Digest for Friday, April 12, 2002

There are 12 messages totalling 643 lines in this issue.




Topics of the day:

  1. Lettermans Top Ten Accountant Euphemisms For Sex
  2. Minnesota humor
  3. Dilbert-like quotes
  4. Grief!
  5. Tax Returns Prepared - Honest Mistakes Are Our Specialty
  6. Pet owner queries [Part 1]
  7. Time Flies
  8. Give a little, take a little
  9. Pet teachings
  10. Its a Wacky World! #99
  11. Puns of the Weak 4/12/02 (Part 1)
  12. Countries Who Met Over Internet Go To War


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 02:02:21 -0400
From:    Rollo Tomasi <rollotomasi@COMCAST.NET>
Subject: Letterman's Top Ten Accountant Euphemisms For Sex

10.  Using the long form

9.   Getting bottom-lined

8.   Increasing your cash flow

7.   Filing an extension

6.   Rounding off

5.   Depleting your reserves

4.   Filing jointly

3.   Get up, get on up, stay on the scene, like an adding machine

2.   Making your holdings grow

1.   Getting Enronned
___
©MMII, CBS Worldwide Inc. All Rights Reserved

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 03:04:44 -0500
From:    Tom and Carrol <tcr@CHARTER.NET>
Subject: Minnesota humor

The two surveyors had a problem.  At least, they thought they had a =
problem.  They were surveying the border between Minnesota and North =
Dakota and had found a discrepancy.  The previously marked boundaries =
were about 100 feet off to the West.  For whatever reason, the old =
survey line was slightly bowed.  There was a 5 mile stretch where the =
line, instead of being straight, was bowed slightly to the West.  At the =
widest, right in the middle, it was about 100 feet.  This meant, of =
course, that a narrow arc of land would have to be moved from Minnesota =
to North Dakota.

Typically this wouldn't be a huge problem, but some farmers were =
affected for tax purposes.  The crux of all this, though, was Ole =
Benson.  His house had been right on the border and right in the middle =
of the bow.  Ole was going to be North Dakotan and the surveyors didn't =
know how he was going to take the news.

With some trepidation they approached him.  Luckily, Sven was an old =
friend of Ole.

"Hey Ole," Sven said, "how's it by you, eh?"

"Hi Sven.  Oh, I don't know.  I been tinkin maybe I'm yust too old, eh.  =
I can't pee right no more, my joints all hurt.  I yust don't know."

"Well, we have some news for you, and we don't know how you'll feel =
about it.  Seems like dem old survey lines were out of whack and you =
don't live in Minnesota no more.  You live in North Dakota."

With that Ole slapped his knee, got a big grin on his face, got up and =
danced a little jig, much to Sven's surprise.

"Ole!  Why so happy, eh?"

"Vell, I tell you Sven.  I don't take the cold weather so good anymore =
and I vas worried I yust couldn't take another Minnesota winter!"

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 13:10:25 +0200
From:    Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@VENTURENET.CO.ZA>
Subject: Dilbert-like quotes

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to
submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual
security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their
cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in
Redmond, WA.)

2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines
Shipping)

3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for
company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

4 "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with
it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for
months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell
them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

7. "My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed
corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The
disk I gave her was write-protected." (CIO of Dell Computers)

8. Quote from the boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing
executive, Citrix Corporation)

9. My sister passed away, and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told  my
boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest
day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That
would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

10. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to
discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform
you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above."
(Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I
was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it
tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"    (New business manager,
Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 07:18:50 -0400
From:    Terry Galan <galante@MCMAIL.CIS.MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: Grief!

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in nursing
home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy, asked
if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My
penis died today, and I am very sad" Knowing her patients were forgetful
and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr.
Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his penis
hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she
said, "you shouldn't be walking down the hall Like this. Please put your
penis back inside your pajamas."
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my
penis died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
asked Nurse Tracy. "Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 07:33:18 -0400
From:    Paul Benoit <PBenoit@COOKSONELECTRONICS.COM>
Subject: Tax Returns Prepared - Honest Mistakes Are Our Specialty

   [ April 15th in the YooEss.... TAXES DUE!! ]
   [ 'Cept in MassaChewsIts... it's the 16th! ]


   ------------------------
The IRS makes mistakes; taxpayers are negligent.

   ------------------------
George Washington never told a lie...
But then, he never had to file a Form 1040.

   ------------------------
America is the land of opportunity.
Everybody can become a taxpayer.

