The Humor List Postings for May 1996

Updated on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 09:26 AM
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995

This is both an index of the text and zip files for the month and a day by day listing of the joke titles. If you are looking for a particular joke, search for the words in its title using the browser find command.

Below is a list of the links for each day. Each link will bring you to the Topics for that day. Each day will also have a link to the .txt, .zip and HTML files for that day

Topics for May
1st 2nd 2nd special #1 3rd 4th
5th 6th 7th 8th 9th
10th 11th 12th 13th 14th
15th 16th 17th Missing 18th 19th
20th 21st 22nd 23rd 24th
25th 26th 27th 28th 29th
30th 31st      

At the end of all the topics is a table of links to all the months for the year of this index.
1st of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File

  1. Are you an asshole? (2/2) <bad words and more>
  2. Professors
  3. Good/Bad/Worse {adult themes}
  4. Cows 5/14
  5. Cows 6/13
  6. Humor: Nurses in Heaven
  7. Law on the March
  8. Ambitious Parrot (foul)
  9. Humor ..barf
  10. Oops [offensive to editors of NY Times, 1920]
  11. Full Deck-isms, Part VI
  12. Seniors vs. Freshmen
  13. Kids Comments on Love (Part 2 of 2)
  14. Seniors vs. Freshmen et. al.
  15. Car Buyers... 90s Style
  16. Have I Got a Deal For You!!
  17. A Few Jokes (Clean)
  18. Party <off to Queenslanders rednecks>
  19. A couple of goodies (2nd may offend seniors)
  20. Womens restrooms (somewhat rude)
Return to day index
2nd of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. New help for the downsized
  2. The Dark Computer
  3. Full Deck-isms, Part VII
  4. Sexy Blonde <Adult themes & off to blonds>
  5. Mad Cow Disease
  6. My Birthday Gift <Kinky at the end>
  7. Construction Worker <may be offensive>
  8. Interesting worship ideas (not offensive)
  9. What part goes to Heaven 1st?
  10. The One Eyed Cat (suggestive)
  11. Request For Assistance
  12. Dating rules for college (contains offensive language)
  13. Law on the March
  14. Shoe on the other foot
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2nd of May Topics of the day in this special issue #1:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. the truth of college financial aid
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3rd of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. In The News - Involves American Politics, may be offensive -
  2. Engine Wear <slightly off. to a wife>
  3. Quotes part 59
  4. Law on the March
  5. Faries
  6. Faries
  7. Gross joke <offensive to gays, necrophiliacs>
  8. Reasons I dont want to work here anymore
  9. Song (may be offensive to some)
  10. Sweatshirts
  11. Fun things to do while driving
  12. Hit me <off. to blackjack dealers>
  13. Cousin Waldo (poss.offensive to dentists)
  14. History 101 (not offensive) 1 of 3
  15. Top Ten Lists
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4th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. The Final
  2. HUMOR List Traffic Report
  3. History 101 (not offensive) 2 of 3
  4. Offensive to Jews, but not many.
  5. TP for whom?
  6. The Missing Chewing Gum - inoffensive
  7. Man at brothel, may be offensive to wifes
  8. New Religion <mildly off. to catholics>
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5th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Another National Day: May be offensive to some vegetarians
  2. Two Horrible Puns
  3. The Pope (Offensive to the pope & cops?)
  4. Graveyard (macabre)
  5. Irish Builders <off. to Irish>
  6. History 101 (not offensive) 3 of 3
  7. Red Indian Joke <might offend Native Americans - slightly rude >
  8. George Burns and Gracie Allen "routine" #1
  9. Guide to Weight Loss During Sex <adult themes>
  10. Full Deck-isms, Part VIII (Conclusion)
  11. [Mis-directed e-mail]
