The Humor List Postings for April 1996

Updated on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 09:26 AM
The Humor List archives are being graciously hosted by Host995

This is both an index of the text and zip files for the month and a day by day listing of the joke titles. If you are looking for a particular joke, search for the words in its title using the browser find command.

Below is a list of the links for each day. Each link will bring you to the Topics for that day. Each day will also have a link to the .txt, .zip and HTML files for that day

Topics for April
1st 1st special #1 2nd 3rd 4th
5th 6th 7th 8th 9th
10th 11th 12th 13th 14th
15th 16th 17th 18th 18th special #1
19th 20th 21st 22nd 23rd
24th 25th 26th 27th 28th
29th special #1 29th 30th    

At the end of all the topics is a table of links to all the months for the year of this index.
1st of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Answering Machine Messages Part 2/7 <some bad language>
  2. Certain ethnic joke
  3. Breaking News
  4. Quotes part 48
  5. Adult Humor (offensive to elderly)
  6. Airline humor
  7. Lovers Lane (shouldnt offend anyone)
  8. Dentist Visit
  9. Penis for President:<offensive to Iranians>
  10. The XOs inspection (some toilette humor)...
  11. Cat Bathing as a Martial Art
  12. Income Tax Deduction
  13. Gobbledygook
  14. Oops
  15. Simple Caveman needum printer help (G)
  16. Dogs from Munich
  17. Golf <Possibly offensive to gays, right-wingers>
  18. The Three Answers
  19. Mans Last Night
  20. Hot pants? <off. to matadors>
  21. Humor Quality Control
  22. Humor Quality Control <some vulgarity>
  23. Male Contraceptive
  24. The Rules To Bedroom Golf <adult themes>
  25. Changed Wording
  26. The Rules (May Be Offensive to Women)
  27. Easter Jokes <One Makes Fun of the Crucifixion>
  28. Meow Mix (Gross)
  29. Mad Cow Disease <offensive to Little Caesars employees>
Return to day index
1st of April Topics of the day in this special issue #1:
Txt File
Zip File
HTML File
  1. Discrimination? <adult themes>
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2nd of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Passing the Exam
  2. Smiles... (not offensive)
  3. Golf joke (may be offensive to gays)
  4. An embarrassed State Trooper
  5. Windows 95 Notice
  6. White vs Balck pigs: Offensive to pigs and cows
  7. Reports of Their Split Was Greatly Exaggerated...
  8. Birth control pill for men <mild>
  9. Dont Be a Sore Loser!
  10. Answering Machine Messages Part 3/7 <may be offensive to mormons; some bad language>
  11. OJ Observation
  12. Sanctuary for mad cows?!
  13. Q & A (Adult Humor)
  14. Mining accident
  15. Court Room testimony (not for the weak of stomach)
  16. How to annoy the mentally ill <off.>
  17. Things to keep in mind -- inoffensive
  18. Poem of the Little old lady in Lavender... (Risque)
  19. Lab Rat
  20. They cancelled Easter (offensive to Christians)
  21. Personal ad <adult themes>
  22. Even ketchup can have a double meaning
  23. Diarrhea (May be Offensive)
  24. 200 bucks <adult theme, nudity>
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3rd of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Answering Machine Messages Part 4/7
  2. Baseball (off to mlb players)
  3. Horoscopes <tactless and generally offensive!>
  4. Easter humour
  5. Adult Humor (hopefully more cute than offensive)
  6. Quotes part 7*7
  7. Addicted to Vi
  8. Once upon a time...
  9. Marital Bliss? (adult themes)
  10. Step saver <off. to convicts>
  11. Dole <phallic>
  12. 9 Types of Boyfriends & Girlfriends
  13. Things to keep in mind--inoffensive
  14. Training
  15. DOS mania
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4th of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. More mlb... (off to "them")