   ------------------------
If you want to foil the IRS computer,
fill out your 1040 form using Roman numerals.

   ------------------------
The attitude of Congress toward hidden taxes is
not to do away with them, but to hide them better.

   ------------------------
Q: What is the difference between a terrorist and a tax inspector?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

   ------------------------
The income tax forms have been simplified beyond all understanding.

   ------------------------
It's too bad for the middle income person. They earn too much
to avoid paying taxes and make too little to afford paying them.

   ------------------------
It's strange how a person with no sense of humor can
come up with such funny answers on his/her tax return.

   ------------------------
Regardless of who wins the election, they
have to raise taxes to pay for the damage.

   ------------------------
Unquestionably, there is progress everywhere. The average
American now pays out as much in taxes as he once received
in wages.

   ------------------------
Another American invention: the permanent Temporary Tax.

   ------------------------
The meek may inherit the earth, but probably just in time
to see it sold for taxes.

   ------------------------
Of course you can't take it with you... and with high taxes,
lawyer's fees, and funeral expenses you can't leave it behind
either.

   ------------------------
The best things in life are still free, but
tax experts are working overtime on the problem.

   ------------------------
There's a new "tax cocktail" on the market...
Two drinks and you withhold nothing.

   ------------------------
I know a man who says he's going to invest his money
in taxes - it's the only sure thing to go up.


****************
What would a tax form be without rhetorical questions?


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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 06:53:07 -0700
From:    Les Pourciau <pourciau@MEMPHIS.EDU>
Subject: Pet owner queries [Part 1]

The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service
representatives at The Iams Company, handle more than 300,000 inquiries a year
from pet owners across the country.  Although the majority of calls to the
toll-free number are straightforward pet care and nutrition questions, some can
be quite unconventional. Here are some of the team's favorite calls:

My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering... how many
calories are in a mouse?
   cat owner, Omak, WA

I have a neutered male cat.  How old should he be before I can breed
him?
   cat owner, Colorado Springs, CO

Does your dog food help with emancipation?
   dog owner, Lockport, NY

What should I feed a borderline collie?
   puppy owner, Van Fleck, TX

What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?
   cat owner, Chicago, IL

Is it normal for a dog to shed?
   dog owner, Miami, FL

How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's toothbrush?
   cat owner, Los Angeles, CA

My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's stuck in the vacuum
cleaner. Any suggestions?
   cat owner, Amarillo, TX

How can I get the secret recipe for your Iams Chunks dog food?
Anchorage, AK

How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?
   pet owner, Ephrata, WA

Do you know how to toilet train a cat?
   cat owner, Ontario, Canada

I have three cats. Is it true that Eukanuba Cat Food makes the poop
smell better?
   cat owner, Wentzville, MO

Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's teeth?
  puppy owner, Chico, CA

Where can I get a six-toed cat?
   cat owner, El Paso, TX

I really like your paw print logo. Does Iams have a tattoo?
   pet owner, North Tonawanda, NY

Your food turned my dog into a stud.  Now what do I do?
   dog owner, Flushing, NY

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 09:04:12 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Time Flies

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is
there.  He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail
sitting on the doormat.  He picks it up and throws it across the
street into a field.

Ten years goes by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door.
He opens it up and no one is there.  He looks all around, and he
finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat.

The snail says, "What the f**k was that all about?"

[Thanks to Ben Fong]

http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 10:40:07 -0400
From:    Lee_Bradley <lbradley@VALDOSTA.EDU>
Subject: Give a little, take a little

Translated from blagues-l@gurus.com

Give a little, take a little

A guy meets a childhood pal:
"What are you doing for yourself these days?"
- I'm a fireman.
- Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.
- Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to install
  in your house a pole that will go to the basement so you
  kid can practice, 'cause the hardest thing for a fireman
  is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the
  middle of the night.

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again:
- Well, did your son become a fireman.
- No, but I have two daughters who are "dancers."