  12. Dogs Life (offensive to some dogs)
  13. Law on the March
  14. The Difference <mildly off. to Screen Stars>
  15. True love? <off. to ex-wife>
  16. If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals
  17. Mad and legless cows
  18. Mad and legless cows
  19. Teenagers, not offensive unless one owns you.
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6th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Got the message <Kid story non-offensive>
  2. Top 20 Childrens Books
  3. Bumper Sticker - Possibly offensive sexual innuendo
  4. Flame retardant
  5. Quotes part 60
  6. Two gays (off. to gays)
  7. How not to rob a bank
  8. Offensive, F word and more.
  9. Flautulence in 7 forms
  10. Sam... the recluse (suggestive)
  11. Burns & Allen routine #2
  12. Camel/Timeteller <adult theme>
  13. Law on the March
  14. Condom Size {semi-adult (teenage?) themes}
  15. Good ol boy. (The F word)
  16. Wisdom from Dr. Seuss
  17. What to call a cow with no legs?
  18. A duck
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7th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. The Poo list
  2. Golf <suggestive references>
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8th of May Topics of the day:
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HTML File
  1. What are these? (offensive to women)
  2. It shows youre thinking <mildly off. to teachers>
  3. The Microsoft Child
  4. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #3
  5. What do you call a cow with no legs?
  6. Comparison
  7. George Burns and Gracie Allen, classics
  8. Whats in a Name? (Poss. Off.: Palestinians/Swedes)
  9. Bad hand? <adult themes>
  10. Law on the March
  11. Golfers <offensive religious humor>
  12. Neil Armstrong...
  13. Two camels
  14. Computer Language
  15. Do you have a headache? <mildly off. to German Mother-in-laws>
  16. You might be an ER Physician if...
  17. topTen Use of old PCs
  18. Smokers Breath
  19. Unabomber {extremely offensive to Mississippians}
Return to day index
9th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Laughing Baby
  2. Quotes part 61
  3. At the bank
  4. Gods mistake ( Offensive to women )
  5. Optimist
  6. Golf (possibly offensive to Christians)
  7. This little piggy...
  8. True Tales of InDUHviduals
  9. Missing panties caper <sexual,rude>
  10. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #4
  11. Old Nun Joke
  12. Mickeys Divorce (adult themes, language)
  13. fianals list {Part 1 of 2}
  14. Change of Life <vulgar & possibly off. to Doctors & elderly woman>
  15. Best Thing ? <vulgar, offensive to women>
  16. MVS or VMS?
  17. Our tax dollars at work
  18. Good girl/ Bad girl ( Offensive to bad girls )
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10th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. A good one
  2. Virus spread <riske, but no bad words>
  3. Whats in a name?
  4. Reggies Elephant
  5. A night on the road (offensive to nun)
  6. Jesus on the water (off. to christians)
  7. Chics checking disks (MS-DOS style)
  8. Mothers Day cards from Famous People to their Moms <off. to most everyone>
  9. Microsofts New Release??
  10. Translation transmogrification
  11. Burns & Allen routine #5
  12. Law on the March
  13. Hunting <Offensive to Cityfolk>
  14. Finals list -- part II
  15. Why chocolate is better than sex (adult theme)
  16. A bad day? <adult themes>
  17. Rabbit humor
  18. Clean light bulb joke
  19. Doing the dishes <adult theme...F word>
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11th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. The Brothel <mildly off. to public>
  2. A dogs life <off. to dog lovers>
  3. Four Letter Words
  4. Linguistic Processes
  5. Ronald McDonald Grows Up <adult>
  6. Marge Schott joke
  7. In The News - American politics, may be off. to Christians
  8. Resurection of Jesus (pos. off. to Christians)
  9. The Cost of Defense
  10. Arab expresions 2 of ?<Off. to Arabs & reference to poop.>
  11. Another Good girl/ Bad girl
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12th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. In the blizzard <sick>
  2. What state is that dog from <mildly vulgar>
  3. The nickname (adult themes, the "f" word)
  4. Law on the March
  5. Going back to the Old Country <adult>
  6. Sweet dreams? <adult themes>
  7. Mothers Day joke
  8. A Childs Logic
  9. Little Johnny - risque
  10. Off the tracks
  11. Check This
  12. India elections trigger condom shortage
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13th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. New Windows Error Codes