  2. Answering Machine Messages Part 5/7
  3. Extremely blasphemous easter-time humour
  4. Easter riddle
  5. Adult Humor
  6. Word Game Anecdote
  7. What I learned in college
  8. The Pepper and Salt Association
  9. If Jesus Lived Today
  10. Government Regulations
  11. Raise you $5!
  12. Political Humor <may be offensive to political figures>
  13. Solve Mad Cow issue and Bosnia <poss off to Bosnia, British>
  14. Humor in the News <impotence humor, poss. off. to squeamish>
  15. Vending Machine
  16. Key To Success
  17. Backup Copies
  18. Million Man March (Offensive to blacks)
Return to day index
5th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Answering Machine Messages Part 6/7
  2. Folgers Crystals
  3. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
  4. Q & A (offensive to Jews, Italians, Poles, Mexicans etc..)
  5. Have We Gone Too Far
  6. Unabomber Irony
  7. Setting Clocks
  8. Real programmers <off. programmers?>
  9. Reasons I still believe in the Easter Bunny
  10. In The News - May be offensive to women, rap singers, Unabomber
  11. BettyJos Complaint (adult)
  12. Militia Inventions <Offensive to Militias>
Return to day index
6th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. HUMOR List Traffic Report
  2. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
  3. Easter <offfensive to some>
  4. Answering Machine Messages Part 7/7
  5. Graduate Math Rankings Change
  6. A diplomat? <off. to some Irishmen>
  7. Higher Ed. <not offensive> & The Love Boat <suggestive>
  8. Suggestive of bestiality
  9. Doctor Doctor!
  10. A little Easter humor
Return to day index
7th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. The bright side of the Mad Cow
  2. US legislators
  3. Q & A (Risque)
  4. Golf
  5. March Maddness
  6. Making a connection <long, off. to Net weenies>
  7. Coke Introduces New 30-Liter Size
  8. Golf lessons [risque]
  9. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish <lots-o-bad-words>
  10. Wash you car? <adult themes>
  11. "King of Kings" Cameo by the Duke
  12. Offensive to your momma
  13. Little Johnnys ASCII Art <graphic nudity>
  14. Angry Dog (Adult)
  15. Good Friends
  16. First Class
  17. Answering machine
  18. Story
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8th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Ladle Rat Rottenhut <offensive to lysdexics>
  2. Reasons I dont believe in the Easter Bunny
  3. Why coffee is better than women <bitter, twisted, sexist>
  4. Quote..unknown + Virus Alert
  5. Press Release: Gun Lobby Endorses Clinton
  6. Q & A (offensive to stock brokers)
  7. Thar She Blows!
  8. Internet Humor (not offensive)
  9. the anit-chain letter
  10. Another Answering Machine Message
  11. Hypocrites
  12. Belgians and Beer
  13. A Young Man Named Hall
  14. Cinderella <gross/sick>
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9th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Thoughts For the Day
  2. USA: Crazy Laws
  3. Ku Klux Kneivel (poss. off. to blacks)
  4. Erotic Bloopers {WARNING: STRONG Sexual Content}
  5. Chain Letter (offensive to some husbands)
  6. Teenage Cyberpunk
  7. An Update of A Gilbert and Sullivan Masterpiece
  8. A Childs Logic
  9. Arms & Diets
  10. Open wide? <adult themes>
  11. Urinalysis
  12. Betting on People <off-color humor>
  13. Miscellaneous -- Inoffensive
  14. Java
  15. The Italian who went to <off. to Italians, suggestive language>
  16. Jesus v. Elvis {may be offensive to ultra religious}
  17. At the gym
  18. A Girl Named ONeill
  19. Light bulb
  20. Poor Rabbit
  21. Tax Quotes
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10th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. new lotion....<some bad words, mildly suggestive>
  2. Quote of the day and some extras
  3. Riddle [politically absolutely incorrect, off. to wymin]
  4. You might be Republican if... (Republican offensive)
  5. Bedridden [may be offensive to old "old maids"]
  6. Income Tax Song
  7. "When In Rome..."