FROM: Pierrot La Roche

Subject: BLAGUES-L: Certains eteignent, d'autres attisent

Un gars rencontre un camarade d'enfance:

" Qu'est-ce que tu fais de bon ?
- Je suis pompier.
- Ah oui?  Mon fils de 15 ans rêve de devenir pompier.
- Si tu veux un bon conseil, il faudrait que tu fasses poser dans
ta maison un poteau qui descendrait au sous-sol afin que ton gars
puisse s'exercer parce que, ce qu'il y a de plus difficile pour les
pompiers, c'est de sauter dans le vide et d'attraper le poteau. "

Les 2 hommes se revoient 10 ans plus tard:
" Alors, ton fils, est-ce qu'il est pompier?
- Non, mais mes deux filles sont danseuses. "





**************************************************************
BLAGUES-L
Archives, informations: http://www.ventdelaitue.org/blagues-l/
**************************************************************

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 20:46:41 +0200
From:    Th. Legters <tlegters@XS4ALL.NL>
Subject: Pet teachings

A man bought a kitten and tried to teach it to speak. Everyday for 6
years he teached it the alphabet, numbers & letters. For hours and hours
he'd say to the cat: 'Repeat after me...'and then he would mention a
word, or a sentence and was eagerly waiting for the cat to indeed repeat
the spoken words, but alas: the only thing the cat did for those six
years was looking back at his 'teacher', who for some reason never
seemed to get frustrated at the lack of result.
And then after six years, to the ultimate suprise, the cat said: 'Look
out, the roof will come down'.
Completely flabberghasted, the man stared at the cat, seconds before he
was crushed by the falling roof.
The cat shaked his head and said: 'Now for six years he tries to make me
speak; after six years I decide to speak, and then..he won't listen!

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 15:59:24 -0300
From:    Ken Brousseau Sr <kenbruso@IO.COM>
Subject: It's a Wacky World! #99

LEWISTON, Maine - Police who were chasing a man after a traffic stop got an
unlikely assist from a skunk, who sprayed the suspect in the face. Kenneth
Rideout, 32, was nailed after he ran into the woods Tuesday night. He
was    wanted for violating release conditions stemming from a
domestic assault. The skunk didn't stop Rideout but it slowed him
down enough that police officers were able to catch up with him. "It
was powerful enough to pretty much incapacitate him," said police Lt.
Tom Avery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Source: Yahoo News

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Date:    Fri, 12 Apr 2002 21:47:19 -0700
From:    Stan Kegel <kegel@FEA.NET>
Subject: Puns of the Weak 4/12/02 (Part 1)

                        IN THE NEWS:

 •The decision to carry heart defibrillators on airplanes saved a
passenger's life on a Dallas flight. Unfortunately, his HMO only covers
coronaries on round trip flights purchased 14 days in advance with a
Saturday stay over. (Gag-O-Matic•
 •Psychiatrists say a man shouldn't keep too much to himself.  So does
the  IRS. (Beckie Shiles)•
 •I just finished my income tax forms. Who says you can't get wounded by
a blank? (Henny Youngman)•
 •Visiting Washington D.C., Dana wanted to see the White House for the
first time.  At the gate Dana asked the guard, "Do we have to pay?"
"Every April 15," he replied. (Marsha Coleman)•
 •I never cheat on my taxes.  I always let someone do it who knows how
(Beckie Shiles)•

                        PUNY RIDDLE CHAIN:

 •We already know that fish worshipers are Ichtheologists. Where do
Alaskan Ichtheologians do their schooling? In the salmonary (Gary Hallock)•
 •What metaphor describes young lovers drinking champagne? They're like
sips that passion the night. (Stan Kegel)•
 •A hairdresser whose customer complained about grey hair and being
overweight gave what advice? Diet (Clynch Varnadore)•
 •Why do most men like to go to massage parlors? They want to be kneaded
(Stan Kegel)•
 •How is setting your fish hooks with gummi bears similar to dating a 16
year old? One is Jail-Bait and the other is Gel-Bait (Gary Hallock)•
 •Name a movie about a golf tournament taking place on the Island of
Komodo, wherein a famous golfer is attacked from hiding by a giant
lizard while he is bending down lining up a putt Crouching Tiger, Hidden
Dragon (Ken Pinkham)•

                        OTHER RIDDLES:

 •What is the name of the fairy tale about the woman who uses her
premium charge card to purchase aspirin for herself and her two friends.
Gold Deluxe and the two bears.  (Lederer &  Ertner) •
 •Did you hear about the sexy movie star who got chased down by an over
zealous fan? She had a run in her stalking. (Cricketeer)•
 •What is a perpetual beaver colony? Eternal dam nation (Lederer &
Ertner)  •
 •Why do famous people feel cool? Because they are surrounded by fans!
(Bree Schultz)•
 •Why are bees very good at debating? Because they always carry their
point.   (Lederer & Ertner) •
 •Why are Jewish Mothers always excused from jury duty? They all insist
that they're the guilty ones. (Gag-O-Matic)•