  2. Bathroom fun (vulgar)
  3. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #6
  4. Automotive tools
  5. A hard man <adult themes>
  6. The perfect day. (Politically incorrect).
  7. Whats A Polly-Chick?
  8. CIA agent requirments <might be offensive to wives>
  9. Arab expresions 2 of ?<Off. to Arabs & reference to poop.>
  10. Warning Signs of Insanity
  11. Bathroom fun (vulgar)
  12. Law on the March
  13. On the house? <off. to dwarfs>
  14. International yogi competition: may be offensive to some yogis and contestants
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14th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. A cleane joke
  2. Police Academy <might offend cops>
  3. The Murphy Boy <vulgar language and offensive to Nuns & priests>
  4. Riddle (vulgar)
  5. Castaways (off to tribesmen?)
  6. Difference
  7. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #7
  8. Washing Dishes
  9. Irish humour (off. Siamese twins)
  10. Law on the March
  11. Shott & Nott
  12. Oprectomy <"s" word )
  13. Bumper Stickers (seen and unseen)
  14. A Summary of Majors <obscenity - "f" word>
  15. Ala carte? <adult themes>
  16. Assorted humor
  17. Alien Humor...
  18. Buying Condoms
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15th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. Newly weds!! (Offensive to the elderly!)
  2. Feeling good <adult>
  3. Engineers Game
  4. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #8
  5. Law on the March
  6. Couple of groaners
  7. A job to be done...
  8. Salad Anyone? (suggestive)
  9. The Armoured Car
  10. Shot in the dark? <adult themes>
  11. Cooking measures
  12. "True<?>" story; FBI, mental health
  13. Clinton joke (offensive to humorless Democrats)
  14. The Oldie-Weds <off. to some husbands>
  15. The glass eye <off. to Eye Doctors>
  16. Assorted Humor (offensive in Some States)
  17. Reply to Clinton joke (offensive to humorless Republican majority)
  18. Truly Awful Pun
  19. Small troubles
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16th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Racial Slur <off. to blacks>
  2. Microsoft Delivery
  3. Shooting <Off. Language>
  4. In a bar on the 15 floor
  5. The Virgin <very suggestive>
  6. Banana Cake Recipe <sexual innuendos>
  7. Law on the March
  8. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #9
  9. Deep thinking <adult themes>
  10. Word Game
  11. Trustable... (adult content, off. to nun)
  12. The best rejection slip....
  13. Bumper Stickers
  14. A Good Christian Lion
  15. Rolling Stones (may be offensive to Scotsmen)
  16. Assorted humor
  17. Baseball terms <offensive>
  18. Blonde joke <offensive to blondes, as if they might realize>
  19. Michael Jackson {Offensive}
  20. Diary of an AOL User.
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17th of May Topics of the day:
Txt file - Missing
Zip File - Missing
HTML file - Missing
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18th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Quotes and a joke
  2. Insecticide Salesman (mildly suggestive)
  3. Honeymooners <off to Elderly>
  4. Law on the March
  5. Assorted humor
  6. Few jokes <sexual, Arkansas, Madonna>
  7. Penis Joke <off. to men with small penis>
  8. Yo momma jokes <adult themes>
  9. Excess skin <Off to males>
  10. Mad cow solution <Off. to polititions & lawyers>
  11. Response to off. to males <off. females>
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19th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. The Canibal (gross)
  2. Crazy cow
  3. 3 Nuns confessions <off. to Nuns everywhere>
  4. <No subject given>
  5. African roulette <adult>
  6. Insults <suggestive---offensive>
  7. More Arabic Expressions 3 of ?<Off. to Arabs>
  8. Training (Bad Language)
  9. Warning Labels
  10. A Profile in Courage
  11. Assorted Humor
  12. Top 17 Programmers Terminologies
  13. Smoking and Dying
  14. Computers {poss off to men &/or women}
  15. One Liner
  16. Two Cannibals <gross & off to cannibals>
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20th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. <No subject given>
