Digest for Tuesday, November 01, 2011

There are 6 messages totalling 225 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. Ive Joined
  3. Complete Idiot?
  4. Little Johnny...ADULT( off to Muslims)
  5. Brunette Jokes
  6. Unruly Class


Date:    Tue, 1 Nov 2011 07:46:00 -0400
From:    Paul Benoit <phyfendrum@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: I've Joined

[excerpted from The Old Perfesser's diary]


Dear Diary=2C
I've joined the AAAAA....
The =91American Association Against Alliterative Abbreviations.=92
- The Old Perfesser

------------------------------------------------To join the UGA HumorList=
=2C to view the archives=2Cor for more information: http://TheHumorList.com=
------------------------------------------------   =20

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Date:    Tue, 1 Nov 2011 05:05:51 -0700
From:    Sandy (AKA MsSam) <sandy@SSIBERT911.COM>

Mitzi was sitting in a coffee shop when a man she recognized walked in. She
said, "Hey, Ronny! Wow, look at you. When I knew you, you had a headful of hair,
and now you're bald, plus you shaved off your mustache and you're wearing

The guy replies, "I'm not Ronny, my name is Albert Moro."

"Wow!!" says Mitzi, "You changed your name, too!"

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Date:    Tue, 1 Nov 2011 09:41:54 -0400
From:    Grady Lacy <gradylacy@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Complete Idiot?

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
    --Wise Crack of Dawn

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Date:    Tue, 1 Nov 2011 07:58:55 -1000
From:    Mickey <mhennigan@HAWAII.RR.COM>
Subject: Little Johnny...ADULT( off to Muslims)

 Little Johnny

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at

The 1st kid says "A computer". The teacher replies "That'd be very useful."

The 2nd kid says "a new lawn mower" and gets a similar response.

Little Johnny pops up and says " At my house we don't need nothin."

The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure..........".  "When my sister started
going out with a Muslim, I remember my dad saying, "Well, that's the last
fucking thing we need."

Found in my in-box. Author unknown to me, it may or may not be true! I don't
care if it's funny!

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Date:    Tue, 1 Nov 2011 18:27:00 -0400
From:    Phil Glowatz <PhilGlowatz@VERIZON.NET>
Subject: Brunette Jokes

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
       A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

  What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
        No one else wants it.

  Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
        So brunettes can remember them.

  What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

  What's a brunette's mating call?
       "Has the blonde left yet? "

  Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
        The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

  Why is the brunette considered an evil color?
         When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

  What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
         The invitation

  What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
         A hostage

  Who makes bras for brunettes?

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Date:    Wed, 2 Nov 2011 00:21:00 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Unruly Class

The chairman of the Board Of Education was visiting a country
school one day.  While in a meeting with the principal and
administrators, he was distracted by the noise from the classroom
next door to the office.

Angrily, he walked over to the classroom, opened the door, walked
in and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most
of the talking. He dragged the boy back to the office and sat him
down in a vacant room.

"This is your time out!" he barked. "You will learn not to be so

"But..." he began.

"Don't 'but' me!" The chairman snapped. "Just stay there!"

The chairman then returned to the meeting. A few minutes later, a
small boy knocked on the office door.

"Yes?" the chairman said as he answered the door.

"Please, sir," the boy pleaded, "May we have our teacher back?"

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Bill Stebbins
Live well, Laugh often, Love much...

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