The Humor List
 

TRAFFIC REPORT FOR OCTOBER 2015

1. Introductory Comments
2. How to Contribute
3. Archive Information
4. Traffic Report
5. Countries Information
6. Number Submissions By Hour
7. Top 13 Contributors
8. HumorList Information
9 Changes - August 2017
10. Contribution of Humor
11. Site Navigation


Hi, everyone, this is Doug, with this month's traffic report. Once a month, during the first part of the month, I send the report to the entire HUMOR list. Welcome to the month of October, 2015.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to: comments@thehumorlist.us On any reports, the totals are for 'days submitted' and not for the actual number of jokes submitted. Submission dates are based upon Eastern Time. Although more than one joke may be submitted per day, for the 'Daily Submission' count, only one submission per day is countable for these totals.

I had a hard disk crash in September and more problems in October which required me getting a new computer. Of course both problems meant I had to reinstall everything and the computers were in the shop for almost 3 weeks total.

As a result, I didn't get any member statistics for September, I lost the Digest dated October 28, and this report is late. If anyone can send me the Digest I am missing, I would appreciate it. I will redo the October report with the November report and post the corrected one on the Archives.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it and don't eat too much.

This is the Main Index, with current links for the archives - with HTML copies of Digests and Yearly and Monthly Traffic Reports: http://archive.thehumorlist.us/Site1/index.php

(Updated: January 2018)
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Anyone subscribing to HumorList may post if they wish. Send your humor to: thehumorlist@simplelists.us
- Keep in mind that new Contributors are moderated until you can abide by The Rules.
- You will not see your posts (if you get individual postings) until they are approved.
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Traffic Report for October 2015
Week Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1         5 3 4
2 3 4 3 4 4 6 3
3 1 6 3 7 6 6 4
4 3 5 4 9 5 8 5
5 2 5 5 4 5 8 4

 





  Oct 2015 Sep 2015 Oct 2014 Oct 2013
# Jokes for the Month: 142 140 174 159
# Days of submissions for the Month: 31 30 31 31
# Average Jokes per day for the Month: 5 5 6 5
# Contributors for the Month: 14 11 12 14
# New Subscribers for the Month: 7 * * 2
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 5 * 1 12
# Non-Concealed Subscribers at end of the Month: 1481 * 1504 1561
# Contributors at end of the Month: 12 * 16 17
# Countries at end of the Month: 41 41 42 45

The above statistics are based on addresses registered to our Listserver. It does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings. The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
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The HumorList is sent daily to the following countries:
Argentine, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Cocos Islands, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Mexico, Micronesia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Sweden, Taiwan, Turkey, Tuvalu, United Kingdom, and the USA.

The countries list is generated from the last part of your email address. If your address doesn't end with a country name, it is assumed to be from the USA.
 
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Number Submissions By Hour
00-11 2 2 0 1 5 1 23 6 7 9 10 7
12-23 14 7 11 4 5 2 1 5 11 6 2 3
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And now, the Top 15 Contributors
This will show you which Contributors are sending the most daily contributions of Humor each month. Those who are posting every day are noted.
Top 14 Contributors from 10/01/2015 to 10/31/2015
* Paul Benoit 31
George Matyjewicz 28
Maurizio Mariotti 24
Stan Kegel 15
Anna Welander 9
Lanny Julian 7
Lee Bradley 6
Phil G 2
Grady Lacy 2
Richard 1
Renaud Olgiati 1
Mickey Hennigan 1
Emko Witteveen 1
HumorList Traffic Reporter 1
* - Contributed Every Digest/Day
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The Humor staff is comprised of:
SANDY (Member Services, Correspondence, and "Rules Cop")
    admin1@thehumorlist.us
DOUG (The Technical Guru that holds us together, Archivist, and Traffic Reporter)
    traffic@thehumorlist.us

Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus
 
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HUMOR GOALS: A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning requirement).

HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version):
Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted.
No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions.
Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or signature file.
NO SPAMMING! A spammer will receive one warning before they are deleted and blocked. This is that one warning!
NO links or attached files - with the exception of official business by the administrators.

A CONTRIBUTOR WHO REPEATEDLY VIOLATES THE RULES, AFTER BEING WARNED, WILL BE SUSPENDED.

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EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2017
The Humor List became a subscriber-supported list, with our list-mailing service being managed through SimpleLists. New information is now available for subscriptions, 12 months of current archives, and account management. We also have pages on both Facebook and Twitter.

SUBSCRIBE: The most current information, prices, and possible specials, will be posted on our website. We only accept PayPal for membership fees.

TO BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER: http://thehumorlist.us/subscribe.htm


TO CONTROL YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS: http://archives.simplelists.com/


TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE HUMOR LIST: Individualized link included on every email subscribers received.

 
TO FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/The-Humor-List-241979695844031/


TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/search?q=the_humor_list&src=typd


CONTRIBUTORS - SUBMIT POSTS TO: thehumorlist@simplelists.com


24-HOUR POSTING TIMES FOR DIGESTS: Midnight to midnight, PDT (UTC minus 08 hours) and 11:00 PM to 11:00 PM PST  (UTC minus 07 hours).

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And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports, the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives. It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. This is my contribution of Humor from the Archives:

-This joke is joke # 5 in the Digest For 09/18/2005
From: Sandy (AKA MsSam)
Subject: September 18th - U.S. Air Force Birthday

Today is the 261st day of the year, with only 104 days remaining in 2005.

CELEBRATING TODAY: U.S. Air Force Birthday
In 1947, the U.S. Air Force was established as a separate service branch when President Truman signed the National Security Act of 1947. William Stuart Symington was the first Secretary of the Air Force.

AIR FORCE MAINTANENCE
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Problem: "#1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Solution: "Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
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SUFFRAJET: What Air Force One will be called by our first woman president. (Wicked-Good Dictionary)
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Doug Harter, Asst. Admin, Traffic Reporter and Archivist

	
 
 
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