The Humor List
 

Digest for Sunday, May 18, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. Baby Food (George Matyjewicz)
2. History lesson <political> (Richard Nehrbass)
3. Dear Diary (Maurizio Mariotti)
4. We're Mad, I Tell You, MAD!! <political> (Paul Benoit)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Sun, 18 May 2014 14:18:18 -0400
From: George Matyjewicz
Subject: Baby Food

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

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Message: 2
Date: Sun, 18 May 2014 13:43:22 -0700
From: Richard Nehrbass
Subject: History lesson <political>

Do you know what happened 161 years ago this fall?
California became a state. The people had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish and there were gunfights in the streets. So, basically nothing has changed except back then the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands. That, my friends, is the history lesson for today.

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Message: 3
Date: Mon, 19 May 2014 10:31:06 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: Dear Diary

[Excerpted from MM's secret diary]

Dear Diary,
I am rewriting the old adage, "Give a man a fish..." and this is my first draft:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to rob banks and when he's caught he will be fed at the expenses of the State for a long time -- unless he's killed in a shootout with the cops, in which case he will not have to worry about mundane things like eating.

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Message: 4
Date: Mon, 19 May 2014 06:30:57 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: We're Mad, I Tell You, MAD!! <political>

OPERATION AMERICAN SPRING: WE'RE TAKIN' BACK OUR GUBBMINT!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Yep. That was this past weekend....
Retired Army Col. Harry Riley, the leader of Operation American Spring, explained his group's plans in an interview: "It is unclear how this will all unravel but we are calling for the removal of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi, and Eric Holder as a start toward constitutional restoration. They have all abandoned the US Constitution, are unworthy to be retained in a position that calls for servant status."

From their website:
Operation American Spring - Beginning Of Tyranny Housecleaning
http://operationamericanspring.org/
http://patriotsforamerica.ning.com/

Concept of Operations:
Phase 1 - Field millions, as many as ten million, patriots who will assemble in a peaceful, non-violent, physically unarmed (Spiritually/Constitutionally armed), display of unswerving loyalty to the US Constitution and against the incumbent government leadership, in Washington, D.C., with the mission to replace with law abiding leadership. Go full-bore, no looking back, steadfast in the mission.

[Isn't there some way in the Constitution to do what he's asking ... say, vote 'em out, or impeach?? Just askin']

Phase 2 - One million or more of the assembled 10 million must be prepared to stay in D.C. as long as it takes to see Obama, Biden, Reid, McConnell, Boehner, Pelosi, and Attorney General Holder removed from office.

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