  8. Quotes part 50
  9. Whos next? <adult themes>
  10. The Brady Bunch
  11. A Tale of Two Sammuri
  12. Law on the March
  13. Pillowcase Bandit
  14. A guide to PC...
  15. Urinalysis
  16. Doctor
  17. FBI Interview
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11th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. The creation of the vagina
  2. A Beating <offensive to some Irish & offensive words>
  3. Quotes part 51
  4. Q & A (older woman offensive)
  5. Language Lesson (poss off to Fr Canadians)
  6. How to catch... <poss. slight offensive to women>
  7. Hand Gestures <non-offensive>
  8. Another elevator joke (suggestive and a bit gross)
  9. Out of Sight
  10. Something fishy? <off. to Poles>
  11. Annual Spring Riddle
  12. Slippery stuff
  13. Law on the March
  14. Top 25 Reasons that Hockey is Better than Sex
  15. Feeble joke attempt <offensive to people with a refined sense of humor>
  16. High tech redneck <poss. off. to all us comp. geeks>
  17. Driving in Italy, Part 1 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
  18. Freedom
Return to day index
12th of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Offensive to Nuns
  2. Aadmissions office
  3. Language Purity
  4. Traveling questions...
  5. Language Purity
  6. Passover Joke
  7. Who me? <off. to Gerd Bonk>
  8. Bubbas Revenge
  9. Driving in Italy, Part 2 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
  10. Shakespeare
  11. In The News - May be off. to Montaneons (sp), mad cows, more
  12. Just married
  13. The Boyfriend
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13th of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. Feed em all!
  2. In-law humor
  3. Feed em all!
  4. The Joys of Pregnancy
  5. "How many" joke <offensive to law enforcement>
  6. Photo
  7. Loss of appetite? <some profanity>
  8. Driving in Italy, Part 3 of 3 (May be offensive to Italians)
  9. Who will help me?
  10. Toasters
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14th of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. British Busing
  2. Cable TV & women <off. to none>
  3. Child abuse vs. spousal abuse
  4. Civil War Cuisine <not offensive>
  5. Why Fire the Secretary?
  6. The Night of Tax Day
  7. Sperm -- not really offensive
  8. Why the Ethernet Is Like a Penis <adult theames>
  9. Jury Duty
  10. Quotes - Country & Western Lyrics
  11. Rodney Dangerfield .... Part 3
  12. How Men Decide What to Wear
  13. True Harley riders <not off.>
  14. Wife on the Links
  15. Patriots Day
  16. Top 50 things to say when your roommate is having sex
  17. Military Cooperation ?
  18. Offensive to the Polish
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15th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Pink and Purple <dirty>
  2. Last thoughts during a final
  3. Quotes part 52
  4. The Marketing Husband (Sexual inuendo)
  5. Genitalia on the Beach <Sexually explicit>
  6. Rodney Dangerfield... Part 4 (last)
  7. FBI and Pizza <poss. offensive to the insane>
  8. s.b.d. [flatulent humour]