                        DEFINITIONS:

 •Rap music: Telling on your friends to avoid a trip to Sing Sing (Stan Kegel)•
 •Explain: Simple breakfast, as opposed to with asparagus, ham, and
hollandaise sauce (Cynthia MacGregor) •
 •Falsies: Delusions of glandeur.  (M. Rose Pierce)  •
 •Senile: What elderly tourists do in Egypt. (Tim Bruening)•
 •Remember: What the doctors did to Mr. Bobbit  (Harry Farkas )•
 •Sheep Farmer: A person who runs a business with ewe in mind. (Bree Schultz)•
 •Bench Mark: The worn place on a judge’s pants. (Johnny Hart)•
 •Revealing: Cloning Bessie. (Glenn Gardner)•
 •Realistic:- A parasite who has accepted the fact that robots have no
blood. (Gary Hallock)•
 •Mischief: The chief's daughter. (Renee from Napa)•
 •Aspire: Where dead donkeys are cremated.  (P. C. Swanson)•
 •Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. (E4Fun)•
 •The Jet Set: Just plane folks (Leo Weiner)•
 •Pop Tarts: Daddy's girlfriends (Gary Hallock) •
 •Fundamentalism: Fund=give money.  Amentalism=without brains. (Clynch Varnadore)•
 •Produce: Supporter of Mussolini (Stan Kegel)•
 •Solar Cell:  A prison for stars.  (Tim Bruening)•
 •Discarded newspapers: Litterature (Leo Weiner)•
 •Request:  To go on the trip again (Kim Soriano) •
 •Orthodoxy: Female with a joint problem (Harry Farkas)•
 •Hand-me-down: What the smallest duck in the family wears.  (Douglas Helsel)•

                        TOM SWIFTIES:

 •"I repeat my statement that these seabirds can fly across the Pacific
without landing," Tom stated relying on my gullibility. (Stan Kegel) •
 •"Wait till I get my trousers on," Tom panted.  (Paul Benoit)•
 •"I tried to stop the horse by pulling the cord on the back", was Tom's
tale of woe. (Gill Krebs) •
 •"Senator Kennedy did not attend the rally," Tom noted. (Stan Kegel)•
 •"I'm not going to give up anything this year.  The year before last
was quite enough," said Tom relentlessly. (Gill Krebs)•
 •"I'll have the turtle soup," Tom mocked.  (Paul Benoit)•
 •"I'm nine and a half again," Tom pretended. (Stan Kegel)•
 •"Those beans gave me a lot of gas." Tommy blustered astutely.. (Lou Stewart)•
 •"The bottle of Cabernet is finished," Tom whined.  (Paul Benoit)•
 •"The recipe calls for removing all solids from the melted butter," Tom
clarified. (Stan Kegel)•
 •"Whoa, Hoss!" cried Tom haltingly. (Paul Benoit)•

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Date:    Sat, 13 Apr 2002 00:57:47 -0400
From:    The Punk with the Stutter <thepunkwiththestutter@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Countries Who Met Over Internet Go To War

