The Humor List
 

Digest for Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. The way women consider things (Richard Nehrbass) DELETED - PUBLISHED 04/07/2014
2. English funnies <some off-colored> (Maurizio Mariotti)
3. Stupid Doctor (Paul Benoit)
4. Waterloo (George Matyjewicz)
5. Curiosity kills the cat (Lee Bradley)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Tue, 22 Apr 2014 16:04:51 -0700
From: Richard Nehrbass
Subject: The way women consider things DELETED - PUBLISHED 04/07/2014

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Message: 2
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 09:57:31 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: English funnies <some off-colored>

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

"IT'S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!" And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel.

A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?"
Granny replies, "Screw the pills, have you seen the pink dragons in the kitchen?"

An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the husband leans over and says to his wife, "I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?"
She replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

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Message: 3
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 06:34:26 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: Stupid Doctor

I was visiting my mother one day when she passed the candy dish full of chocolates and took one for herself.

"I thought your doctor told you to stop eating candy," I said.

"Oh, I don't have to listen to him anymore," she replied.

"Why not?"

"He died."

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Message: 4
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 07:08:21 -0400
From: George Matyjewicz
Subject: Waterloo

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he's sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I'll have another waterloo."

The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man's drink may be a specialty of the house, he says, "I'll have a waterloo, too."

The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and the customer takes a big drink.

"Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water. Right, Lou"?

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Message: 5
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 09:30:52 -0400
From: Lee Bradley
Subject: Curiosity kills the cat

Two young sophisticates were taking a noon-time stroll along the beach at Saint-Tropez. Says one, "You know, I'm not overly curious, but I'd still like to know whom I went to bed with late this morning."

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