Digest for Wednesday, November 02, 2011

There are 5 messages totalling 184 lines in this issue.




Topics of the day:

  1. In Therapy
  2. More Trash
  3. CREATION AS TOLD BY THE CAT
  4. Bummer (not applicable in CA)
  5. Things That Make You Go Hmmm


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Date:    Wed, 2 Nov 2011 09:04:39 +0200
From:    Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@VENTURENET.CO.ZA>
Subject: In Therapy

Pauly goes to a psychiatrist. "Doctor," he says, "I feel as if I'm two
different people! Two completely different personalities. Sometimes
even three or four!!! Do you think I need help? Can you help me? Am I
doing the right thing seeing a psychiatrist?"

"Stop! Stop!" says the doctor. "Please, one at a time."


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Date:    Wed, 2 Nov 2011 05:03:44 -0400
From:    Paul Benoit <phyfendrum@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: More Trash

Tsunami Debris Approaching U.S.
. . . . . . TheOnion.com


Debris from the Japanese tsunami in March is now approaching Hawaii
and is predicted to hit the West Coast of the U.S. in three years.
What do you think?


Keith Philipp, Furniture Assembler
"Oh, no! Youíre telling me that itís just a matter of time before
slightly more shit washes up onto Venice Beach?"

Oren Blaine, Landscaper
"Crap, all the good stuff will probably be gone by then."

Vicky Zimmerman, Engineer
"At least that gives me enough time to prepare my daughter before
all the bloated and rotting Hello Kitty corpses wash ashore."



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Date:    Wed, 2 Nov 2011 07:04:38 -0700
From:    Sandy (AKA MsSam) <sandy@SSIBERT911.COM>
Subject: CREATION AS TOLD BY THE CAT

On the first day of creation, God created the cat.

On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.

On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential
food for the cat.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good
of the cat.

On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might
not play with it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the
man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litter box.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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Date:    Wed, 2 Nov 2011 16:49:19 -0400
From:    Lee Bradley <brad8688@BELLSOUTH.NET>
Subject: Bummer <adult>  (not applicable in CA)

from Brother Jon:

I'm not a prude, just a wrinkled nude,
but now the mayor thinks I'm rude.
So I can't eat with a bare seat,
or sit on a bench--well, ain't that neat.
I did my part.  I didn't fart
in public, near the faint of heart.
My butt has germs, or so I'd learned;
the newspaper's flyer I hadn't spurned:
"If you go bare, then put 'er there."
And so I did.  I really cared.
But it did not good.  My shriveled wood
cannot be seen near people's food.
Rules are best, unless I'M the pest.
Just regulate Wall Street.  Be my guest.
Only let my rear, which I hold dear,
take the air without any fear.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/11/restaurant-patrons-in-san-francisco-must-wear-clothing-while-dining-out-.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+lanowblog+%28L.A.+Now%29

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Date:    Thu, 3 Nov 2011 00:24:00 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Things That Make You Go Hmmm

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after
another.

The most adorable bride of today will be someone's mother-in-law
in the future.

Punctual people have nothing better to do.

People who want by the yard, but try by the inch, should be kicked
by the foot!

Nothing tastes as good as slim feels.

Save time . . . see it my way.

The only thing you have to do is breathe; Everything else is just
optional.

People spend their health for wealth . . . then spend their wealth
for health.

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something
else.

Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.

Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

The closest some people ever get to a 4.0 in school is their blood
alcohol content.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.

Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up!! You don't know where it's been!!"

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Bill Stebbins
Live well, Laugh often, Love much...

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