Digest for Saturday, November 06, 2004

There are 8 messages totalling 350 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. Distrust of Media Could Unite Divided Nation
  2. Makes you wonder, doesnt it?
  3. This & That.....
  4. Would That Make Us ...?
  5. November 6th - Sadie Hawkins Day
  6. *Australian Vacation*
  7. Grind
  8. Walking to School


Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 05:22:20 -0500
From:    Paul Benoit <phyfendrum@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Distrust of Media Could Unite Divided Nation

            By John Breneman

Following through on his pledge to heal the bitterly divided nation, President Bush joined Sen. John Kerry today to introduce a bipartisan national dialogue about the sorry state of "the Media."

Republicans hold contempt for the elite liberal media as exemplified by the New York Times, while Democrats blast organizations like Fox News for brainwashing gullible viewers with right-wing propaganda.

And polls show growing disgust over the Media's failure to provide the citizenry with the complete, unbiased information it needs to make decisions vital to our democracy.

In fact, many are now blaming the Media for failing to prevent the war in Iraq by more vigorously questioning the president and his men about the phony weapons of mass destruction and the dishonest effort to link Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.

The Media could not be reached for comment, but an anonymous source close to the media said Howard Fineman will be covering the story in this week's Newsweek, then pontificating about it on Crossfire, Hardball, The O'Reilly Factor and Imus in the Morning.

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 06:35:09 -0600
From:    Les Pourciau <pourciau@MEMPHIS.EDU>
Subject: Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6
   years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning
    their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
    Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white
    paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane,
    just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for
    a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women
    who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

They are all true....Now go back and think about #16

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 08:25:49 -0500
From:    Terry Galan <galante@MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: This & That.....

1. Innovative;
2. Preliminary;
3. Proliferation;
4. Cinnamon.

1. Specificity;
2. British Constitution;
3. Passive-aggressive disorder.

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; 2. Nope, no more beer for me; 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type; 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


Thought for the day ......

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 08:53:17 -0500
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Would That Make Us ...?

Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.

Billy-Bob asked Bubba, "If I snuck ovah to your house while you wuz out fishin' an' banged your wife, an' she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?"

Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, "I don't think so...
but it shore would make us even."


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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 06:01:36 -0800
From:    Sandy - AKA Ms Sam <sandy@CHUCKLESOFCHOICE.COM>
Subject: November 6th - Sadie Hawkins Day <ADULT THEME>

Today is the 311th day of the year, with only 55 days remaining in 2004.
November 6th - Sadie Hawkins Day
The first Saturday in November is the special day of the year for women = to ask men out on dates. This tradition grew out of Al Capp's "Li'l Abner" comic strip. = Sadie Hawkins was the name of a character in the comic strip. She was so ugly that her = father, the mayor of Dogpatch, was afraid he'd never get her married. So he declared Sadie = Hawkins Day where all unmarried women in Dogpatch could chase the unmarried men. Any woman = who caught a man got to marry him in a shotgun wedding. Here's a description of the first = Sadie Hawkins Day celebrated on a college campus in 1938: = http://www.uchaswv.edu/library/sadie.html.
Sam moves into a nursing home. As he looks over the list of citizens = living there, he realizes there are three times as many women as men. He decides this is = a good time to make so money, so he posts a sign on his door.  SEX FOR SALE. The first = night he has a knock on the door.
 Sadie says, "What does your sign mean."
 Sam replies, "I am selling sex."
 "Well," says Sadie, "How much?"
Sam thinks slowly and replies, "I hadn't thought much about prices, but = I suppose it will be $5.00 on the floor, $10.00 on the chair, $15.00 standing up, and = $20.00 on the bed."=20 =20 Sam is quite relieved when he sees Sadie reach in her purse and pull out = a twenty dollar bill. "Oh, you want it on the bed."
"No," says Sadie, "Four on the floor!"
=3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =3D =20
1896 Jim Jordan, radio comedian (Fibber McGee)=20
1946 Sally Field, actress (Gidget, Flying Nun)=20
1962 Lori Singer, actress (Fame, V, Footloose)=20 1970 Ethan Hawke, actor (Dad, Dead Poets Society, Explorers)=20 =20 ARTISTIC -=20
1921 James Jones, novelist (From Here to Eternity)=20
1931 Mike Nichols, stage/film director (Catch 22, Biloxi Blues)=20 =20 HISTORIC -=20
1832 Joseph Smith, son of founder of Mormonism=20
1851 Charles H Dow, co-founded Dow Jones/1st editor of Wall St Journal=20
1955 Maria Shriver [Mrs A Schwarzenegger], newscaster (Sunday Today)=20 =20 MUSIC -=20
1814 Adolphe Sax, musician/inventor (saxophone)=20
1854 John Phillip Sousa, march king (Stars & Stripes Forever)=20
1916 Ray Conniff, chorus director (Ray Conniff Singers)=20
1948 Glenn Frey, rocker (Eagles-Take it Easy)=20 =20 SCIENCE -=20
1771 Alois Senefelder, inventor (lithography)=20 =20 SPORTS -=20
1861 James A Naismith, inventor (basketball)=20 =20

Sandy (AKA Ms Sam)
Jest-A-Day Journal

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 08:58:55 -1000
From:    Mickey <m.hennigan2@VERIZON.NET>
Subject: *Australian Vacation*

On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to him about his farm.

The Aussie takes him to see his big wheat field, but the Texan wasn't impressed.

"We have wheat fields that are twice as large as this one," he told the Aussie.

The Aussie farmer drives him around the ranch and shows off his big herd of cattle.

"Oh, our longhorns are at least twice as big as these," the Texan bragged.

The Aussie farmer is getting frustrated when the Texan notices a herd of kangaroos hopping across a field.

"What on earth are those?" he asks.

The Aussie turns to him with an astonished look.  "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 14:47:28 -0800
From:    Terry Tubman <ttubman@LYCOS.COM>
Subject: Grind

+Got this from my friend Ana E. Muss+

  Our crew at an ambulance company works 24-hour shifts.
The sleeping quarters consist of a large room with several single beds, so we get to know one another's habits, like who snores or talks in their sleep.
  While I was having my teeth examined by a dentist one day, he noticed that some of my teeth were chipped.  "It looks like you clench your jaw at night," he said.
  "No way," I blurted without thinking.  "No one has ever said I grind my teeth, and I sleep with a lot of people!"

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Date:    Sat, 6 Nov 2004 17:07:10 -0800
From:    Randall Woodman <wrwoodman@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Walking to School

Timmy was a little five year old boy whose Mom loved him very much, and being a worrier, she was concerned about his walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the first couple of days, and at the end of the week, he came home from school and told his mother that he did not want her walking him to school everyday. He wanted to be like the "big boys" he protested loudly.

So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week.

As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is."

The friend said, "Well, who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest" Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcy."

"Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?"

"Well", Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.

And in the psalm, it says 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life,' so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!"

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