  9. Family Problems and Victorias Secret (fwd)
  10. Overheard in court (some foul language)
  11. Law on the March
  12. Adam & eave?
  13. Top 10 reasons why 7 yr old Jessica Dubroffs plane crashed (off to 7 year old pilots)
  14. Growing Old
  15. The Governor and the whorehouse (sexually suggestive)
  16. What do you think about this?
  17. The Perils of Adultery <sexual>
  18. The Birth of a Candy Bar <Sexually Suggestive>
  19. Experience
  20. Tint hair contest(possibly offensive to blonds)
  21. Drinking Problem (poss. off. to alcoholics, women, senators)
Return to day index
16th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Another name <sexual>
  2. How to get through a paper
  3. Football
  4. Definitions... or something like that! (not offensive)
  5. Grandpa & little boy <adult themes>
  6. The Drinkers Fault-Finding Guide
  7. The Invisible Man Calls
  8. Ski Trip
  9. Hunting Joke (maybe offensive to Ukranians)
  10. <Offensive to Bikers>
  11. A Big Mistake
  12. No offensive language.
  13. Supermodel Wisdom
  14. Law on the March
  15. Law on the March (Repost)
  16. Military Acronyms (May be off. to Military)
  17. Showers (part 1 of 2)
  18. Girl Scouts <Off. to Girl Scouts, oddly enough>
  19. Elephant joke
  20. Fog
  21. Felix, The Flying Frog
  22. A new pithy saying? <kind of gross>
  23. Lone Ranger and Tonto [May be offensive to cowboys]
  24. Useless humor
  25. Unabomber for President!
Return to day index
17th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Rodney Dangerfield lines
  2. You may be an engineer <off. to engineers ?>
  3. Lawyer Humor <offensive to lawyers>
  4. Noah and batered women <off to batered women>
  5. Quotes part 53
  6. May Be Off. To Older Women
  7. Final Chain Letter
  8. The Hit Man (adult theme)
  9. To Catch a Squirrel (suggestive)
  10. Clinton Poetry <off. to Democrats and Clinton>
  11. New Training <not off., "S" word>
  12. New Priest <maybe off. to catholics>
  13. Ode to Charlie <suggestive, offensive to colorblind>
  14. Ode to Charlie
  15. Pain in the glass?
  16. More Elephant jokes
  17. Getting older, but not wiser.
  18. Cops... Show Key/All
  19. Worst analogies
  20. Law on the March
  21. The Bathroom Military (off. to Marines)
  22. Another assorted humor
  23. Top Ten Geek Pick-Up Lines (Offensive to Geeks and Nerds)
  24. Clintons Queen Berets <Off. to gays, Clinton supporters>
  25. Tom Swifties, part 1
  26. Tenure (offensive to some religious types)
  27. Showers (part 2 of 2)
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18th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Quotes part 54
  2. Why Superman (offensive to Kriptonians)
  3. Penis and chairs ( rude )
  4. Yet more elephant jokes
  5. More Elephants....
  6. Law on the March
  7. Computer mailing lists <not offensive>
  8. Addition to Memorandum
  9. My melancholy baby
  10. Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
  11. Limerick <adult theme, language>
  12. Tom Swiftie
  13. Men and Women (off. language)
  14. Tom Swifties
  15. Graphic...Tom Swiftie
  16. Teed off! <adult themes>
  17. Disconcerting Dole (probably offensive to republicans but funny anyway)
  18. Oxymorons and Arabic expressions <Off. to Arabs & patriots. Sexual mat.>
  19. Safety first <off. to Polish>
  20. Spears
  21. First grade students <one bad word>
  22. Asorted Humor
  23. Permission Slip <harmless>
  24. Military Retirement (offensive language)
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18th of April Topics of the day in this special issue #1:
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  1. Nixon Sighted at Stop n Go
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19th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. (Incredibly Offensive to the Disabled)
  2. Short Alien Joke <Offensive to Aliens>
  3. Education <may offend someone>
  4. What does a nomination paper look like ?
  5. Paratrooper Training (Suggestive, may offend some people)
  6. Nixon Sighted in Roswell UFO Film
  7. Barely Possible (nudity)
  8. Circus Dog
  9. In The News - may be off. to parent killers, Madonna, IRS
  10. Two gays walking down the street <off. to gays>
  11. The Big Bing-O
  12. Mayors first (rejected) speech draft
  13. Tom Swifties, part 2
  14. 30 things to do to "get well" (from card)
  15. Winston Churchill Wit [Not Offensive]
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20th of April Topics of the day:
Txt File
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  1. More Military (Offensive to Airforce... Mabey)
  2. Mice In Animal Heaven
  3. Quotes part 55
  4. Law on the March
  5. Magnificent Pair (suggestive)
  6. Whos got the most guts? (off to militarty other than Navy)
  7. Thisll Gill You
  8. Tomorrow, 3 sizes, Any one got the time
  9. The Plan <The "S" word>
  10. A cute little bunny rabbit
  11. Tonto and the Lone Ranger, #2
  12. A snack? <off. to Christians>
  13. Wrong size? <adult themes>
  14. Country Style CPR <explicit>
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21st of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Too many soaps