  2. Quotes part 64
  3. The monkey in the bar <sick>
  4. Action hero humor
  5. Reverse the polarity...(offensive to certain users)...
  6. Effeciency Expert (Suggestive)
  7. Law on the March
  8. Bud Light (sexually offensive)
  9. Press Bashing Pun
  10. Headlines
  11. Burns & Allen routine #11
  12. horrifically ironic
  13. Rejected titles for the movie "Twister"
  14. New Stamp <Offensive to Philatelics?>
  15. The Pig <offensive to Rush Limbaugh>
  16. Asorted Humor
  17. Miscellaneous Jokes (Offensive to cannibals, lunatics, and talkative women)
  18. Images of India and Indian in School Text-books
  19. Kumquat (tongue twister)
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21st of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Two Bullets <off. to lawyers>
  2. Riddle
  3. Indian Joke <offensive to Indians, Adult Theme>
  4. Mildly Suggestive
  5. Toasters
  6. George Burns & Gracie Allen routine #12 of 12
  7. <No subject given>
  8. Law on the March
  9. Cannibal one liner (scatological) / mosque riddle
  10. One-liner (maybe off. to amputees/doctors)
  11. Man <language>
  12. Packwood vs. Lincoln <sexual>
  13. New Software - possibly offensive to word processers
  14. Quotes part 65
  15. Warning label <Off. to really really stupid people>
  16. The minister (suggestive)
  17. Michael Irvin <sexual|>
  18. Heres To Your Good Health
  19. Nixon Sighted in Macedonia
  20. The Glass Eye <off. to Eye Doctors>
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22nd of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Thus spake Gates <offensive to Christians and Microsoft fans>
  2. Potato identification [adult]
  3. Law on the March
  4. State of West VA Residency Application <off. to Rednecks>
  5. The Trainee (possibly off to women)
  6. Stupid joke
  7. Something fishy? <adult themes>
  8. Religious Question
  9. Headlines <sexual innuendo>
  10. Im looking for something...
  11. The Prisoner
  12. How to tell if you Starship Captian is a Redneck (off to rednecks)
  13. Chaplains Thought <Possibly offensive to Christians>
  14. Asorted Humor
  15. Nixon Sighted at Karaoke Bar
  16. Computer people
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23rd of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Quotes part 66 and some computer nerd jokes
  2. Olympic Torch
  3. Law on the March
  4. Riddle
  5. Amen!
  6. Man has 17 parts (may offend men or women)
  7. C&W song title (sexual innuendo)
  8. Law on the March
  9. Hot tub full of gay guys <gross and off. to gays>
  10. Heaven.net
  11. Net Names
  12. I found it! <re: whos on 1st>
  13. "What do roses drink?" <off. to teachers>
  14. Your Place Or Mine?
  15. Finally Lost Weight
  16. Sluggo Press Release
  17. Hoon gow wa <mildly offensive to ministers>
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24th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. Math-Related Pun
  2. Sorry, just need info !
  3. Booze in Space
  4. I found it! (address here)
  5. Possibly offensive to Irish Widowers
  6. America Offline (Offensive to Steve Case)
  7. Minor memos <off. to Democrats in general>
  8. Two cats in a swimming race <very verbal>
  9. Duck Food & Chaos
  10. Pun <suggestive; "P" word; offensive to cat lovers?>
  11. Male Facts (Off. to Men)
  12. Jack Schitt (offensive language)
  13. Silence is golden. <off. to talkative wives>
  14. Unabomber haikus
  15. Toddler Property Laws
  16. The Bar (Reference to feminine hygiene)
  17. Law on the March
  18. Hillary Clinton {language - tastless}
  19. Ethics
  20. Chaplains Thought <possibly offensive to Christians>
  21. Asorted humor
  22. Trick question
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25th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Slogan Translation
  2. Quotes part 67
  3. Politics (offensive to Dole & Clinton supporters)
  4. Life in prison
  5. Poisoned Coffee
  6. Mad cow disease <off. to men>
  7. Advancing Years
  8. In The News - American Politics, may be off to women, more
  9. Assorted humor
  10. Trapped?
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26th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. Cannibals
