The Humor List
 

Digest for Friday, July 11, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. Lion Tamer <Adultish> (Richard Nehrbass)
2. Two black eyes <adultish> (Maurizio Mariotti)
3. It's Our Anniversary!!! (Paul Benoit)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 16:47:02 -0700
From: Richard Nehrbass
Subject: Lion Tamer <adultish>

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired gentleman and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and roar and begins to charge her.

About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the old gentleman and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old retiree replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index


Message: 2
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 11:14:08 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: Two black eyes <adultish>

Pauly walks into the bar with two black eyes. His drinking buddy Maury asks what happened.

Pauly says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" Maury asks.

"Well," Pauly says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index


Message: 3
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 08:05:01 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: It's Our Anniversary!!!

I remember way back when it was our 25th wedding anniversary ...

I decided to send my wife some flowers, and I instructed the florist to write on the card: "From Paul: Happy Anniversary, Year Number 25!"

MrsPBen was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card - it read: "From Paul: Happy Anniversary, You're Number 25!"

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index



 
 
ARCHIVE NAVIGATION
TRAFFIC REPORT
MONTHLY
ARCHIVE HOME
MONTHY POST INDEXES
TRAFFIC REPORT
YEARLY
MAIN SITE NAVIGATION
HOME SUBSCRIBE THE RULES F.A.Q.
TRAFFIC REPORT CONTRIBUTORS HISTORY BIOGRAPHIES
 
CONTACT
DOUG HARTER
WEBMASTERS
Douglas Harter
Sandy Sibert
CONTACT
SANDY(AKA MsSam)