  2. Oops! <off to people who call wrong numbers>
  3. Two drunken guys
  4. A woman falling (offensive to all people with sexual problems)
  5. The Lion
  6. Political Humor (off. to politicians (??))
  7. Law on the March
  8. Humorous license plate <not off.>
  9. Top 10 technical writing euphamisms for death...
  10. The Gonzo List of Tom Swifties, Part I
  11. Fiddleing Around
  12. Limericks <suggestive, adult themes>
  13. Another Swiftie
  14. Fishin (adult theme, off. language)
  15. Artist, Tasty Towns, satisfied, Surgeon and teeth
  16. The Buzzphrase Generator
  17. Military might <Off. to some military, off. language>
  18. Redneck Humor <offensive to rednecks>
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22nd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. How to take a Final
  2. Psychology <dirty words, off. to Psychology graduates>
  3. Computer Jargon
  4. Joke about silent farts
  5. It happened at the bar
  6. Stock Offering (scatalogical)
  7. A Buck says youre wrong!
  8. Erma Bombeck
  9. Definition of Chaos <off. to disabled>
  10. Law on the March
  11. Best of both worlds <sexual themes>
  12. Another Tom Swiftie
  13. Another Tom Swiftie
  14. Another Tom Swiftie
  15. Cat Ranch (offensive to cat (and rat) lovers)
  16. Washington State Humor (poss offensive to Californians)
  17. Limerick {suggestive}
  18. Redneck Pickup Line
  19. Being PC at work <Lotsa foul language>
  20. Actual Headlines From The Newspaper! Some old Some New
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23rd of April Topics of the day:
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  1. The Night Before Finals
  2. Blondes Again <May offend someone>
  3. Blonde versus trolley
  4. Language In The Workplace <Profanity>
  5. Anthropology and air travel (suggestive)
  6. A Roy Rope Rogers tale...
  7. Law on the March
  8. Two Unabomber top-ten lists <offensive to the Unabomber>
  9. Law as it should be (suggestive)
  10. Unplanned Parenthood (adult)
  11. I am tired (not off.)
  12. Ten things no man should say at Victorias Secret
  13. Rejections.
  14. Higher Mathematics
  15. A Story with Moral <Adult themes>
  16. Churchill Wit #2 [May be offensive to Tongans]
  17. Cute true story <approved for all ages>
  18. New Viruses
  19. Did you hear about... [*extremely* insensitive to the terminally ill]
  20. The Proper Perspective (mildly suggestive)
  21. Unsuccessful Greeting Cards (maybe offensive)
  22. 36 Politically Correct Ways to say Someone is Stupid
  23. The Acrobat <Adult theme>
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24th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Anagrams
  2. Response
  3. Annoying people (1/5) <off. to most>
  4. Women and rats (offensive to rats)
  5. Women and horses ( offensive to both )
  6. HUMOR Digest - 24 Apr 1996
  7. Captain Hawley
  8. Horny Prisoner <Adult Language>
  9. Scoring bird <offensive language>
  10. 5th Graders Research
  11. Another new virus
  12. A lite snack? <adult themes>
  13. 5th Graders, etc.
  14. To Catch a Squirrel II
  15. The Unix Biography <long, a bit offensive>
  16. Quotes 56
  17. Law on the March
  18. To Catch a Squirrel
  19. "No" <offensive to Poles, Germans, rape victims>
  20. Funny English Language
  21. Yankee
  22. Triple Martinis
  23. Descendants of Jack <implied profanity>
  24. The Last Full Deck List - Part 1
  25. The Heavenly Marriage. <offensive to everyone>
  26. Baptist humor (not offensive)
  27. Tom Swifties, part 3
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25th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. One liner