      TARTU, ESTONIA—Just months after meeting in an Internet chat room, the nations of
Suriname and Estonia have entered a state of open hostility, U.N. sources reported
Tuesday.
      "In early January, Surinamese president Runaldo Ronald Venetiaan logged onto a
small-nations chat room on Yahoo! and came across Estonian president Arnold Ruutel," U.N.
Secretary-General Kofi Annan said.  "The two exchanged messages and, before long, became
Internet friends, bonding over their shared experiences as leaders of tiny republics."
      Despite their vast cultural differences and geographical distance, the Surinamese
and Estonian leaders forged a strong alliance, granting each other most-favored-nation
status and signing numerous trade pacts.
      Relations slowly turned sour, however, as a series of misunderstandings and
perceived snubs caused the friendship to deteriorate into enmity.  Just before dawn
Monday, Estonia commenced bombing raids along Suriname's coastal region, targeting a
military complex near the capital city of Paramaribo.  The attack was in response to
Suriname troop buildup in Latvia and a thwarted attempt to cross the Estonian border at
Valga last Friday.
      Estonia's angry e-mails to Suriname demanding a pullout of the Baltic region by
11:59 p.m. Sunday were repeatedly bounced back as "undeliverable due to fatal address
error."
      "U.N. negotiators are continuing their attempts to broker peace, but so far the
process has been marred by the leaders' steadfast refusal to communicate," Annan said.
"Both have removed their entries from the Yahoo! member directory for Presidents Of Small
Nations.  There is also reason to believe they are logging onto their favorite
world-politics chat rooms with alternate user names to avoid coming into contact with each
other."
      Venetiaan recalled the leaders' first chat-room encounter.
      "I didn't know I'd one day live to regret meeting that lousy ex-Commie," said
Venetiaan, who logged on using his secondary e-mail account,
republic_of_suriname1975@hotmail.com.  "Estonia looked like an interesting country, so,
being the leader of a country myself, I typed in a message saying, 'hello out there..
whatsup in etsonia?'"
      Less than 30 seconds later, Venetiaan received a response.
      "It was from Estonia, saying, 'the inflations terrible!!!  How bout where you are?'
I wrote back, 'inflations pretty bad here too but at least it's 80 degrees and sunny!!!
;)'  He replied, 'i'm sooo jealous—it's freezing here!  by the way I'm wracking my brains
trying to think of new economic measures to strengthen estonia's manufacturing base.  if
youve got any suggestions, feel free send them my way!'"
      Stressing that he usually does not e-mail countries he doesn't even know, Venetiaan
sent Ruutel a full page of economic-stimulus ideas, appended with the qualifier, "not that
i know anything!  my country's got 21.7% unemployment!  :("
      Upon receiving Venetiaan's e-mail, Ruutel sent him an instant message about a
monetary-unit conversion-program download he had seen.
      "We ended up chatting for almost an hour," Ruutel said.  "Nothing important, just,
'What's your main export? I have this much arable land, how about you?' That sort of
thing."
      According to Venetiaan, the two countries had a surprising amount in common.
      "Suriname was granted independence from the Netherlands in 1975 after riots broke
out," Venetiaan said.  "Estonia had a lot of the same problems when they declared
independence from the Soviet Union in 1990.  It was weird: Even though, on the surface, we
seemed totally different, we'd been through a lot of the same things."
      Said Ruutel, "We added each other to our MSN Messenger Friends lists and started
forwarding each other funny internal memos.  Arnold sent me an MP3 from his brother's
kesco band, a traditional form of Surinamese music.  Then I sent him a PayPal payment for
just two kroon and said I was donating my budget surplus.  We had a good laugh over that
one."
      Two months after first meeting on the Internet, Venetiaan and Ruutel finally met
face-to-face.
      "When I told Arnold I was going to be on vacation in South America, he arranged a
dinner in my honor," Venetiaan said.  "It was a little awkward at first, because we didn't
really have any official state business, but we ended up having a great time.  We arranged
to build an Estonian embassy in Paramaribo and signed a bunch of tariff and trade
agreements."
      In addition to the economic pacts, Suriname pledged non-military support for Estonia
in disputes with Russia.  In return, Estonia agreed to back Suriname's claim on an area in
French Guiana between Riviere Litani and Riviere Marouini.
      Trouble began several weeks later, however, when a sudden jump in the value of oil
shale and a sluggish international textile market prompted Ruutel to call for
renegotiations.
      "All of a sudden, Arnold says he wants to pull out of our bauxite agreement,"
Venetiaan said.  "Then he's mad I took my raw aluminum to Finland for a deal on heavy
machinery imports.  I e-mailed and e-mailed, trying to clear up the whole mess, but there
was no reply."
      Feeling snubbed, Venetiaan sent Ruutel an antagonistic e-mail informing him that
Suriname planned to establish formal relations with Russia.
      Ruutel replied with an angry six-page e-mail blasting Suriname's decision to form an
alliance with Estonia's unfriendly neighbor.  When Venetiaan responded by sending a Golden
Girls "I'm Sorry" Lifetime Network e-card, Ruutel placed his country on full military
alert.  Though Venetiaan later insisted the card was "just a joke," the damage was done.
      "At that point, I didn't want to deal with him anymore, diplomatically or
personally," Ruutel said.  "I sent a formal declaration of war and CCed all of my top
generals.  The subject line was 're: bomb Corantijn river region sky-high.'"
      Estonian Prime Minister Mart Laar characterized the breakdown in international
relations as "nothing to mourn."
      "I never really liked that Ron," Laar said.  "He always seemed kind of creepy to me.
I think Estonia is better off without Suriname."
      Venetiaan is similarly unfazed.
      "I don't know why Estonia had to get all weird on me," Venetiaan said.  "Whatever.
Their loss, that's for sure."
___   ___   ___   ___   ___
© Copyright 2002 Onion, Inc.



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