The Humor List
 

Digest for Friday, March 21, 2014

Topics of the day:
1. In the Convent <disrespectful> (Maurizio Mariotti)
2. Daze of the Weak (Stan Kegel)
3. BANNED!! <political> (Paul Benoit)
4. Carlsbad <adult> (Lee Bradley)

________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:40:45 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject: In the Convent <disrespectful>

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of Chardonnay ..."

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index


Message: 2
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 03:35:04 -0700
From: Stan Kegel
Subject: Daze of the Weak

Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it's a workday again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.

Many people are too busy to cook on the second day of the week, and just open a can of beans. Hence the day is known as Tootsday.

By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get everything done this week that they need to do, hence the day is know as Whensday.

Too bleary to even count properly, people think it's only day three of the week on the next day, Therefore it's erroneously called Thirdsday.

On the last day of the work week, people often go out "for a few" after work. By the time they get home, they're too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken , or fish in the skillet. That's why the day is known as Fryday.

Saturday night all singles let loose. There's a lot of sexual hi-jinks. It's pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday.

And on the last day of the week and the weekend, people look at all the items on their 'To do' list that didn't get crossed out, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won't keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday. (Cynthia MacGregor)

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index


Message: 3
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:03:25 -0400
From: Paul Benoit
Subject: BANNED!! <political>

Senator Dan Coats [R-IN] was included in Russia's retaliatory sanctions against several U.S. legislators ...
He took to Twitter to list: https://twitter.com/SenDanCoats

THE TOP 10 THINGS I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO SINCE PUTIN BANNED ME FROM RUSSIA
10. I won't be able to complete my granddaughter's Russian doll collection
9. I won't be able to compare the Bolshoi Opera House with the Palladium in Carmel
8. I'll never learn the Russian name for our dog Hoosier
7. I won't be able to ski on the slushy slopes of Sochi
6. I won't be able to buy Marsha a Russian mink coat for Christmas
5. I won't be able to counsel Duma members on how to say no to a President
4. I'll have to cancel my tennis match with Maria Sharapova
3. I won't be able to compare Russiaville, IN with Russia
2. I won't be able to see if borscht really does taste just like pork tenderloin
1. Our summer vacation in Siberia is a no-go

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index


Message: 4
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:46:44 -0400
From: Lee Bradley
Subject: Carlsbad <adult>

A certain woman (you know who that is!) goes to the gynecologist for an exam. He has her installed on the examination table and asks her to open her legs. "My! What a large one! My head is spinning! My head is spinning! My head is spinning! My head is spinning!"

"Fine and good, doctor," she says. "Get on with the exam and stop repeating yourself."

"I'm not repeating anything; it's the echo."

Return to Topics Return to Daily Topics Return to Monthly Index



 
 
ARCHIVE NAVIGATION
TRAFFIC REPORT
MONTHLY
ARCHIVE HOME
MONTHY POST INDEXES
TRAFFIC REPORT
YEARLY
MAIN SITE NAVIGATION
HOME SUBSCRIBE THE RULES F.A.Q.
TRAFFIC REPORT CONTRIBUTORS HISTORY BIOGRAPHIES
 
CONTACT
DOUG HARTER
WEBMASTERS
Douglas Harter
Sandy Sibert
CONTACT
SANDY(AKA MsSam)