The Humor List
 

Digest for Monday, July 14, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. The Shopping Cart (George Matyjewicz)
2. In great detail (Anna Welander)
3. Writin' (Paul Benoit)
4. In the workplace (Maurizio Mariotti)
5. Golf (Grady Lacy)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 12:08:15 -0400
From: George Matyjewicz
Subject: The Shopping Cart

My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So, when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance.

A full year went by before he got a call that could be traced to those placards.

"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.

"That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?"

"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard and I want you to come and get it."

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Message: 2
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 21:42:41 +0200
From: Anna Welander,
Subject: In great detail

One day, at the dry-cleaning shop of a local Air Force Base, I overheard a young airman describe in great detail how he wanted his uniform cleaned and pressed. When he finished, the counter clerk asked, "Are you getting an award, or do you have an important military function to attend?"

"Nothing like that," the airman said. "I'm going home on leave, and my little brother is taking me to his second-grade class for show-and-tell."

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Message: 3
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 07:10:18 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: Writin'

[excerpted from The Old Perfesser's diary]

Dear Diary,
They say it's, "i before e except after c."
Weird.

- The Old Perfesser

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Message: 4
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 14:43:05 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: In the workplace <adultish>

Boss: "Who said that just because I grabbed your ass at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?"

Secretary: "My lawyer."

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Message: 5
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 10:10:05 -0400
From: Grady Lacy
Subject: Golf

"It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." - Mark Twain

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

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