temple (A Yom Kippur Joke at Passover)
  10. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
  11. Hassidic Golf
  12. Banking
  13. Year 1923.....
  14. Changing a light bulb
  15. Statement by the President
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18th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Music Industry Standardizes New 9600 Baud Modem for Internet Downloads
  2. Glass Eye
  3. Pregnancy, estrogen, and women
  4. Driving in Rome
  5. Tourists!
  6. where *did* that name come from? [this *will* offend the fanatically christian members. my hate mail is forthcoming]
  7. Mood!
  8. FRIDAY ~ April 18th ~ San Francisco Earthquake Anniversary
  9. St. Peter fainted
  10. For Good
  11. the nervous preacher
  12. Q & A <adult, nastily naughty, offensive, spank me>
  13. How clean does cold water clean?
  14. This Weeks Horoscopes
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19th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Howard Stern to Host Pay-Per-View Iraqi Executions
  2. Weighing Baby
  3. Tips For Parents...
  4. Poor Men!!!
  5. A Penny Saved
  6. From the mouths of Babes
  7. SATURDAY ~ April 19th ~ First Automobile Built In America
  8. Swimsuit
  9. Redneck Driving Etiquette
  10. Coincidence
  11. The Priest Shrink (Possibly offensive for religious reasons)
  12. The Easter Bunny Giveth, And The Easter Bunny Taketh Away
  13. Singing Hymns
  14. The Bible Logic Quiz < religious >
  15. Happy Easter!!!
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20th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Priest Who Gave Up Pedophilia for Lent Really Excited About Easter
  2. The essay <clean>
  3. SUNDAY ~ April 20th ~ Easter
  4. The speeding motorist
  5. Safe Sex
  6. job interview
  7. Older model
  8. Whod A Thought?
  9. Remember when.....
  10. The Search For WMD
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21st of April Topics of the day:
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  1. CNN, FOX Promise Orderly Transition To 24-Hour Modesto Murder Coverage
  2. Terrorists Bumper Stickers
  3. Happy Easter!!!
  4. Is she a blonde?
  5. Driving Lessons.....
  6. Future Hall Of Famer?
  7. The laundry challenge
  8. MONDAY ~ April 21st ~ Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21)
  9. SECURITY NOTICE
  10. Personal Security
  11. Curly hair
  12. Ask the White House
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22nd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. "Its my personal magnetism," said The Old Perfesser ironically.
  2. A sign for your front door
  3. Little Pauly goes to Heaven <unlikely, but clean>
  4. CNN Job Application
  5. A Few Jokes
  6. Soap theft
  7. Cloning
  8. Scrolls
  9. TUESDAY ~ April 22nd ~ In God We Trust Anniversary <Adult language>
  10. sports bloopers <adult>
  11. Amish couple
  12. This Weeks News in Brief
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23rd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. War Update.....
  2. My Business Hours
  3. In the service...
  4. Doctor, Doctor <oldies>
  5. All Enemies of US Declared "Probably Dead"
  6. THE 10.00 O¹CLOCK NEWS (Possible offensive to blondes)
  7. Thanks for Understanding
  8. Its fun being an European, isnt it?
  9. Great Scott! -- New Product Report
  10. A Dogs letter to God
  11. Negative advertising
  12. A graceful insult list
  13. =?iso-8859-1?Q?WEDNESDAY_~_April_23rd_~_Administrative_Professionals_Day_? = =?iso-8859-1?Q?=AE_?=
  14. Statement by the President
  15. The Ultra-Amazing Teen Movie Pitch Generator
  16. Deja List
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24th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Happily Married.... Of Course!!!
  2. The Alaskan Priest (Possibly offensive to Roman Catholics or others)
  3. Being Polite.....
  4. The blond guy
  5. THURSDAY ~ April 24th ~ First couple to travel across the U.S. by car
  6. Journalism Students Identify Watergate Informant: Linda Lovelace
  7. The consequences
  8. Guns & Pulpits - Another Darwin Candidate
  9. Vikings???
  10. Titanic or Clinton? <Off to Clinton fans>
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25th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. ALERT
  2. A few smiles
  3. The Wisdom of Will Rogers.....
  4. Dinner and a Drink
  5. Golfing Gorilla
  6. The duck-hunting lawyer
  7. Old Guys Opinion
  8. FRIDAY ~ April 25th ~ Old-Time Baseball Day
  9. tax cut
  10. Gallows humor (but with an electric chair)
  11. Angry Iraqis Demand Utilities, Security, Democracy, And U.S. Out By Thursday
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26th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. stand, kneel and sit <<>> w/the rest of the congregation
  2. You Want Answers??? I Got Your Answers, Right Here!!!
  3. A childs definition
  4. Its Golf Season!!!!!
  5. Groucho Lines
  6. The "dirty" sales pitch
  7. SATURDAY ~ April 26th ~ National Bird Day
  8. Get a Mac
  9. Controversy Swirls as Ohio State Introduces "Academics"
  10. Some fun quotes
  11. Todays Parable at the Church Of Chuckles <prob. blasphemous>
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27th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Most Wanted Novelties Boost Iraqi Economy
  2. A Rabbi, Boys and one well-loved Dog
  3. The geography of men and women [Adultish]
  4. That sums it up just nicely.....
  5. The English Language!
  6. SUNDAY ~ April 27th ~ Natural Law Day <ADULTISH>
  7. Little Golden Books That Never Made It
  8. Tourist attraction
  9. Airlines
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28th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Chirac Poses Naked For Cover Of Entertainment Weekly
  2. =?iso-8859-9?Q?Microsoft=AE_Kitchen_security_alert!?=
  3. Triple The Size!!! <um...>
  4. The Birds and the...
  5. A Retired Supervisory Aerospace Engineer
  6. This one is not for the ladies!!!
  7. A womans prayer <sexist>
  8. Biology Class
  9. MONDAY ~ April 28th ~ Parachute Rip Cord Birthday <ADULTISH>
  10. liberal or conservative
  11. Salty sailor jokes <adult content>
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29th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Linux Developer Gets Laid
  2. Joe
  3. "Did they give me a lobotomy?" ...
  4. What was the question?
  5. The Bird And The Police Officer ....
  6. The proposal <unflattering>
  7. Important Lesson <adultish>
  8. TUESDAY ~ April 29th ~ The Tomahawk Incident
  9. gender roles in Kabul
  10. Late-Braking News: Harry Potter
  11. A moral story
  12. Cross country
  13. Burying the goldfish
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30th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Todays Headlines Translated Into Canadian
  2. Constipated? <bathroom humor>
  3. WEDNESDAY ~ April 30th ~ Hunting License Day
  4. Grin N Bear It
  5. The Best Cat Story Ever.....
  6. Tickle me Elmo
  7. Insomnia <sexist>
  8. The brunette with terrible pains (Possibly offensive to blondes)
  9. A Somewhat Improved Glossary of Your PCs Messages
  10. Funny things heard in court!
  11. Newspapers
  12. Hamburger
  13. Field Exercises
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2003 Indexes

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May June July August
September October November December