Digest for Friday, November 11, 2011

There are 5 messages totalling 283 lines in this issue.




Topics of the day:

  1. 11/11/11
  2. 30 RULES OF COMBAT
  3. 45 lessons life taught me
  4. Insurance Tale
  5. How to Turn Down Unwanted Men


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Date:    Fri, 11 Nov 2011 07:47:18 -0500
From:    Paul Benoit <phyfendrum@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: 11/11/11

When Abraham Lincoln was captain of an Illinois militia unit,
the "Bucktail Rangers," in 1832 during the Black Hawk war, he
was as ignorant of military matters as his company was of drill
and tactics.

On one occasion his troop, marching in platoon formation, was
confronted by a fence. Captain Lincoln had no idea of the proper
order, but his quick wit did not desert him.

"Company dismissed for two minutes," he commanded. "At the end
of that time, fall in on the other side of the fence."



*******************
HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY
http://wagenweb.org/whatcom/militaryrecords/GARReunionFerndale.jpg




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Date:    Fri, 11 Nov 2011 08:01:17 -0800
From:    Sandy (AKA MsSam) <sandy@SSIBERT911.COM>
Subject: 30 RULES OF COMBAT

1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire.
2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at.
4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.
5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.
6. Remember: your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder.
7. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
8. Never share a cockpit with someone braver than you.
9. You are not Tom Cruise.
10. Incoming fire has the right of way.
11. Professionals are predictable--it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
12. If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good 
idea.
13. Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.
14. Smart bombs have bad days too.
15. The best defense is to stay out of range.
16. If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.
17. If your attack is going well, you've just walked into an ambush.
18. If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
19. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
20. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
21. All five-second grenade fuses are three seconds.
22. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
23. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
24. Tracers work both ways.
25. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
26. The easy way is always mined.
27. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
28. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
29. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get
out.
30. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
     - When you're ready for them.
     - When you're not.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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Date:    Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:03:50 -0800
From:    Richard <gbis-reply-100@GBIS.COM>
Subject: 45 lessons life taught me

1.    Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
=20
2.    When in doubt, just take the next small step.
=20
3.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.  Change the way you =
think.
=20
4.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends =
and family will.  Stay in touch.
=20
5.    Pay off your credit cards every month.
=20
6.    You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.
=20
7.    Cry with someone.  It's more healing than crying alone.
=20
8.    Release your children when they become adults, it's their life now
=20
9.    Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
=20
10.  When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
=20
11.  Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
=20
12.  It's OK to let your children see you cry.
=20
13.  Don't compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their =
journey is all about.
=20
14.  If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
=20
15.  Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
=20
16.  Take a deep breath It calms the mind.
=20
17.  Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
=20
18.  Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
=20
19.  It's never too late to have a happy childhood.  But the second one =
is up to you and no one else.
=20
20.  When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no =
for an answer.
=20
21.  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  =
Don't save it for a special occasion.  Today is special.
=20
22.  Just because you believe you are right, doesn't mean you are.  Keep =
an open mind
=20
23.  Be eccentric now.  Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
=20
24.  The most important sex organ is the brain.
=20
25.  No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
=20
26.  Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, =
will this matter?'
=20
27.  Always choose life.
=20
28.  Forgive everyone everything.
=20
29.  What other people think of you is none of your business.
=20
30.  Time heals almost everything.  Give time time.
=20
31.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
=20
32.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.
=20
33.  Believe in miracles.
=20
34.  Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.
=20
35.  Don't audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.
=20
36.  Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
=20
37.  Your children get only one childhood.
=20
38.  All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
=20
39.  Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.
=20
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd =
grab ours back.
=20
41.  Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.
=20
42.  The best is yet to come...
=20
43.  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
=20
44.  Yield.
=20
45.  Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

************************
Found in my Inbox, it may or may not be true!
Laugh often, it's the best medicine!
Richard Nehrbass
www.jokesnstuff.us
Join the UGA HumorList: http://thehumorlist.com

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Date:    Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:36:00 -0400
From:    Phil Glowatz <PhilGlowatz@VERIZON.NET>
Subject: Insurance Tale

Airman Craig was assigned to the induction center, where
he advised new recruits about their government benefits,
especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Craig had
almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of
the room and listened to Craig's sales pitch.  Craig
explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits,
and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle
and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your
beneficiaries.  If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into
battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a
maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are
going to send into battle first?"


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Date:    Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:06:00 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: How to Turn Down Unwanted Men

He:  Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually I'd rather have the money.

He:  Hi. Didn't we go out once or twice?
She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

He:  Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

He:  Your face must turn a few heads.
She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

He:  I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?

He:  What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

He:  Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He:  Haven't I seen you some place before?
She: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

He:  Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

He:  So, what do you do for a living?
She: I'm a female impersonator.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Bill Stebbins
Live well, Laugh often, Love much...

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