The Humor List
 

Digest for Friday, June 20, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. Close Call (George Matyjewicz)
2. Dear Diary (Maurizio Mariotti)
3. Good Morning, May I Take Your Order? (Paul Benoit)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:31:47 -0400
From: George Matyjewicz
Subject: Close Call

So there I was walking when I see this blonde who apparently decided to ride a horse for the first time. Without any instruction she hopped on and took off at full gallop. Everything was fine for a minute until she started losing her grip and began sliding down the side of the horse. She started grasping desperately at the reigns and the horse's mane. The horse kept its pace up as she bounced up and down on the ground with the horse's hooves pounding away inches from her head.

The horse might have killed her if it were not for an alert Wal-Mart greeter who ran over and unplugged the thing!

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Message: 2
Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2014 09:03:12 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: Dear Diary

[Excerpted from MM's secret diary]

Dear Diary,
The insurance company rejected my (admittedly large) claim.

Did they actually expect me to have a real accident where I fall from the roof and break both my legs, instead of faking it?

Insensitive hard-nosers.

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Message: 3
Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2014 07:57:57 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: Good Morning, May I Take Your Order?

"A vodka, please."
"Sir, this is McDonald's."
"Okay, then, a McVodka, please...."

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