  2. Annoying people (2/5) <off to most>
  3. Barbie & GI Joe <Adult themes>
  4. Two from my brother <off. to Catholics and Michael Jackson>
  5. Tom Swifties, the end?
  6. Top ten reason why TV is better than the web
  7. Quotes part 57
  8. Ali
  9. Funny poem (offensive to women)
  10. Ole and Lenas Outhouse
  11. Ole and Lena (risque)
  12. Full-Deckisms, Part II
  13. Top ten reasons why Scooby Doo was a drug influenced cartoon <off. cartoon lovers>
  14. In The News - May be off. to the IRS, lawyers, the Unabomber
  15. Law on the March
  16. "New Yorker" cartoon
  17. Computer Literacy <offensive to stupid people>
  18. Assorted humor
  19. Some old sniglets
  20. Golf Therapy (slightly sexual)
  21. Medical Advice (suggestive)
  22. Air Force Bake Sale
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26th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Annoying people (3/5) <off to most>
  2. Quotes part 58
  3. All-Purpose Speech
  4. Assorted humor
  5. Cusswords <off. to gays>
  6. Employment Application (Off to blacks)
  7. Dime goes a long way (Off to Polish & Italians)
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27th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Rape (women offensive)
  2. Law on the March
  3. Not in My Backyard!
  4. Business Joke Of the day (S word)
  5. Assorted humor
  6. Identification <May offend my Irish relatives>
  7. Menendez Bros. Lightbulb
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28th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Annoying people (4/5) <off to most>
  2. Length differences (vulgar!!!!)
  3. Annoying people (5/5) <off to most>
  4. What if Operating Systems ran Airlines?
  5. Our Government at work for our "benefit"
  6. Man vs. Woman
  7. Real-Life Classified Ads
  8. Limerick - (offensive to Gays)
  9. Law on the March
  10. Full-Deckisms, Part III
  11. Elephant joke (in bad taste, gross)
  12. Cletus and Cooter(redneck humor)
  13. HUMOR Digest - 6 Jul 1995 to 7 Jul 1995
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29th of April Topics of the day in this special issue #1:
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  1. Rejection Notice
  2. Tom Swifty
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29th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. O.J. Simpsons Address
  2. Beavis and butthead pickup lines <suggestive>
  3. Another elephant joke (gross)
  4. Una de crias ( vulgar )
  5. A whale of a joke
  6. Taxi Drivers go to Heaven <off to religious>
  7. Bovine Solutions
  8. A simple question of a chicken?
  9. Full Deckisms, Part IV
  10. Law on the March
  11. Questions [non-offensive]
  12. At the bus stop <offensive to the disabled?>
  13. Response to the Communications Decency Act
  14. Summer Classes
  15. Fresh reworking of old themes
  16. What Makes Junior Jump
  17. Dont Touch that Button! (Vulgar language, mildly offensive)
  18. Tom said doggedly
  19. Joke <adult material>
  20. Technical Harassment
  21. Bob Doles hair color (off to Bob Dole)
  22. Doles Wit (off to a dwindling minority)
  23. Cows (Im from Wisconsin)1/13
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30th of April Topics of the day:
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  1. Chinese Books... (Off to Chinese, animal lovers)
  2. Are you an asshole? (1/2) <bad words and more>
  3. How to join the Royal Canadian Mounties <may be offensive to women>
  4. Stewardess (offensive to blondes, f*** word)
  5. You might be an engineer if... (may be offensive to engineers)
  6. Divorce <Offensive to hillbillies, blacks, & lawyers>
  7. Golf Ball
  8. Cows 2/13
  9. Kids Comments on Love (Part 1 of 2)
  10. A Home Run ... the hard way
  11. Top 10 Things Not to Say to Parents <non-offensive>
  12. Mad cow solutions <offensive to mad cows>
  13. Full Deck-isms, Part V
  14. Fly Ball (sexual)
  15. Baseball <suggestive>
  16. Q & A (offensive to lesbians)
  17. Success (sexual)
  18. Fart Calendar (vulgar language)
  19. Cows 3/13
  20. Cows 4/13
  21. Freedom? <not offensive>
  22. A Mathematician joke <poss. off. to mathematicians wives>
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