  2. Adult Education (may offend adults)
  3. How To Recognize Drivers By Their License Plates.
  4. Law on the March
  5. Sexual intonations...offensive to republicans
  6. In The News - May be offensive to HUD, Los Angelenos, more
  7. A bird in the hand? <adult themes>
  8. Ill Have a Beer
  9. Whos on First (finally!)
  10. Police Aid <offensive to blacks, law enforcement>
  11. From The Commitments (includes the f word)
  12. A suprise for Aunt Martha (only Aunt Martha offended)
  13. Rejected Breakfast Cereal Ideas <language>
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27th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Valujet jokes <highly tasteless>
  2. Quotes aprt 68
  3. love?... <extremely off to women>
  4. Final insult <Off. to bodybuilders>
  5. Rotten day <off.to women ??>
  6. Mark Russell Quip Same-Sex Marriages
  7. Theres Nothing New Under The Sun
  8. Bigamy <wives>
  9. A New Twist on Some Old Adages
  10. An Army Marches on Its Stomach (Offensive to Anglophiles)
  11. Old Man and the Genie
  12. The Bickersons - "The Honeymoon Is Over," part 1 of 4
  13. Assorted humor
  14. Genie, Black man <gross, racist>
  15. Rejected Breakfast Cereals
  16. Stupid joke (not off.)
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28th of May Topics of the day:
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  1. Wives <might be offensive to women>
  2. ValueJet Slogans <in poor taste>
  3. Sargent Dye
  4. The Bickersons - "The Honeymoon Is Over," pt 2 of 4
  5. A Verye Olde Garlicke
  6. Trick question
  7. Cockfight <off. to Poles, Texas A&M grads, and attorneys>
  8. Stupid joke (not off.)
  9. Marriage in Heaven
  10. Quotes part 69
  11. Chinese torture <sexual content>
  12. Everyone Has Their Limits (Offensive to Used Car Salesmen)
  13. New technological innovation
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29th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. What not to Name Your Dog <mildly adult theme>
  2. Those genies... <May off. the disabled>
  3. Clinton joke
  4. Life Insurance <off. to lawyers>
  5. Law on the March
  6. The Bickersons - "The Honeymoon Is Over," pt 3 of 4
  7. Another Oldie
  8. Twister
  9. Sick Nursery Rhymes <f-word once>
  10. Actors {Clean}
  11. Dumb Blonde Joke <sexual content>
  12. Sex, may be offensive to women
  13. Sex, May be offensive to Norwegians
  14. Censorship In A Much More Innocent Age
  15. Weird Science
  16. Final Exam
  17. How far? <mildly off. to newlyweds & cabin owners>
  18. Rooster Joke <non-offensive>
  19. What are their nationalities? <mildly off.>
  20. Eternal Reward <May be offensive to women and/or Religious oriented>
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30th of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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HTML File
  1. Drowning victim
  2. What to name your dog (innuendo)
  3. 80s quiz
  4. Win95 versus Jesus <pos. off. to Christians and Windows fans>
  5. The Bickersons - "The Honeymoon Is Over," pt 4 of 4
  6. Snap - Crackle and Pop
  7. If you wish to be in two places simultaneously......
  8. Law on the March
  9. Call 911
  10. Lightning rod? <adult themes>
  11. Clucking and pecking (offensive to hens)
  12. Camel jokes <adult themes>
  13. Please Go Quietly (Mildly offensive -- scatological reference)
  14. How Dry Was It?
  15. The Garden (Slightly off-color)
  16. Canadians vs. Americans <may be offensive to Brits, Americans or Canadians>
  17. Advancing Years
  18. The Virgin Mary <mildly off. to some fellow catholics>
  19. Types of men you meet in washrooms (crude)
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31st of May Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. A nice one
  2. Tax humor (an oxymoron??) <should not offend>
  3. Radically New Learning Tool
  4. I swear its true <potentially offensive to Right to Lifers>
  5. The Accident
  6. Peanuts for the Elephants [Clean]
  7. Quotes part 70
  8. Valujet top 20
  9. What are seniors worth ?
  10. Snooker Loopy <gross, sexist>
  11. Golf anyone (shouldnt be offensive)
  12. Anniversary Daze
  13. Anniversary Daze (offensive to rednecks)
  14. Small car <adult themes>
  15. Stupid joke (not off.)
  16. Another hen joke [inoffensive but very poor]
  17. Siamese twins, (not real offensive)
  18. The Dark Sucker Theory <not offensive>
  19. Rule Number One, The Boss Is Always Right
  20. Some Things Never Change
  21. Assorted Humor
  22. 3 Men go to Hell <vulgar wording>
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