Digest for Monday, November 11, 1996

There are 8 messages totalling 209 lines in this issue.




Topics of the day:

  1. Blond Joke
  2. True Story...(East end types)
  3. Job insecurity
  4. package
  5. Piece of meat
  6. parrots
  7. Rabbi and Priest
  8. Thank you and a Zoology Exam story


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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 03:37:34 -0500
From:    VAN ZYL JA <KLD104@KLD1.PWV.GOV.ZA>
Subject: Blond Joke <Off. to Blond's>

This two ladies,one with red hair and the other one blond,
went to a nice restaurant to have lunch.

The waiter asks the blonde if she would like something to
drink,and she ordered a pepsi,and the lady with the red hair,
oredered a double bols and coke.

After the waiter have left,the blond says that she was'nt
aware that she could have order anything like that.

When the waiter returned with the orders,she asked him to
cancel the pepsi,and bring something else instead.Sure the
waiter replied,what will it be then ?

Two dicks and a pepsi please !

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Date:    Wed, 11 Nov 0105 11:37:41 PST
From:    Joseph Stone <joseph@BCOLL.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject: True Story...(East end types)

*This is a bit of a longer one - I hope you like this one too!*

In the East End of London there was a pair of brothers who no-one ever dared
to mess with. However one foolish friend of theirs played a particually nasty

prank on one of the brother's stag night. I never heard what the prank was
but it was enough to seriously rattle the brother.
Many years later, our foolish friend decided to get married himself. He still
knew the two brothers and he was in constant fear of them getting their
revenge. All the way through his stag night he was constantly worrying about
what they would do to him. However, everything went smoothly and nothing
happened.This just made the fellow even more nervous - he was sure that they
were going to try and pull something at the reception and embarrass him in
front
of his new wife and her family. But the wedding and the reception went just
as
smoothly as the stag night. When he set off on his honeymoon with his wife
the man decided that the brothers must have forgotton his prank and he
started to relax for the first time in ages.
When he arrived at the hotel with his new wife it was getting late already
and so they set to work consumating their marriage. In the morning they
both awoke felling rather hungry and decided that they could treat
themselves to room service. Our friend used the phone:
"Hello, this is the bridal suite, we'd like two continental breakfasts and
a bottle of champagne,"
Just then two voices called out from under the bed:
"Better make that FOUR breakfasts........."

Posted by Joseph Stone - Our man in England....

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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 14:00:19 +0200
From:    Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@IAFRICA.COM>
Subject: Job insecurity <clean>

My father worked in a factory. One day, he came home early, looking
totally devastated.
My mother asked him: "What happened?" and he said: "I got fired."
"Why?"
"Well, you know, I have been made redundant, because at the factory,
they have introduced this gadget that does everything I do, only much
better."

And my mother rushed out to buy that gadget.

-------------------------
The first time I made love was in a small, cramped Italian car. It
was there that I lost my virginity. To the gear stick.

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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 19:32:46 +0000
From:    reina <reina@NTEP.TMG.NEC.CO.JP>
Subject: package

A friend of mine is about to mail a Bible to a relative in a Distant City.
The clerk examined the package carefully and asked if it contained anything
breakable. 'Nothing but the Ten Commandments',his quick reply.
---
reina@ntep.ntep.tmg.nec.co.jp

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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 08:17:00 -0500
From:    VAN ZYL JA <KLD104@KLD1.PWV.GOV.ZA>
Subject: Piece of meat <Off. to women>

Q: What do you call the useless piece of meat,
   attached to a pussy ?

A: A women
 *************************************************
  Johan Van Zyl
  Private Bag XA3                     \|/
  Klerksdorp 2570                     @-@
  South Africa                         !
                                      (-)
  Ph  : 018-464-1813
  Fax : 018-462-8121
  e-mail :kld104@kld1.pwv.gov.za
 *************************************************

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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 09:49:04 -0500
From:    Cereal Killer <lvermont@UWIMONA.EDU.JM>
Subject: Re: parrots

On Sun, 8 Nov 105, Joseph Stone wrote:
> This is my first posting, i hope you like it..
>
> *What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
> *A carrot.....
>
> >From Joseph Stone - Our man in England

Yes, I liked it, good one!
             _  _____________________________________  _
            / )|         -=Cereal Killer=-           |( \
           / / |  lvermont@minotaur.uwimona.edu.jm   | \ \
         _( (_ |     BBS:LEE_VERMONT@TOL.COM.JM      | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/->_____________________________<-\_|</ /)))
        (\\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////)
         \       /  "Cereal Killer Strikes again,  \       /
          \    _/     Cap'n Crunch found dead."     \_    /
          /   /                                       \   \
                   Surf by http://www.tol.com.jm

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Date:    Mon, 11 Nov 1996 14:01:01 -0500
From:    Sue Sevin <SueS7@AOL.COM>
Subject: Rabbi and Priest <Off to Catholics/Jews>

A priest and a rabbi were talking about their vocations and the priest said,
"How could you give up all kinds of pork!  I could never give up bacon, pork
chops, and ham.  Especially ham!  Come on, rabbi, didn't you ever cheat?
 Didn't you EVER try ham?"  asked the priest.

"Ok, father, I confess, I did try ham once," said the rabbi, " and it was
really good."

"I knew it!" the priest gloated.

"But what about you, father," the rabbi asked, "having to give up sex and
remain celibate your whole life has to be hard.  Come on, tell your old
friend, didn't you ever once have sex with a woman?"

"Well, ok, yes just once I did give in and sin, I had sex with a woman." said
the priest.

"Its a lot better than ham, isn't it?"

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Date:    Tue, 12 Nov 1996 05:51:56 +1100
From:    Stephen Webster <farside@MAILBOX.UQ.EDU.AU>
Subject: Thank you and a Zoology Exam story <clean>

Thanks to everyone who sent the Real Life Cybersex IRC log to me - it was
hilarious! Since it's exam time for me, the following seemed apt (I don't
know who wrote it):

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology
test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with te=
n
birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sa=
t
right on the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The
professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird le=
gs
and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, etc.

The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to
him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now
had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the
madder he got. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He went up to the
professor=92s desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell t=
he
difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that the student
threw his test on the professor=92s desk and walked out the door.

The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn=92t know e=
very
student=92s name, so as the student reached the door the professor called=
,
"Mister, what=92s your name?"

The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, "You guess, buddy!
You guess!"

___________________________________________/\____________________________=
__
Steve Webster                             /  \    farside@mailbox.uq.edu.=
au
Help Wanted: Telepath...                 /    \ farside@acslink.aone.net.=
au
You know where to apply           ______/      \___ websters@ozemail.com.=
au=20

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